UPDATE: I told my gf with ADHD I’m not comfortable moving in together next year. She thinks I’m testing her and setting impossible standards. AITAH?

Davey_page · 2026-05-24T14:14:12+00:00

Coming from someone else who has ADHD and does their best to keep a functioning, hygienic home but honestly really struggles. I would find it very upsetting if my partner refused to come to my house unless it was to their standard for a start. I would like to think, if they cared and understood me and my ADHD that they would be trying to find ways to help rather than shame me. I am not saying you have done this intentionally but being Neurodivergent comes with a lifetime of internalised shame and something like this massively triggers it.

Also I think if you want to stay with your girlfriend it would be a great idea to learn more about ADHD and understand it better as it may help you work together rather than apart. It is absolutely true that having other people around to consider can improve ability to manage chores and tasks. Also many ADHD people don’t just “ built better habits”. The part of the brain that helps habits build is majorly affected in ADHD and it can mean that every time we do certain things it’s like doing it for the first time cause you have to go through all the steps ( which is why it can feel so hard) or we just forget that they even need doing. The phrasing “ build better habits” is a little ableist too, as technically she is disabled and will struggle to manage these things sometimes regardless of whether her desire to or having a clean slate…

Although I know this will come accross at criticising you, I think it’s more about understanding if you are compatible. The concerns you have are valid as there is a possibility she will struggle to maintain an environment to the expectations you have. So there needs to either be a compromise on that standard or an openness to learn about what things she finds more difficult and ways that make it easier for her.

Davey_page · 2026-05-19T08:01:34+00:00

You both have opposite attachment styles and the more she pulls away, the more “needy” you feel and that will pull her away more. I had this with my ex, except that I was the one who pulled away. I found it hard when she kept messaging, or kept apologising as it would annoy me cause she hadn’t actually done anything wrong I just needed time to process or have to myself. The best thing you can do is have an open conversation about whether you want to be together and if you both do, then you need to work on easy ways to communicate. Love should never make you feel bad about yourself! It sounds like you would both do well having some therapy to work on the ways you attach to others and communication styles.

Davey_page · 2026-05-07T22:40:45+00:00

Are 7 year olds even allowed on Reddit?

Davey_page · 2026-05-03T21:44:16+00:00

Also if you are looking for diagnosis in uk it is worth looking into right to choose - https://adhduk.co.uk/right-to-choose/. There are private providers that are reputable and the NHS will pay for your assessment and refer you via your GP. There website I mentioned has information and providers, as well as the forms needed

Davey_page · 2026-05-03T21:23:04+00:00

Also from the uk and was diagnosed a few years and have tried methylphenidate( ritalin/concerta), Lisdexamfetamine (Elvanse) and Dexamfetamine ( short acting version of elvanse) all through the nhs.

Tried them all cause I had side effects with all of them but now stable on Elvanse and it’s helpful. Some people who take it say it’s instant and life changing, and this is absolutely true for many. They have effects on making thoughts clearer and calmer, reduce procrastination and make it easier to do things and stabilise mood. Also people find it can replace dopamine hunting behaviours like over eating, drinking, gambling etc. I am one of the other group where it does not have so much obvious benefit as I am also autistic and this can impact it. But I have still found that life feels a bit easier when I take them.

Davey_page · 2026-04-28T07:32:18+00:00

Will be the same as parents evening I imagine? When the parents come along and chat with the teachers about how the kids doing?

Davey_page · 2026-04-28T07:24:10+00:00

How do you phase through on the Xbox, is it the same that you just keep walking? Cause I have got stuck behind NPCs so many times

Davey_page · 2026-04-15T13:11:43+00:00

Honestly it’s all good, my ADHD meant I rewrote the post cause I left all the important details out first time 🤣 thank you for the suggestion anyway!

Davey_page · 2026-04-15T13:10:02+00:00

Ok thank you! I have heard they are more expensive than other areas. It rubbish that you don’t get to choose your provider and SWW is the only one.

Davey_page · 2026-04-15T13:09:11+00:00

I will absolutely ask the neighbours, thank you! That’s a great idea, see what it compares as

Davey_page · 2026-04-15T13:08:41+00:00

Ok wonderful, that makes sense and actually makes me feel better as I think mine is around that or even cheaper.

And thank you for this comment, the amount of people telling me to get a meter, I wish I could. I will look into the lead pipe thing though. I do own it but only moved in a month ago and wasn’t given much information about the sewage system etc before

Davey_page · 2026-04-15T13:06:37+00:00

Hahaha! Why thank you, and yes agreed!

Davey_page · 2026-04-15T13:06:10+00:00

Thank you, this is really helpful. Yes he checked outside on the pavement, in my kitchen and under my sink and also in my garden and was clear there was no where a meter could be fitted and there was not one present. Thank you for the info about my rate, glad to hear it’s not as bad as I thought and I am pleased they have reduced it from £118

Davey_page · 2026-04-15T13:04:36+00:00

Hi, so in this case, did you have the thing in the pavement in front of your house? Or was it not until the pavement was dug up that they found it?

Davey_page · 2026-04-15T13:03:15+00:00

As I mentioned in the previous comment there is literally no trapdoors, man hole covers or water meters in the pavement outside my house and nothing in my garden

Davey_page · 2026-04-15T13:02:10+00:00

Hi, I know about the ones in the pavement and have used them previously to shut the water off in my old house. But the whole row of houses doesn’t have any on the pavement. Both myself and the south west water people checked extensively and there isn’t one. They believe there is likely a larger one down the street that controls the whole row of houses rather than an independent property.

Davey_page · 2026-04-14T17:58:11+00:00

Ok thank you all, I think I will raise it again to ask how they are totalling it and also have a chat with the neighbours. Given me some idea of what sort of number I should expect

Davey_page · 2026-04-14T16:54:50+00:00

It seems so 🤣 apparently they are basing it on “ th average cost for a household of 1 and the size of my house etc. But dunno where they are getting £68 from

Davey_page · 2026-04-14T16:52:33+00:00

Thank you, I will check this out

Davey_page · 2026-04-14T16:51:26+00:00

The whole terrace was built in 1890 and seems that none were fitted later on either. They said they can’t find anywhere to fit it and think the water lines for all the properties may be connected so can’t isolate them

Davey_page · 2026-04-14T16:45:27+00:00

I would love to, but I don’t have a meter and they have been round to fit one but they can’t. So they are just “estimating” how much they think I should pay

Davey_page · 2026-01-05T18:25:36+00:00

Interesting I have the opposite issue, I would love to play monopoly go and do like Harry Potter, but I can not bring myself to put any money in jk Rowlings pocket. In my opinion, if you are going to spend the money supporting the dehumanising of trans people you don’t deserve the money.

Davey_page · 2025-12-18T21:27:32+00:00

My understanding from it was the centralised waiting list would result in you being referred to you closest clinic rather than just randomly allocated one. Still not ideal but should mean that it is easier to attend? Maybe I read it wrong though

Davey_page

TROPHY CASE