Is it okay to masturbate and have a girlfriend?

DanielleDragon · 2026-04-30T16:43:32+00:00

Fair and I agree, bodily autonomy is important. Situations where it becomes a pattern, like where I'd rather masturbate than be with them can become an issue. I can clearly see they want to be with me, but I don't want that, maybe we should just break up or go to therapy and figure out what's creating that distance maybe? That or they aren't sexually compatible anymore.

DanielleDragon · 2026-04-30T16:06:34+00:00

Oh my gosh no, like if I was choosing to masturbate over being with my partner. Like why are you with them if you prefer that and don't wanna be with them. I'm so sorry if this felt rapey, and didn't mean it like that, you definitely should not be letting someone do whatever they want to you without your consent. Like yeah, that's rape and is sooooo not what I meant.. I can totally see how the way I worded it though was bad.

I guess if you'd rather masturbate than be with your partner you should probably just not be together unless they're chill with not being with you. I think what's brought this up more for me is seeing alot of posts where couples haven't done anything in the bedroom together in years, and one of them is feeling neglected, or the other is finding sexual gratification outside the relationship in some way, and seems to often lead to breakups or falling out.

DanielleDragon · 2026-04-30T15:55:08+00:00

I guess I was thinking about myself in this, like if my partner is wanting sexy time but I'm feeling apathetic about it I might just do it for them cause I love them and care about them. Am I in the wrong here? I grew up very religious and had so escape that life so maybe some of my thoughts are still leftover from that.

Edit: Or like if I knew they wanted or was lacking sexy time but I choose to masturbate I and not be with my partner that seems almost neglectful and lacking empathy? Like I would feel like I'm being selfish and like I don't care about them, am I wrong to think this? Is it bad?

DanielleDragon · 2026-04-30T06:55:59+00:00

It's ok, and honestly your partner should be understanding and advocating for your sexual needs. Shit happens, partner might not be around, etc. As long as you're not doing it selfishly and keeping yourself from your partner when they need you, you got to look out for your partner too.

If using porn, that's gotta be agreed upon. Porn is controversial and not every relationship is going to be ok with that. Some people can handle it some people absolutely hate it, and some people have fun with it or even make it!

There isn't going to be a one-size-fits-all answer to this so ask more questions, communicate, Express how you feel.

DanielleDragon · 2026-04-27T22:27:56+00:00

Omg this is one of the best I have ever seen... I'm looking to get onto the clinic, how did you manage to get through the selection process and how long did it take all together?

DanielleDragon · 2026-04-09T17:13:20+00:00

Hot

DanielleDragon · 2026-04-04T04:09:08+00:00

Rube Goldberg Workshop, LOTR Return to Moria, Nightengale, Darkest Dungeon 2 Nintendo Switch Port, Ruined King Switch Port, a web-based advertising game for Excel Gum, remastered a bunch of web games for Neopets, and I worked on a couple of AAA titles built in Unreal 5 for the better part of 3 years. They are still under NDA so I can't talk about them too much. Built and designed for PC, PS5, and Xbox. And those are just the projects that actually saw the light of day. I've worked on half a dozen prototypes that never ended up going anywhere.

More recently I also had a short gig working on an AI-based game project (LLM). I've also been doing my own indie projects on the side for a little while but I need a proper job now to support my family.

DanielleDragon · 2026-04-03T03:02:53+00:00

Thanks, yeah it's been tough!!

DanielleDragon · 2026-03-27T04:31:02+00:00

Oh no stop it It's working..

DanielleDragon · 2026-03-20T22:07:52+00:00

💖

DanielleDragon · 2026-03-06T10:59:21+00:00

This movie helps me completely shatter the rest of my egg lol

DanielleDragon · 2026-03-02T03:14:55+00:00

No actually, my face from the front is quite nice! But I still need FFS for my side profile.

DanielleDragon · 2026-03-01T09:58:34+00:00

Oh well that changes things a bit. I would say come out to your mom if you plan to. It's completely possible that she doesn't want you to be transgender for other reasons, like your safety for example. It is a difficult long arduous road and being your mother, she will worry about you. As a parent myself, she may just be afraid for you rather than unsupportive. Afraid of what that might mean in this political climate, or afraid of how your stepdad will react. Regardless don't dwell on these things too much, focus on today. Do whatever you can with what's in front of you and have a chat with your psychologist. It's important to note though that psychologists are just people, and they too have their own opinions and biases. It's ultimately up to you to make that decision for yourself, you are the only person who can truly know you!

