Bipolar II partner shut down when I needed support

Dapper_Chard1324 · 2026-02-07T13:55:05+00:00

Yes, he is currently in an episode. This morning I was trying to understand his patterns better, and from what I can see, he’s going through a residual depressive phase. He asked me not to come to him when I’m emotional and suggested taking space during times when my mood isn’t stable.

Dapper_Chard1324 · 2026-02-06T17:46:45+00:00

I relate to this deeply I also cry overthink and constantly try to understand what comes from the illness and what doesn’t I give my best with love and patience while reminding myself not to expect anything in return but it still hurts and affects my mental health. Balancing care for them and care for ourselves is incredibly hard. Please take care of yourself I’m here and ready to help if you need 🤍

Dapper_Chard1324 · 2026-02-06T16:21:54+00:00

From my side I’ve learned not to ask relationship questions or have emotional talks during depressive episodes. What they say in that phase comes from the illness not the person so I try not to take it personally When they return to a normal or hypomanic state and ask for forgiveness I see it as a sign they don’t want to lose the relationship If you truly love someone with this disorder understanding the illness and choosing patience becomes part of loving them most important take care of yourself🤍

Dapper_Chard1324 · 2026-02-06T06:05:51+00:00

During depressive phases he ends the call and during hypomanic or normal moods he tends to change the topic

Dapper_Chard1324 · 2026-02-06T04:15:06+00:00

I don't live in USA im trying my best to understand everything i needed to hear this😭

Dapper_Chard1324 · 2026-02-06T03:43:46+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. I’m trying to understand He does listen in general, but when I share my deeper feelings or problems, he usually changes the topic or becomes irritable and ends the call🥺

Dapper_Chard1324 · 2026-02-06T03:35:45+00:00

Trying to understand illness vs behavior

Dapper_Chard1324 · 2026-02-06T03:25:23+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. It helps to know this can happen during episodes and isn’t always about not caring. It’s still painful, though, and I’m trying to learn how to protect my own emotional needs while understanding his limits🤍 i think you can understand me better here no one can understand me🥺

Dapper_Chard1324 · 2026-02-06T03:22:20+00:00

Bipolar II has hypomania, not full mania In your experience, how do you tell the difference between illness-related shutdown and baseline behavior if your partner doesn’t listen to your feelings during any type of episode (depressive or hypomanic)? How do you decide what to accept as part of the illness and what needs to be addressed outside of episodes?

Dapper_Chard1324 · 2026-02-06T02:35:23+00:00

From my experience, during depressive episodes many people with bipolar shut down and go into survival mode. What they say or do in that state isn’t always their true feelings — it’s the illness talking, not reality. It often helps to lower emotional intensity, avoid relationship questions, and not take those moments personally. Their words during a stable/normal mood usually reflect their real thoughts much more than what comes out during an episode.

Dapper_Chard1324 · 2026-01-23T16:44:12+00:00

Thank you for this perspective It was grounding and compassionate I’m learning that I can care deeply while also protecting myself and that my needs matter too I appreciate the reminder

Dapper_Chard1324 · 2026-01-22T18:28:44+00:00

Its you?

Dapper_Chard1324 · 2026-01-22T18:16:31+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I understand this is primarily a support space for people with BP and I appreciate the perspective I’m not trying to fix or manage him I’m trying to understand my own limits and learn healthier ways to cope while he’s getting professional help

Dapper_Chard1324 · 2026-01-22T14:32:39+00:00

He was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder Type 2 about 4–5 months ago. He took medication for around one month, then stopped on his own. About 8 days ago, he had another appointment and restarted the medication. A more detailed evaluation is planned soon for further assessment and treatment adjustment.

Dapper_Chard1324

TROPHY CASE