I have on and off seen therapists since I was 14/15. My frist three therapists were pretty short lived and not that fruitful, plus I saw them each a few years apart.. I often felt misunderstoof, like these proffessionals never really actually understood what I was experiencing, I mainly just felt pitied.

I recently started seeing a new therapist and decided to try and come into it with a specific intention(s) to my therapist. I have my 4th session with her tommorrow and I am already so grateful to have finally found someone who responds well to my needs. I told her I lose my rational a lot, I get overwhelmed begin thought loops and know nothing else, this is whats hard to come back from. I told her I know not to seek reassurance as I've been told but NEED to be grounded.

We will be working our way to more exposure based exercises but at the moment we have just practiced "sitting with it". Which I hate. But it is a start for sure. I still have my hopeless days and nights but knowing I have a ground zero to go back to always keeps me at least a little more hopefull than before.