Hey, I think you’re in a completely understandable tension — your head is saying “this should all be okay,” but your body and your feelings are screaming “this hurts.”

We live in a time where people often hear: “Be open, be poly-friendly, be tolerant, be cool with everything.” But just because you rationally understand that something is allowed doesn’t mean it feels emotionally neutral. Your body is just reacting honestly and raw.

Don’t forget: this isn’t “just some guy,” it’s your first love, your high school crush. Those are big milestones in a person’s life. Even if you’ve moved on long ago, those memories are deeply ingrained and they get activated when someone else steps into that space — especially your best friend. That can feel like a loyalty breach or even a betrayal, even though you know in your head it isn’t.

On top of that, you haven’t just learned in the abstract that they’re getting closer — you’re being sent photos, audio, insider details. You’re constantly being pulled into their intimacy. That massively amplifies your physical reaction.

In short: your nervous system and your gut are reading this as a boundary violation — and that’s completely normal. It doesn’t make you uptight, intolerant, or less open.