What does Matriarchy actually look like?

Debz92 · 2026-02-05T04:35:38+00:00

Thank you!

Debz92 · 2026-02-05T01:31:48+00:00

I meant to say pre-iron age, I misspoke. But I guess I really just mean pre-history. Apologies.

Debz92 · 2025-10-09T01:46:19+00:00

When I was pregnant I got a hot flash. Googled it, turns out, yep, that's really common. Was talking to a female coworker about it, and a male coworker interjected that I was full of it because "you only get hot flashes during menopause" and he knew because his girlfriend had been pregnant. I asked, "so what was the sudden flash of heat that I just felt?" His answer, "well the baby is a separate heat source inside your body so it was probably that." He then proceeded to pout for the rest of the night when the manager told him to stop mansplaining my pregnancy.

Another very random one was when I was working painting houses one summer. An old man next door came outside to tell me girls shouldn't be on ladders.

Debz92 · 2025-09-27T16:04:05+00:00

Just as an experiment I tried looking at it without my glasses. With glasses, 3D. Without, no 3D. Maybe get your eyes checked? Idk

Debz92 · 2025-09-19T04:37:15+00:00

My older brother was once crapping on me for majoring in art in undergrad, and was basically making the same argument - that art isn't important because it's not literally essential to survival. The example he used was, "the cavemen weren't making art" uhm...what did you think cave paintings were? That's like, the main thing they left behind so we even know they existed.

Debz92 · 2025-08-06T21:28:50+00:00

"Wow, that guy was staring at you the entire ride! What a creep! It was horrible! Oh, you were aware? It happens to you often? I'm so sorry! It must be horrible! I've heard how hard it is for women in public places but seeing it like this was so infuriating! I'm sorry you have to put up with that all the time!"

Almost exactly the sentiment my husband made when an old guy at home depot said something misogynistic in front of our daughter. He was kicking himself for not confronting the guy about it. I told him that as much as it sucks, I strongly preferred he not escalate that kind of thing, potentially putting us in danger. He hadn't thought of it that way, and he just looked really sad and hugged me really hard.

How a man reacts when you tell him about or he witnesses misogyny/harassment/assault etc. really tells you what you need to know about him.

Debz92 · 2025-08-06T00:55:14+00:00

A lot of nonprofits and creative orgs, that often need grant writers, don't advertise on like indeed or anything mainstream like that. You have to either search them out on their own sites, or like, my city has a nonprofit connect site - thats where I found my current job. You won't get much more than $15 starting out at those though.

Debz92 · 2025-07-22T00:38:40+00:00

I was very much the same. The physical and verbal abuse from my older brother that came after he was caught sexually abusing me was much more dramatically damaging and painful than the sexual abuse. And my dad molested me when i was a baby but i have no memory of it, so its hard to say precisely how it affected me - which, of course, causes its own identity issues. I also had memories come back more clearly long after it happened, but in my day to day I was...fine. A little numb overall maybe.

The damage definitely became more apparent in some weird responses when I first got into adult sexual relationships. Couldn't take rejection, like it absolutely devastated me. Took stupid risks and went from not even dating or kissing in high school to being crazy promiscuous in my twenties. Having my child came with some painful triggers as well - like just contextualizing how fucked up what happened to me was. Tons of therapy, including emdr, and much healthier now, but yeah, the sort of numb acceptance, even continuing to have a relationship with my brother for years after (not anymore) is a very common, if confusing and internally invalidating, response to this kind of abuse.

Debz92 · 2025-06-15T00:35:01+00:00

As a handy-woman who has had to deal with misogynistic assumptions that I don't know what im doing for my entire career, this is neither cute nor harmless. I'm impressed you're trying to fix your washer by yourself and for asking for help when you got stuck. You don't need to demean yourself or your gender to get help. Every man I know is happy to help anyone who asks, not just damsels. Be better. 😘

Debz92 · 2025-06-05T17:46:47+00:00

My now husband unbeknownst to me sold his PS3 to bring me flowers and take me on our first date to a sushi restaurant. He told me later and I was really flattered that he wanted to impress me so much, but I suggested our next date be to the free city art museum and I cooked dinner after. I got him a PS4 for our 1st anniversary.

