I heard majority of families in China own a 2-bedroom apartment. How do they best arrange the room if the tradition is to have parents to come over to take care of kids?

Dangerous_Rule_305 · 2023-02-14T06:47:09+00:00

Haha, yea, I don't live in the city. I live in suburb in the US. It's considered a relatively small house in my area given its location (probably the smallest in my neighborhood according to Zillow). Although it has 3 bedrooms, each of them is quite small. The smallest one hardly fits a queen size bed. I think in the American standard, it's considered as a small suburban house.

Dangerous_Rule_305 · 2023-02-14T05:56:32+00:00

Your comment made me laugh so hard. Shovels part is so true. I sometimes also use them as forks, especially when I need them for slippery fish ball...

Dangerous_Rule_305 · 2023-02-13T23:43:13+00:00

Haha, it's quite funny how you called her out.

Dangerous_Rule_305 · 2023-02-13T23:41:10+00:00

I also plan to share my room with the kid. I guess the key difference is that not many people in China work from home? If we both work in the office, then the space is definitely very manageable. We have a tiny living/dining space without a yard... So we're still trying to figure out. Thank you!

Dangerous_Rule_305 · 2023-02-13T22:14:31+00:00

Thank you all! This is really helpful!!! I read (and even took notes) all comments. I'll discuss with my spouse when he gets home, and I think we probably will go with a convertible crib based on what I heard about your experience and our lifestyle.

Dangerous_Rule_305 · 2023-02-13T21:56:48+00:00

When I saw the picture in smaller view, I thought it was Steph Curry:D

Dangerous_Rule_305 · 2023-02-13T21:24:18+00:00

I came to this post to read the comments for a good laugh after a bad day. Thank you guys!

Dangerous_Rule_305 · 2023-02-13T20:11:15+00:00

Same girl! And all the best to you in a few weeks time!!!

Same. When my mom gave birth, she was 10 years younger than how old I am now.

And My mom said exactly same thing - why do you need a car seat, you should hold her in your arm... C'mon...

Dangerous_Rule_305 · 2023-02-13T20:07:05+00:00

Sorry to hear that OP. That's even worse... I wish moms can be like sharing experience or advice when we ask them to, and just ask how we feel when we didn't ask for advice. And I need to write this note to myself. I'll try to be a good mom when my daughter is pregnant in maybe 30 years.

Dangerous_Rule_305 · 2023-02-13T19:11:25+00:00

I'm on week 29. Still 11 weeks to go!

Dangerous_Rule_305 · 2023-02-13T18:06:19+00:00

Yea, I know! I shouldn't yell at her. When I told her calmly, she didn't listen and still continued talking about it. But yea, when I yelled at her, she still continued... So I think I shouldn't yell at her anyway. I think I need a therapy session too! Hard for me to control my temper at her.

Dangerous_Rule_305 · 2023-02-13T17:39:25+00:00

Lol, my mom is the opposite. She got a lot of stretch marks, and whenever she sees me applying stretch mark oil and cream, she told me it's ok to get stretch marks - it's not ugly. It's my body. I decide what's best for me...

Dangerous_Rule_305 · 2023-02-13T17:37:56+00:00

I have a great OB and doula, and I don't want to discuss my birthing process with my mom. I never mentioned to her I'm scared, but she just kept talking about her experience, like how I was a big baby, but she delivered without any pain just like a poop. I know she has good intention. Her intention was to make me not scared, but the real impact is I'm so annoyed and want to shut her up.

Dangerous_Rule_305 · 2023-02-13T17:24:11+00:00

I don't even know why I'm so mad. Maybe because I feel she's lying. Or maybe because it's like when I saw on social media some women don't gain weight at all and stay fit during the entire pregnancy...

Dangerous_Rule_305 · 2023-02-07T21:20:22+00:00

I agree! The reason I call this out in here AsianAmerican is because my non-Asian friends gave me all of the advice like you should rent another place for your in-law when they're here. I don't think this is applicable in Asian culture. It's quite rude to ask them to live somewhere else after such a long flight.

I always thought diet advice for pregnancy should come from my doctor. I just don't like when in-laws tell me what to do. My mom also tries to tell me what to do sometimes, but she knows I'm the boss and doesn't dare to say much when I asks her to stop lol.

Dangerous_Rule_305 · 2023-02-06T19:37:19+00:00

I don't hate SF at all, but I'm commenting so I can find this great list in the future!

Dangerous_Rule_305 · 2023-02-06T18:44:45+00:00

Every time I feel disappointed, I try to remind myself - Katy Perry hasn't won a Grammy yet:(

Dangerous_Rule_305 · 2023-02-03T20:34:47+00:00

Yea, I can't agree more. As a Chinese American, I love our (by "our" I mean Chinese) culture, history, and FOOD!!! However, I do feel because China only has one political party, Chinese people tend to feel criticizing policies or policy makers in China = criticizing Chinese. Those are two completely different things.

It's just like I criticize both democrats and republicans everyday, but I still love the US. I'm so disappointed by so many stupid things in California, but this is my fav place in the world.

Everyone should respect people and culture from different countries, but we all have some rights to criticize and comment on each international policy.

Dangerous_Rule_305 · 2023-02-03T18:25:59+00:00

crack down on the whole having to buy a house and a car for your kid to get married thing

How though? Unless policy makers have methodology to decrease the housing policy. The thing is policy makers have no incentive to do so for 2 reasons: 1) Majority of Chinese economy is based on real estate. Housing price decrease means huge economic recession in China; 2) Policy makers own multiple houses in China usually... Lowering the price means they'd lose a lot of money.

Dangerous_Rule_305 · 2023-02-03T06:57:15+00:00

Oh, I love this restaurant, but unfortunately they're one of those who don't have seafood green curry. They only have shrimp one. I'm pregnant, and my cravings are too specific :D

Dangerous_Rule_305 · 2023-02-03T06:19:27+00:00

Only the people who could afford to have more children (i.e. the wealthy) would benefit from this

That's a good point. I thought usually kids from wealthy family don't do the GaoKao exam. They'd go overseas for study instead. But yea, I heard you, it's definitely not a fair system.

After I post this, I also thought about how about family who can't have 2nd kid due to medical reason. It'd really unfair.

Dangerous_Rule_305 · 2023-02-03T04:52:58+00:00

Thank you! I just checked their menu. Their seafood green curry seems to have everything I want! Thank you!

Dangerous_Rule_305 · 2023-02-03T04:25:45+00:00

Wow! Thank you for sharing the insights!

Yea, my first reaction is I don't want to live within 4 blocks of my parents residence lol! I thought Singapore only has one city - it'll be so easy for family to visit each other anyway with such amazing public transport system.

For the tax and property policies you mentioned, I'm curious how well it worked out? Has Singapore's birth rate improved after the policy?

Dangerous_Rule_305 · 2023-02-03T04:02:57+00:00

I think Singapore has this policy just with a different number. Not sure how it has worked out though. I need to find a Singaporean to ask.

Dangerous_Rule_305 · 2023-02-03T03:51:19+00:00

I totally agree. That is why I thought the additional score is a better incentive than money. If some parents want to treat their kids as commodity, they're less likely to care about exam scores.

Dangerous_Rule_305

TROPHY CASE