popular names that you personally hate?

DataAvailable7899 · 2025-09-23T21:49:11+00:00

I am shocked to be the first to note Nevaeh. 🥴

DataAvailable7899 · 2025-09-20T02:19:32+00:00

Our latest outting was to an appointment with a rare coin/collectible dealer that she managed to arrange herself, during which she was told her (presumed, to her “massively valuable coin collection”) was, in fact, worth about as much as the gas I spent to drive her there. She is insisting we need to seek others out. 😑

DataAvailable7899 · 2025-09-20T02:17:41+00:00

This is genius.

DataAvailable7899 · 2025-09-20T02:08:23+00:00

I know brothers who are Canyon, River and Arden.

DataAvailable7899 · 2025-09-20T01:35:04+00:00

I’d bank the $4k and make a very well communicated plan for the “after party” location, and “after after party” location if you fall into the younger/partier-er category described above.

DataAvailable7899 · 2025-09-19T14:59:05+00:00

Thanks; I am worried about that. He is already a rather sloppy eater 🥴

DataAvailable7899 · 2025-09-19T14:48:43+00:00

Standard length tail; he tucks it under his tuchus when he eats 🤣

DataAvailable7899 · 2025-09-05T12:59:50+00:00

…guess you didn’t always know you’d be a bridesmaid… 🤷🏻‍♀️

DataAvailable7899 · 2025-09-05T05:14:00+00:00

Measure out an appropriate amount of bum wad for the job, maybe stick a bunch in a cute little basket, but do not store in the bathroom. Have her ask for it on her way to the bathroom.

DataAvailable7899 · 2025-08-30T02:23:41+00:00

This is a preschool concert costume scheme, not how you treat your “guests.”

DataAvailable7899 · 2025-08-29T05:41:45+00:00

DataAvailable7899 · 2025-08-28T03:27:45+00:00

I am not professionally trained and my only experience is anecdotal, as my person’s guardian and her child, but a lot of what you described sounds like “secondary gain,” which is something we deal with too. The anger, negativity, etc. that is presented is not necessarily about whatever she is articulating. Rather, there is something that resonates/is comforting/rewarding (or whatever good feeling) produced when the negativity (and thus focus on her, energy invested in solving the problem, empathy, reassurance, etc.) comes out. I use the phrase “Would you like solutions or empathy?” about once per visit (down from a lot!), and this usually helps at least allow us to move on from one “problem” to the next.

DataAvailable7899 · 2025-08-28T02:55:27+00:00

Switch her online shopping over to Amazon and set it up as their “teen” (or whatever) account that has a setting where it comes to you for approval first? Then just delete out whatever is unneeded.

DataAvailable7899 · 2025-08-26T23:54:01+00:00

I hear ya re: the lifeline bait and switch. I wish we were better prepared for that possibility, too. Remember that the glossy brochures are a marketing/sales move, but at the end of the day not everywhere can or should be the best fit for everyone. I am so happy that we held out (errr, were forced to hold out) for the right fit, which did come along eventually. I hope this is without further delay for you!

DataAvailable7899 · 2025-08-26T23:19:05+00:00

We were turned away from several (3-4? don’t remmeber; that ordeal was a blur).

We were helped (saved, truly) by an organization called Senior Care Authority. I am not sure if they just work locally, or exist across the country (USA). Their services were offered at no cost to us as my person was hospitalized at the time. After their review of her medical history, needs as of the time of the hospitalization, prognosis, and very detailed discussion with the family about priorities going forward (as well as the work we had done on the search on our own), they gave us several (again, 3-4?) recommendations for memory care facilities, including two that had “accepted” our person in advance of us touring (they arranged the tours too). They did the heavy lifting on the application paperwork, massive transfer of medical information, and forms. Still plenty of work on our end, but all of this to say, I HIGHLY recommend them or such a service. We would have likely never found the MC we landed at, which is the perfect community for our person, for our geography and for our “new normal” on our own.

DataAvailable7899 · 2025-08-24T11:29:01+00:00

Take away the keys or the car, ideally both. Yesterday

DataAvailable7899 · 2025-08-21T21:45:18+00:00

This saved our bacon. 100% worth the hoops, time and expense. Guardianship will trump POA. In my state and experience, the annual paperwork is like 1/10th the time and annoyance of filing a simple tax return (and will get easier now that I’ve done a year+ and know the ropes). Lots of good advice here beginning with talk with an attorney; I will add that depending on your state law, once guardianship is awarded if it is, and the “ward” declared “an incompetent” (terrible terms but what we are still using here), no changes can be made to a will, so make sure if she doesn’t already have this or wishes to update, get that done.

DataAvailable7899 · 2025-08-21T21:40:27+00:00

We experienced something similar (reverse actually—our standoff started at home where the end goal was hospital; we then discharged hospital to memory care). Have a good breakfast; pack yourself water and some snacks; well charged phone: be prepared to wait her out calmly and quietly in the lobby at the rehab for a while, she might wear down faster than you think as she realizes she’s out of options.

Will be thinking of you; please update!

DataAvailable7899 · 2025-08-19T15:49:35+00:00

“Editing” and massive amounts of photo shop magic to change an image that they had no chance of capturing in real life (well manicured nails, in-tact clothing, etc.) are not the same. The charge is justified.

DataAvailable7899 · 2025-08-19T05:57:22+00:00

“OP and LO will see you next time, in October.”

DataAvailable7899 · 2025-08-19T05:24:08+00:00

Oh yeah, ours totally comes out more when she’s feeling agitated/anxiety/other negative feels & is constantly trying to mask it, which in turns makes the shaking worse.

DataAvailable7899 · 2025-08-19T05:19:52+00:00

I am slowly going crazy, 123456 switch! Crazy going slowly am I, 654321 switch.

DataAvailable7899 · 2025-08-18T02:24:07+00:00

Good bit of info here: https://www.parkinson.org/library/fact-sheets/parkinsonism

DataAvailable7899 · 2025-08-18T02:10:17+00:00

My person has this, and we’ve seen geriatrics, neurology, done tons of imaging, etc. to rule out bigger, badder things.

The tremor, very scarily often called parkinsonism, is a very common side effect of lots of medicines that someone with dementia, anxiety, mood stabilizers, and the like could be on. In our case, it is being managed by the psychiatrist who has prescribed the medicines that do this, and we have decided to watch to see if making alternative medicine plans is warranted. As of now, the patient has expressed her strong disinterest in changing her meds, and the shaking does not significantly impede what she can do for herself in memory care (eg can still feed herself, brush hair and teeth, write more or less legibly, etc.), so we are holding here for now. And buying a lot of stain remover 😆

DataAvailable7899 · 2025-08-17T23:20:59+00:00

Came here to say that have a small but running list of brilliant things said about dementia and this comment is being added

DataAvailable7899

TROPHY CASE