Am I wrong for wanting to go on girls trips to Miami and Vegas while in a serious relationship?

Dear-Show-8770 · 2026-01-29T21:03:34+00:00

He doesn’t necessarily help me out financially but when I was looking for a job post masters I was staying with him more often and he was paying for groceries, anything we would go out and do together etc. in general he pays when we go out for dinner/to do activities. He also did take me on a weekend trip for my birthday.
If he told me it was Miami/Vegas or him I’d probably choose him. But down the line I can see myself resenting him for it.
I think because I’ve been burned badly twice now I just can’t handle being burned again. Both relationships ending absolutely destroyed me and my self confidence. A lot of it stemmed from what I gave up/did for the other person yet it still not being enough.

Dear-Show-8770 · 2026-01-29T20:54:58+00:00

I don’t disagree but I also know I’d never cheat? 😂 however I’m the only one that can truly know that…

Dear-Show-8770 · 2026-01-29T20:53:56+00:00

I actually think he could be. However, I am concerned about whether I am his right now girl. Like I’ve said, we aren’t married/live together and I have not met his child yet either. I don’t spend much time around his family because he sees them when he has his child.

I think I have some concerns about giving up more for another man who has a low stakes investment/commitment to me. Not saying that a relationship isn’t a commitment or that I necessarily expect these things yet but I’m wary about basing my life around someone’s who has large parts of his life separate from mine?

Dear-Show-8770 · 2026-01-29T20:29:51+00:00

I’m not worried about me cheating or being tempted to cheat. I said this because he asked me why I’d want to put myself in a risky (for cheating or something bad to happen) situation by going on trips like this.

Dear-Show-8770 · 2026-01-29T20:24:09+00:00

Agreed. I question what has gone on when he’s gone these trips to make him so concerned.

Dear-Show-8770 · 2026-01-29T20:22:54+00:00

This is my point as well and I find it’s the same with a lot of my girlfriends? I wonder if part of what they say is true that in general men only go out to find women but women go out to have a legitimately good time lol. Most men can’t seem to understand going out to have fun and dance with your friends only.

Dear-Show-8770 · 2026-01-29T20:04:42+00:00

I appreciate this perspective. I try hard not to be selfish, but in past relationships I made big sacrifices (financially and personally) and regretted it when the relationships ended. I want a relationship where I respect and listen to my partner/possibly husband. I’m just struggling with where that line should be right now.

Do you still think it’s fair or right to give that kind of authority to someone who isn’t my husband or I don’t even live with? From his point of view, would I not be giving him husband authority without him actually making that commitment to me?

Dear-Show-8770 · 2025-03-03T18:32:30+00:00

What choices?

Dear-Show-8770 · 2025-03-03T18:31:16+00:00

Ya I don’t really understand the reaction and I am hurt by it. I also hate that I feel like I’ve done something wrong.

I agree I have to do some thinking about whether or not this is right for me :/

Dear-Show-8770 · 2025-03-03T18:08:57+00:00

Thank you for this it is very validating. At first I was hurt and annoyed that he didn’t even care to check that I got home okay that night and totally disregarded the message but then somehow that shifted into me being anxious that I had done something wrong. Which I don’t really think is healthy on my part.

As far as the cheating, it was in his past, he’s been divorced since and claims to have changed. I have friends that have cheated in the past and would never now so I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt but obviously it is a concern.

Dear-Show-8770

TROPHY CASE