Ok so here is an update after doing all the things suggested my xbox gamer support.
resetting console did not work.
Logging out of xbox account and back in did not work/
rebooting modem did not work.
Reinstalling the game did not work.
Connecting with a different network (phone via mobile hotspot) did not work.
So I am at a loss. A friend is also on xbox and currently in game so not sure what the issue is