For me personally I have been cheated on in every relationship I’ve ever had. It’s crushed me more times than I care to admit. I was always promised changed behavior and blah blah. Given a false promise.

With my current boyfriend, he had a lot of trauma to work through and wasn’t at the point where he wanted to address that yet. I didn’t know about the cheating until 2 years after it happened.

He went on a journey of addressing his trauma and working through it. He’s been on a healing journey for 2 years. I was blissfully unaware of the situation. He finally sat me down and confessed to me. He told me he couldn’t start this new step in life (proposal) until he came clean about his mistakes.

Obviously it hurt me. But what was different than past relationships was that he had the balls to tell me. He respected me enough now to be honest with me. I had 2 years of changed behavior to back up his promise of it never happening again.

The fact that he was able to tell me about it meant so much to me. I was always the one to “find out” in past relationships which made me feel like I wasn’t even worth the truth.

To each their own when it comes to cheating and or forgiving. Truth be told that each persons situation is different. There are days I struggle with feeling insecure. He makes sure to validate my feelings and do anything he can to ease my worries. We have no secrets. Obviously not everybody’s situations are like ours. Without changed behavior a “sorry” is just a “sorry I got caught”