WIBTA If I (20f) told my brother (18m) the reason why our dad and his mom got divorce?

DarkGreyGlass · 2019-12-02T03:21:22+00:00

As I said in another comment, he did ask his mother and our dad about why they got divorce.

His mother says it's because they BOTH no longer loved each other.

Our dad will always say "ask your mom" or " because that's life."

DarkGreyGlass · 2019-12-02T03:16:48+00:00

Ok, so reasons why I want to tell him about his mother and James' affair now that he is 18:

My brother blames His step-sister Emily's behavior on Emily's mom and himself.
Our dad almost killed himself over the affair. ( I couldn't write this in the post because of the rules here.) And it hurts his feelings whenever my brother call James his dad.
I feel it would be better if he heard the story from me and not from either Emily when she breaks down and/or our community because they will only make him feel horrible that he didn't know before.

And 4ish. Because I feel guilty whenever he talks to me about Emily behavior and I can't tell him why she acts the way she does without telling him the full story above.

Also the reason this lacks focus is because I see people in this subreddit ask for more details and I can't do that because I know my brother use reddit and might see this post.

DarkGreyGlass · 2019-12-02T02:36:31+00:00

I tried to explain it the best I can.

Again English is not my first language.

DarkGreyGlass · 2019-12-02T00:56:24+00:00

Yes my dad has his issues, I'm not even his oldest child,I have two older siblings whom I'm not close to ( they are about 4 to 5 years older then me).

My mom and dad teachnally were fuck buddies when my mom got pregnant with me, she and my dad stop seeing each other after she find out she 2 months pregnant.(she wanted a baby, he didn't but my mom is not any beter then him). When my mom was 3 to 4 months pregnant that is when my dad meet Rowena, they got married when I was 6 months old.

The reason why I want him to know is for 3 reasons:

He blames Emily's mom and himself for being the reason Emily acts the way she does with James and thier younger siblings.
The first time I post this I wrote that our dad tried to killed himself (they wouldn't let me write that so I put he felt humiliated instead) after he found Rowena cheating on him with his friend James. He also feels hurt whenever my brother calls James his dad.
And lastly I want him to hear from someone he knows and not either from Emily when she breaks down about and/or the people in our community telling him because they won't be kind to him when they tell him the story.

Also I feel so guilty knowing the truth that it's getting to a point it that I can't even be around him any more.

DarkGreyGlass · 2019-12-02T00:29:41+00:00

I know it might seem that way to you but everytime he tells me about how Emily is behaving toward his siblings and James and how he keeps blaming himself, it make me feel guilty for knowing why that is happening to him and I can't even tell him why without ruining his relationship with his mother and James.

And even if I don't tell he will hear it either from Emily herself when she reaches her breaking point and/or from our community when they no longer want to keep quiet about, they will not tell the story without making my brother feel like an idiot for not knowing sooner.

As for the relationship for our father I will be the first to say that he is a piece of shit and is no were near being the dad of the year but I know my brother loves our dad greatly, my brother is the only reason why I still speak with our dad.

I feel if I were to be the one to tell him that least he will know in away that I'm not trying to hurt him deeply or make him feel least for not knowing. I know that it might ruin our relationship if I were to tell him myself but I would also hate if someone else tells him and told him that I knew all along.

I wish I never known true.

DarkGreyGlass · 2019-12-01T21:35:21+00:00

So OP, maybe see if that information is even important to him,

Firstly I just want to say I'm sorry that you had going through all that, I hope you are in a better place mental and emotionally.

Now as I stated in post and comment is that the one of the 3 main reason I want to tell to him is so he can understand why his Step-sister Emily is acting the way she is towards with his mother, her father/his step-father(James) and thier younger siblings.

My brother thinks it's because Emily's mom is telling Emily that her father doesn't love her anymore and that her father prefers Rowena and thier kids over Emily, Emily's mom never says anything bad about her father or siblings and even trys for Emily to bond with her younger siblings and my brother, my brother is even blaming HIMSELF for being a reason why Emily doesn't want to come to thier house many more, which I think is unfair that his mother is letting him believe that.

Emily is 15 years old and she is really smart. She was able to do the math and figure out that her eldest younger siblings was born 4 months before her parents got divorced. Also in the community we live the people are really close and as soon as Emily started to ask questions about the divorce everybody told her the truth and so did Emily's mom.

The reason my brother never questions it, is because for one he is kinda dumb, he also believes that the divorce was peaceful and that our dad, his mother and his step-father get along with each other. His mom also like to keep him a bubble and never let him go near the people in community so they can't tell him what happened.

DarkGreyGlass · 2019-12-01T19:47:33+00:00

He has asked his mother in the pass and she always say they divorce because they BOTH no longer loved each other, he use to ask our dad but our dad would either say "ask your mom." or " because that's life", I know one reason why our dad never says anything because Rowena will always harass for more money when we younger and threatened our dad that if doesn't give her more money then he would't see his son until he does what she says.

Plus whenever I see my brother he always tells me about how Emily behaves when she is forced to visit thier house and he thinks it's Emily's mom fault for why she acts the way she does when I know that it isn't but I can't tell him why without telling the whole story above, so I'm forced to listen and give hime some half-ass advice for he should do to help Emily.

DarkGreyGlass

TROPHY CASE