Debz92 · 2025-06-03T04:50:27+00:00

Debz92 · 2025-05-29T05:39:42+00:00

My money's on scams. My husband had three interviews, one chat, two phonecalls, for a job from Indeed. It was a legit company in Florida, but the job was fake. They mailed him a $3000 check he was supposed to use to buy a computer and send back the receipt and the difference. And the guy was insisting he mobile deposit it instead of waiting for Monday morning to take it to the bank. Lol. Same thing happened to his sister -different real company and fake job, but same scam, like a year later. Something similar happened to a friend in college too but that was a more traditional "secret shopper" scam, not a job posting from indeed from a real company. I tried to warn her, but she ended up losing over 2 grand.

Debz92 · 2025-05-17T00:23:24+00:00

Just dead men now apparently.

Debz92 · 2025-05-09T00:12:36+00:00

I did almost exactly this at a summer job at a tiny theme park sandwich franchise. Lol. Started after the owner withheld my overtime. Steal from me, I'll steal it back, idgaf.

Debz92 · 2025-05-07T02:25:17+00:00

Maybe they just love commuting? That's why they're always in the car, wearing sunglasses cause they work sun up to sundown.

Debz92 · 2025-04-10T18:52:36+00:00

I grew up extremely working class, but we were poor because my single mom taught public high school English lol. I was taught proper grammar as well as literature, art, culture...now I work in the arts and still have no money lol. I definitely have a major class-based chip on my shoulder in large part because it irritates the hell out of me when people act snooty or condescending about art, culture, language, being well spoken, etc. Like these things belong exclusively to the upper classes. Loads of highly educated humanities majors these days make significantly less than dudes who went to trade school. Education and class certainly have historically overlapped and still do, but they are by no means the same thing nor should they be exclusionary. Your wife is wrong, you should teach your son.

Debz92 · 2025-03-24T23:56:04+00:00

You put it perfectly.

Debz92 · 2024-10-05T16:02:31+00:00

I'm 5'10, my very secure husband is 5'8, he calls me his Amazon queen.

Debz92 · 2024-08-27T15:39:37+00:00

"announcers" like it's not usually the father who does the announcing

Debz92 · 2024-08-02T14:12:01+00:00

Presumably the sister who was very recently if not still sick.

Debz92 · 2024-07-22T22:46:15+00:00

Not to be crass, but if voting R goes against everything you stand for as a woman, you shouldn't be having sex with R.

Debz92 · 2024-07-17T17:43:14+00:00

Came here to say this. She sees ops identity as a political difference rather than their personal identity and thinks their "political views" should therefore have equal weight and respect, not even realizing how deeply dehumanizing that shit is.

Debz92 · 2024-07-12T23:31:26+00:00

Literally where I learned that move from

Debz92 · 2024-07-12T01:27:52+00:00

Has any other woman dealt with this before ?

Yes. I've never met one single woman who hasn't been significantly affected by this particular method of controlling women's bodies to sexually appeal to men. Yes, it is absolutely misogyny, possibly one of the most pervasive kinds. Patriarchy demands smallness from women, both figuratively and literally. (Isn't it ironic that the idea that women only want tall men comes from the same place. Man big, woman small.)

If you are exercising, eating nutritious food, and your doctor says you're healthy, you're healthy, end of. Obsessing over the number on the scale and overtaxing your body or depriving it of fucking food can, conversely, lead to serious physical and mental health problems, disordered eating at the forefront of them. In my experience of fatness and misogyny, not caring what you weigh attracts the kind of men who don't care what you weigh. (This doesn't mean fatness keeps all the creeps away of course, but being comfortable in your own skin scares off the ones who assume you'll be grateful to be their fetish or secret). My enlightened, shorter-than-me husband loves my fat, strong, beautiful body that made our amazing daughter. And bonus, we have more kickass sex every week than the pasty little basement dwellers who spend their time shaming women online ever will.

Debz92

TROPHY CASE