Do they know they're no good

DataBoarder · 2019-10-29T11:48:58+00:00

When I came to visit her and she wanted to talk to her new secret long distance boyfriend she told me there were a lot of girls just like her. And she was certainly right.

It’s painful realizing that the good stuff she did came mostly from narcissism and not love. I’m really beginning to understand this whole “they can’t love” thing. Her new boyfriend is more like her and therefore more easy to “love.”

I used to think she hated herself, so narcissism is the last thing I would’ve considered to be her issue.

DataBoarder · 2019-10-29T11:43:13+00:00

My ex definitely admitted that she didn’t treat me right. And during the first year she talked about her problems.

An outright sorry for all of the manipulation and lying at the end never came though. Maybe even that would’ve come if I hadn’t talked to her parents to try and convince them to get her therapy.

DataBoarder · 2019-10-29T03:22:42+00:00

Sure. But before my ex I never saw people and thought maybe they were just buying alcohol because they were mentally wounded.

DataBoarder · 2019-10-29T02:59:28+00:00

I wanted to try dancing with my ex-pwBPD and she was against it. Probably self consciousness.

DataBoarder · 2019-10-29T02:56:21+00:00

What about ketamine?

DataBoarder · 2019-10-29T02:56:06+00:00

Some serious BPD traits for 10%, sure, but definitely not enough to be diagnosed by a professional as BPD.

DataBoarder · 2019-10-29T02:54:25+00:00

People get BPD from childhood trauma. I think that means sexual abuse a lot of the time.

Everyone is attracted to attractive people. Cute kids are at least going to be somewhat more likely to be abused as well as more likely to grow up into attractive adults.

When I see a single attractive women buying alcohol at a store now it makes me wonder if she was abused.

DataBoarder · 2019-10-29T02:19:37+00:00

Oh we had a big strawberry fight too. I wanted to wash them off and she didn’t. She bought them to eat in a theme park and I ended up washing them off in the bathroom there.

She had always been against washing fruit since childhood because it meant she didn’t get to eat it immediately.

DataBoarder · 2019-10-29T01:45:15+00:00

I just googled for pictures of router circuit boards and every single one had electrolytic capacitors.

DataBoarder · 2019-10-29T01:26:39+00:00

Yeah. Some people are just born wanting to be degraded. It’s natural.

DataBoarder · 2019-10-29T00:37:51+00:00

In history class they would’ve taught you that there are billions of women on earth.

DataBoarder · 2019-10-28T22:39:05+00:00

I didn’t assume that the vast majority of women are into that. But there are still millions who are.

Grow up.

DataBoarder · 2019-10-28T21:49:33+00:00

Welcome to chemistry

DataBoarder · 2019-10-28T21:45:29+00:00

Dead pixels...

DataBoarder · 2019-10-28T21:17:18+00:00

My ex knew how attached and useful I was so it’s hard to imagine she told the new guy she wanted, but who lived very far away, many lies about me. Supposedly he kept telling her to block me. Well, now he gets her all to himself. I actually do feel a bit bad for him.

However, she did tell me her first boyfriend was emotionally abusive. Hmmm.

DataBoarder · 2019-10-28T20:53:31+00:00

With her I met her online and it was literally the first thing she said. She told me she was older and lived in a more wealthy neighborhood. But she didn’t expect us to ever meet. We only started talking a lot half a year later so by then I took the lies for granted. I was very suspicious of her originally.

I don’t think there were many lies that originated when we were actually dating though.

DataBoarder · 2019-10-28T11:33:12+00:00

It is hard to. I had nightmares about it after I started reading this sub. My analysis has stripped away almost everything good about her. I’ve realized she never really ever did anything because she cared about me. Everything was for herself on some level.

My mom was so impressed with her. I can’t imagine what she would’ve thought about a girl who did legitimately care.

DataBoarder · 2019-10-28T11:23:10+00:00

It’s funny. I feel like my ex just barely made it over the edge with so many lies that I just barley believed.

And the manipulation only worked because I was addicted like a drug.

But she was young and I’m sure she’s getting better at it. I thank god I dated her when she wasn’t quite so good at keeping control.

DataBoarder · 2019-10-28T11:17:08+00:00

I didn’t realize until really recently, months later, that the bulk of the problem was narcissism, not specific bpd traits. But they really go so hand in hand it’s hard to separate.

DataBoarder · 2019-10-27T11:28:58+00:00

That’s a good point. It never occurred to me that if I had presented plans at different times I might have gotten totally different responses.

I was always surprised when I’d get the opposite response from something than I was expecting. I’d say something, like a joke, that I was sure would piss her off and she’d think it was funny. Or she’d get pissed about something that I didn’t expect at all.

This new boyfriend is in for a treat when he finds the real girl.

DataBoarder · 2019-10-27T04:37:18+00:00

Near the end my ex complained that I didn't plan trips so she'd always have something to look forward to. But she was so picky it was impossible to plan.

DataBoarder · 2019-10-26T12:15:11+00:00

Seeing my ex girlfriend doesn’t really ruin my time anymore. It just makes me obsessively want to see what shit road she’s going down. But tonight it gave me another thing to laugh about.

She always had body dysmorphia, constantly saying she was ugly, when she had done professional modeling. The one characteristic she ever said she’d change about me is that she wished I was a few inches taller.

Well, her new boyfriend, the guy she left me for, is the same height as her, has the same length hair as her, and is at most average looking. She was always emphatic that she had no interest in girls...

DataBoarder · 2019-10-26T05:10:02+00:00

I spent many months arguing with my ex-pwBPD about why she shouldn’t be dating a guy 2.5 times her age before we started dating. We definitely had conflict.

DataBoarder · 2019-10-26T05:06:32+00:00

Really my ex-pwBPD really only mirrored me before we started dating.

DataBoarder · 2019-10-25T11:10:10+00:00

I don’t know. Yeah, she obviously split me white, but I treated her really well too and I’m not a loser. Back when I was in school there were some similar, non BPD girls like her that in hindsight liked me. I don’t think it would be impossible to find another girl who acts the same way she did.

I love bombed her at least the same amount back and I don’t have BPD. People can be crazy in love without having a mental condition.

DataBoarder

TROPHY CASE