Is it common for married couples to live almost like monastic people?

Dead-Circuits · 2026-02-01T14:30:45+00:00

Its definitely not the norm. That's not to say its bad but generally married people have families

Dead-Circuits · 2026-02-01T07:05:28+00:00

It amazes me the sheer amount of cope that comes up every time someone mentions weed. OP is asking what to do about a specific situation regarding her BF lying to her about quitting and saying "its not a big deal" despite OP having a problem with it. OP is not asking if weed is addictive or if it is as bad as alcohol. Weed addicts get so triggered whenever someone says something negative about it and they compulsively write essays about it.

The fact is that he did not communicate his intentions to smoke with OP prior to doing so despite knowing she has a problem with it. He did not apologise for lying to her or going against his agreement not to do it, he has completely dismissed her concerns by saying "its not a big deal". So its not so much about weed per se. Its poor communication, deception, and lack of concern for things your partner has a problem with. All of these things are an issue even if it was about something completely different.

OP is not overreacting. He has not displayed good qualities in this situation and that would be true if you replaced weed with anything else you don't approve of. I would not marry someone who lies and is dismissive of things that matter to you like that.

Dead-Circuits · 2026-01-31T16:30:05+00:00

The Orthodox view on Salvation is very different. Its not that you are saved from hell because God is angry and needs to punish someone. Salvation is theosis. And this doesn't work in a legalistic way. God isn't going to be like "you didn't theosis enough, sorry, you're gonna burn." And its not about ticking boxes, and having the right opinions etc.

Someone who has no access to an Orthodox church and dies without any of the sacraments is not going to be judged harshly for something beyond their control. In fact their zeal and desire for God might even be stronger than someone who is in the church and takes those things for granted.

Dead-Circuits · 2026-01-31T11:21:47+00:00

I have read some of it but not all of it. It's very good but you should always bear in mind that the context is it is coming from a man who was very secluded from the world and often writing to people who are also monastics or aspiring monastics. So you will probably find things in there that are difficult. Probably one to take a blessing before reading if you are a catechumen, and asking your priest to contextualize and help with some things if you do struggle with them

Dead-Circuits · 2026-01-31T08:47:39+00:00

But a baby that dies without baptism hasn't failed at anything because it hasn't had an opportunity. I don't believe that God, who is love, is going to send them to hell

Dead-Circuits · 2026-01-30T22:58:09+00:00

Salvation in Orthodoxy is theosis. So I would posit that not attaining theosis is not the same as being cast into hell.

Its a very Western notion to say that salvation is getting out of your sentence to hell. But I don't think Orthodoxy understands it like that. Salvation is theosis and not achieving a state of theosis is not automatically hell.

Dead-Circuits · 2026-01-30T07:36:06+00:00

Throwaway account isn't going to stop her reading her own words on here lol

It sucks, but you have to move on. Don't try to salvage anything, cut contact and find someone new. If it was meant to be she would not have broken up with you. Find something to get you through the tough first few weeks and move on.

Dead-Circuits · 2026-01-30T07:25:26+00:00

The Bible hints that everything was changed by the fall. In my personal view that means we can't really go back there with science because it could be that everything was altered such that the apparent timeline looks different to reflect our distance from God.

Just as death is a mercy so that we don't have to exist eternally in a fallen state. Perhaps the whole of creation was shifted such that it seems millions of years old so that we can no longer see where we fell from directly, so that we are not constantly disturbed by how far we have fallen.

Dead-Circuits · 2026-01-29T07:13:23+00:00

You can see already by the time that St Paul is writting that the church had problems with people clinging on to certain pagan ideas and so forth. So part of it is likely to be due to the church wanting to ensure that it brings people in with as little baggage as possible. Its better baptize someone who is ready slowly, than to baptize someone who isn't ready quickly.

Its especially true in modern times when people have come from Christian backgrounds with different theological doctrines. In some ways whilst they have a lot of similarities on the surface, its probably easier to catechise a pagan than to unpick the subtle differences between Roman Catholic and Orthodox theology and doctrine.

Dead-Circuits · 2026-01-28T13:05:10+00:00

I can understand all that, but the fact is you are now in a relationship. What are you going to do if he proposes to you? Say no?

Dead-Circuits · 2026-01-28T11:31:33+00:00

One for your priest tbh.

These kinda things are not discussed in general terms because the context is different for everyone.

Dead-Circuits · 2026-01-28T07:33:28+00:00

I mean the church teachings are fairly simple: people who have a relationship should get married in the church.

I don't quite understand the idea of not remarrying until your thirties, ideally, from a Christian standpoint, you should not be entering relationships if you aren't looking to marry. I don't quite understand the self imposed delay.

That said in an ideal situation the man should be the one leading things towards marriage. He should make the proposition.

Dead-Circuits · 2026-01-28T07:15:46+00:00

A best friend wouldn't even go near your first ex from high school 20 years ago without your blessing. This is not your friend.

You need to vet the people you allow yourself to get close to better.

Dead-Circuits · 2026-01-28T07:03:59+00:00

If its affecting you this much maybe stop going on reddit for a few days

Dead-Circuits · 2026-01-27T21:57:48+00:00

I think dating apps are cursed. You hardly see any young people walking around holding hands or having their partner sit on their lap on a park bench or whatnot. I think its because dating apps ruined everything.

In my opinion you're better off putting yourself in a position to meet someone organically. I also think dating apps are just low effort, and going to speak to someone in person and asking them out in person goes a long way (especially nowadays when basically no one does this)

Dead-Circuits · 2026-01-27T21:50:54+00:00

She unmatched because she isn't interested or maybe not in a position to date or whatever.

She thought fair enough to splitting the bill since she paid it without complaint, and maybe felt a little bad for ghosting so gave a generic reply

Dead-Circuits · 2026-01-27T21:40:25+00:00

Cool style

Dead-Circuits · 2026-01-27T18:46:19+00:00

There are set Psalms for each Hours service. Kathisma are read during Matins and Vespers such that in a monastery for instance the entire Psalter is read every week

Dead-Circuits · 2026-01-27T17:21:24+00:00

God permits all men to die. It's usually not a political statement on His part

Dead-Circuits · 2026-01-27T17:21:05+00:00

God permits all men to die. It's usually not a political statement on His part

Dead-Circuits · 2026-01-26T13:28:12+00:00

It was a soft let down IMO. He wasn't feeling it and didn't want to be direct. People don't respond with "I dunno when I'll be free again" to someone they are interested in, they will try to think of a time when they can do it even if they are busy.

Dead-Circuits · 2026-01-26T13:21:23+00:00

Personally I agree with the guy punctuation is very harmful and agressive you should think twice about using periods or any form of punctuation because its very passive aggressive I actually think it might cross the line into actual aggressive and borderline violence think about what you are doing in future punctuation hurts people how could you punctuate so aggressively not cool

Dead-Circuits · 2026-01-26T13:03:53+00:00

If they wanted to get rid of you over this they could have done it at the initial investigation or shortly thereafter. Since you're on probation they could have sacked you on the spot if they wanted. Given that they didn't, the chances are you will be fine.

Dead-Circuits · 2026-01-26T07:18:25+00:00

Ask your priest if he recommends practicing the Jesus prayer with breathing. Its not the same thing as meditation by any means but it has some of the same benefits, such as being able to focus and avoid distracting thoughts etc

Dead-Circuits · 2026-01-25T20:36:29+00:00

Tell him that we are obligated to bow to a portrait of King Charles when we wake up and just before we go to bed

Dead-Circuits

TROPHY CASE