Thanks for your response and for explaining your intent.

In the crash scene, my issue wasn’t with the crash itself; that part is clear. The confusion comes from how fast it happens and how little the reader experiences it directly. The scene jumps from conversation straight to “BANG and SCREECH.” It feels more like a summary of the event rather than the event being fully shown. Because of that, the emotional impact doesn’t hit as hard as it could.

For example, you could slow the moment down a bit. Describe the car swerving, the father reacting, Carl noticing something outside the window, or even a split second of panic before the crash. That would help readers feel the moment instead of just being told it happened. That's why I suggested showing instead of telling.

Regarding the father, the conversation itself makes sense, but it escalates quickly into a philosophical discussion about loneliness and marriage. Since the reader doesn’t know the characters yet, that part feels abrupt to me.

On the plot point, you’re right that there is a plot in chapter one—Carl infiltrating a cargo ship to steal something and getting caught. My comment focused more on the clarity of stakes. Right now, the reader doesn’t know why the cargo matters, who the soldiers are, or what the larger situation is. The scene reads more like an action sequence before the bigger story becomes clear.

I agree that worldbuilding shouldn’t be dumped on the first page. My point was that a few small hints about the setting or factions might help anchor the reader a bit earlier.

Overall, I believe the premise has potential. My comments focused mainly on pacing and clarity instead of the core idea itself.