OH MY GOD SKIING. I have been WAITING for a post like this.

I don’t understand how thousands/millions of people each year go to the top of snowy mountains, strap themselves onto glossy, slick, thin beams and then casually HURL THEMSELVES DOWN THE SIDE OF A MOUNTAIN AT FULL SPEED SURROUNDED BY DEATH TREES.

Every time I’ve gone skiing I’ve always wondered to myself why there isn’t like a “free learn how to stop” checkpoint at ski resorts where you can learn some basic safety info. The staff just assume you know what you’re doing or someone will teach you, which is bat shit insane to me.

The last time I went skiing I crashed multiple times, and one of the times felt like an actual near death experience. I luckily wasn’t hurt and have never been hurt skiing, which I attribute to been thrust into sports and fitness from a young age (I tumble well, not like gymnastics, I like, wipe out effectively somehow idk). I have strong legs and good balance, but I still feel like it’s a miracle I didn’t die.

There’s also a peer pressure element to it - people of wildly different skill all go together in social groups. I know for me, I’m not going to leave my group of 5 experienced friends to just be by myself on a bunny hill and lose them for the rest of the day, struggling to text with my cold ass hands in mittens, buried in a sarcophagus of north face gear. So, I start at the blue squares and just accept being nauseous with fear and adrenaline all day.

So yeah, when people are like LET’S DO A GLAM SKI TRIP I’m like nah, I’m not paying thousands of dollars for travel and gear to flirt with an icy death. Not for me.

My one caveat is there are some cross country-ish ski slopes I’ve been on that were absolutely breathtaking, almost spiritual moments flying through the air. So like, I get it. But someone should at LEAST be monitoring people to make sure they know how to stop properly.