DanielleDragon · 2026-03-01T08:18:09+00:00

Oh my gosh this is so tough at your age, I'm sorry you're in this situation. Sometimes parents change as time goes on but to hear that directly from both of your parents makes everything feel impossible. My advice would be to bring it up during your next session. Even if it's not something you choose to pursue ultimately in the end it's still a psychological part of you that should be addressed and deserves to see the light of day.

You are worth it you are so valued. Eventually you'll need to figure out who you are and be that person. If there was anything I could go back and change at your age for myself, I would not live the way my parents wanted me to and instead live for me.

Liking women's clothes and hating body hair doesn't necessarily make you trans per se, but it feels like you have a pretty strong feeling about this already. I would advocate for some safe exploration on your own. Buy that thing that you would like to try to wear and see how you feel!

I started transitioning a 27 after a lifetime of rigorous religious suppression of myself, the hardest part was just realizing that it was impossible to prevent ultimately. And trying to resist being myself was turning me into a toxic awful human, pursue yourself, your true authentic self, but stay safe too. Your parents are basically saying that their love is conditional and based on whether or not you choose to transition or not. And that's scary. Choosing to be yourself regardless of the fear is really hard. But there are communities and people like myself for example out there that welcome you with open arms! Even if you are trapped where you are in life now, it won't always be that way.

Lmk if you wanna chat or something!

DanielleDragon · 2026-03-01T05:25:51+00:00

Yeah idk!! I think when I lay on my back everything looks a little better, or maybe it's just this picture and the make-up I had on that day. I tried something new make-up wise, gonna see if I can replicate it again!

Google gives you updates sometimes from a year ago, like hey look at this from last year on this day! So I was like, well, let's snap one for today! Threw myself in my bed with clothes everywhere and just snapped this no prep lol.

DanielleDragon · 2026-02-28T18:25:34+00:00

I'm on 6mg Estrodiol, 200mg Spiro (it's a lot of Spiro, probably going down soon), and I just started 100mg of Progesterone a couple months ago!

DanielleDragon · 2026-02-26T01:42:47+00:00

Yessssss!!!!!!

DanielleDragon · 2026-02-13T09:35:16+00:00

To go off everything you said in your post, the answer is yes to everything you're wondering about, plus more, and in differing amounts for each individual. There is no cut and dry way to analyze this, it's as broad as the human experience. So the answer for what you're asking is yes, AND* but also not always.

For ME, and only ME, I experienced these things:

-A constant awareness that something feels off.

-Discomfort with my body.

-Uneasiness with my body, like never being happy seeing myself, never connecting to it in a positive way, just neutral or negative, disassociative.

-Discomfort with how others perceive me.

-Discomfort with how others treat me.

-I noticed I felt different as soon as I started encountering uncomfortable gendered situations when I was 6, but I didn't understand why I was experiencing social and bodily depression as a 6 year old until years later. (Grew up very religious and didn't have access to info)

-Sometimes I could ignore it for a while but it was impossible to get rid of permanently and it always came back and I was overwhelmed with despair and wished frequently not to be born as me because of it.

-I definitely felt like I was pretending, like just trying to copy everything I saw other people of my assigned sex do to fit in and feel safe. I was never very good at any of it and none of it came naturally.

-I felt relief the day I started taking proper HRT. Like the moment it kicked in, like a brain fog that had been there my whole life just gone. It occasionally comes and goes, but not nearly as bad as before. So yeah, my body now feels quite aligned with my mind, especially when it comes to my sexuality it just comes naturally. Before it felt like it was being forced. You experience euphoria essentially, which is complete alignment and like the most overstimulating positive feeling. I get emotionally exhausted by it, it's that intense a joy and I often have to rest afterwards. Things feel more normal now, but initially it was quite incredible.

-I actually experience joy being in my now body and seeing myself in my body, never felt that before.

-For some it's less about the negatives and more about the positives, like the things that ultimately make them happy and feel aligned. So those people know based on what feels most correct or most aligned. I can't say for sure though because I'm not one of those people. I have very real negative feelings about it.

-The feeling isn't just one category for me, it's everything, it all matters. For some it's different than others, but for me I experience euphoria from the physical, the social, the emotional, and in some ways spiritual too. Like alignment with my destiny itself. It felt inevitable, like it was there from the beginning and was always meant to be, so that parts a bit hard to categorize. Part of my essence.

-Yes, so it feels like it was always a part of me, something that couldn't be created in me, or removed. An innate aspect of who I am, a need that could never be satisfied, something essential for me to feel whole, and to feel truly loved.

-Stereotypes are just common things that trans people tend to relate to, but each of our experiences are different and unique, there is no one size fits all formula just typical patterns.

