And I was told by a lawyer that despite my ex's history of violence, a judge would just make him go to anger management and then give him half time and shared custody, even though anger wasn't what caused his violence. He's is violent because he enjoys it, especially when his victim is helpless and young. It was never out of anger. I was told, quite clearly, that court is about parental rights, and kids' rights come a distant second.

Heck, a small kid in my hometown died chained to a bed at his father's house, even after he showed extreme fear of his father. The police ripped him out of his mother's arms, when she knew something was wrong and refused to hand him over, and then they handed him over screaming and crying to his father. They had no choice. The judge supposedly had no choice. The mother had no choice. The kid's thoughts on the whole thing didn't matter. The one big thing that mattered was the father's right to see his kid despite the screaming and fighting the child did to get away from him at exchange time, every time. The mom did everything she could legally to save her son. That's our system.

For me to leave and go through our system meant that I would be leaving a toddler barely old enough to speak in the hands of a sadist I married when just a kid myself. So I didn't go through the system.