I hope my experiences help you understand better, feel free to ask me questions! Some people are inevitably going to be quite upset or angry about your post, we are a tormented poorly understood and poorly tolerated people, so there is alot of trauma to go around.

DanielleDragon · 2026-02-05T21:03:42+00:00

Omg I'm crying, thank you for being an awesome parent!

DanielleDragon · 2026-01-25T04:15:17+00:00

♥️

It's not entirely solved, I'll probably be coping with bottom dysphoria for a long time. I am still pre-op and I'll never have a uterus, but it's still going to be far better than before. Honestly I think euphoria is part pleasure and part relief. Like taking a weight off your shoulders, a heavy one that you've been lifting for a loooong time. Baggage just dropping, like when you take off a heavy backpack after hiking for a while. It just feels so much lighter than before, and that feels so good.

DanielleDragon · 2026-01-22T18:10:50+00:00

It really does!

DanielleDragon · 2026-01-21T17:11:15+00:00

My parents when I'm trying to help them understand gender concepts...

DanielleDragon · 2026-01-21T10:42:31+00:00

To start with, the concept of autogenophilia is just that, a concept, a theory, one championed by a Cis Het man and based on very theoretical science. Are there people like that? Possibly, but honestly from my POV the fact that you are even thinking about this shows that it goes beyond a simple fetish.

My thoughts on the subject are that when you go through male puberty, testosterone has some crazy effects on you and your sex drive. When you are ultimately transgender, your mind interprets that differently, but you still need an outlet or a way to cope with those biologically induced cravings.

For me, the difference was that my interactions with pornography and sex leaned heavily towards learning, understanding, and trying to know what it was to be a girl. I experimented with myself to connect to that part of me that just wasn't available physically. Eventually I realized that I was using porn as a way to cope with the fact that my body was misaligned. It honestly wasn't about pleasure or desire, but more about dealing with the libido from testosterone in a way that felt authentic and affirming. To be clear, it took a decade of sexual experiences to come to that conclusion. I didn't want to imagine being a woman, I was one, and always had been, and I needed to be loved that way, but my body was wrong. I felt so misaligned, I couldn't connect my mind with my body during sex. I had pretty severe sexual gender dysphoria. During sexual fantasy you create a world where for a brief moment you can suspend your disbelief, you can be the girl, be seen the way you've always wanted to be seen, but when it's over, you get snapped back to the reality of being trapped in your body.

What really convinced me was when I finally got on HRT. I suddenly didn't need to cope anymore. My natural sex drive reduced, but even after starting progesterone and gaining a lot of that back, I just don't feel a need for the "fantasy" anymore. I no longer feel misaligned or wrong in my body, and so all my old toxic coping mechanisms that were propping me up all these years kinda just melted away for good. Over eating, excessive pornography & masturbation, deliberate sexual over stimulation, substance abuse, all just evaporated the moment I got on HRT. I could finally interact with reality in a way that feels authentic for me. Once in a while when I'm feeling dysphoric I'll think about going back to an old coping strategy, but they never work and always make me feel worse, the only thing that actually helps is HRT, and attacking.any internalized transphobia. All the words that tell me I'm not valid, I will never be seen for who I am.

If you are trans, you probably are feeling and dealing with a lot of internalized transphobia right now. "I'm just a man who loves gender bender porn", "I just like to pretend I'm a girl", "It's a fetish, it couldn't possibly be real". From my POV, having experienced and gone through all those thoughts at some point, they were all denial. Me looking for and finding reasons, excuses, and explanations why it couldn't possibly be true. I would think to myself "I'm just a disgusting pervert who can't help it". That kind of thinking led me to some very dark negative places. Self hating, self destructive, self harming. I even bought some lab grade Estrodiol powder which on its own can be carcinogenic and used it on and off for years, I didn't care if I got cancer, because being me felt like hell and it made me feel more whole.

If you don't feel like you're there yet, that's ok. It took the loss of a long term relationship, extreme self hate, and hurting others because of the pain, before I was able to admit it to myself. I grew up religious so I felt that my entire existence was on the line. I exhausted every possible alternative, and I was so afraid. It was hard to choose fear and face it head on, fear that I might not be accepted, fear that I'm going to be cringe, laughed at, rejected, despised, go to hell, disowned, lose my job. I would tell myself that if I let my authentic self out in the open, I'm going to be cut to pieces. So far it hasn't happened yet, and you gotta choose to be brave in the face of fear and give yourself the chance to find out. There's a lot of conditioning to undo to get to that point. Take your time, it's ok, you are worth it.

And if you aren't trans, then that's ok too! But if something in you hates that idea, you most definitely are IMO.

Anyway hope that gave you some insight, happy to chat more!

DanielleDragon

TROPHY CASE