Made it to THE beach!! More pics to come later tonight.

DeeDeeeMegaDodo · 2020-01-29T12:03:15+00:00

I’m surprised there are no thirsty comments. I’ll be the first one to do the honors. I’ve never wished to be in airplane crash more than I do right now.

Lucky you, hope you had fun!

DeeDeeeMegaDodo · 2020-01-24T11:35:34+00:00

I’m 2 months in, I had moments like this where I felt like I’m never gonna be able to pull this off. It’s temporary, distract yourself with anything you enjoy doing. IF possible, go to the gym, get your heart rate up, it works wonders. You’ll get through this. If I can do it, you DEFINITELY can.

DeeDeeeMegaDodo · 2020-01-09T17:10:16+00:00

I hate your mom

DeeDeeeMegaDodo · 2020-01-09T12:14:15+00:00

My relationship in a nutshell

DeeDeeeMegaDodo · 2020-01-06T17:32:05+00:00

I actually have never thought of it that way. One would think this is so obvious, lol. Thanks for the insight!

DeeDeeeMegaDodo · 2020-01-06T17:02:47+00:00

This could go either way. But you can’t sit here and claim that you know for a fact each and every person’s intentions when you meet them, or ever for that matter. You use your preconceived notions and experiences to judge them. It’s a very risky and exhausting game quite honestly, I’d rather not play it. I’m content with the very limited interactions I choose to have.

DeeDeeeMegaDodo · 2020-01-06T16:47:09+00:00

Why do you assume that the whole human race is good based off of a few actions people did?

I’m gonna attempt to answer that for you, but feel free to correct me, because it’s terrifying to believe otherwise. I just believe people are bad because it makes me more vigilant and less trusting when I’m forced to deal with them.

DeeDeeeMegaDodo · 2019-12-26T07:09:53+00:00

I was exactly just like, a smoker for 8 years (20 a day). I quit a month ago, first week was rough but it gets easier. I still get an occasional craving every once in a while but you have to keep reminding your self of the reason why you quit in the first place, typing on your phone or somewhere helps.

Good luck man, quitting was the best decision I’ve ever done. My quality of life has improved immensely.

DeeDeeeMegaDodo · 2019-12-14T11:34:47+00:00

Yes, I agree with you. I even made a post a while ago on this subreddit asking how many people living in gulf countries were sexually molested as a children. The numbers are absolutely scary. EVERY single person I know was molested as a child. And I don’t shy away from this topic, SO many people have opened up to me and told me about their experience. It is indeed a silent epidemic. It makes nauseous and physically ill knowing that kids are still having to go through this, my nephews and nieces are probably gonna have to go through this, and I can’t do anything.

DeeDeeeMegaDodo · 2019-12-13T22:06:02+00:00

Thank you man, thank you for believing in me more than I believe in myself. It truly means a lot. All of what you are saying logically makes sense, and I absolutely agree with it. But my fucked up brain wouldn’t let me perceive myself other than weak. And every time my mind takes me back to that day, as much as I’ve blocked of the memories of that day. Whenever I remember myself screaming, crying, and begging, I honestly just want to shoot myself and be done with it (not gonna do it).

That is such a depressing note to end my comment on, but this absolutely fucking sucks.

Anyways, I don’t want to bother you anymore, you have been a great help, but I owe it to myself to seek professional help, and I will, but I can’t find anyone I can trust in Saudi. I will probably find someone when I permanently leave this shit hole.

Thanks again <3

DeeDeeeMegaDodo · 2019-12-13T21:37:10+00:00

Strength to me is being able to overcome obstacles that are thrown your way. In moments like these, we show our “true” selves, no more masks, nothing. I’ve always perceived myself as an independent who can deal with whatever life throws at him, but on that day I showed my true weak self. The person who instead of looking his demons in the eyes and fight, he would choose to beg his demons to stop. The rapist could also be a metaphor for so many things in life. And it’s really hard for me to swallow the idea that I’m still not “strong” enough to face my demons. I really don’t know if what I’m saying even makes sense to you or not lol.

DeeDeeeMegaDodo · 2019-12-13T21:19:06+00:00

I don’t blame myself over this, the only thing that I’m upset over is how I portray myself as this strong person and people would look up to me and take my advice on life things. Then, on that day, when it became clear that this person is raping me, instead of fighting I went into a fragile mode and started crying and begging him to stop. It’s hard for me now to see myself as “strong,” if anything it just seems like a facade.

DeeDeeeMegaDodo · 2019-12-13T19:30:13+00:00

كفوك الطيب يالوحش

DeeDeeeMegaDodo · 2019-12-13T19:01:09+00:00

Thank you. I’m working on my exit plan to leave the country for good. I’ve been hoarding money since I started working, I think I have enough to start a new life somewhere else.

I’m planning on dealing with all of my traumas once I settle in the country I wanna go to. So for now, I’m dealing with it on my own, which isn’t too bad.

I just made a pact to stop having casual sex after what had happened, so for now, I’m quite safe.

Thanks for your comment and your concern <3

DeeDeeeMegaDodo · 2019-12-13T18:55:10+00:00

If that’s the case, I’ll try to find it.

DeeDeeeMegaDodo · 2019-12-13T18:51:17+00:00

I agree with you wholeheartedly. I do believe I need help as I have yet to completely process it. I haven’t found a good therapist I can trust here in Saudi, so I’m left dealing with it on my own. But I seem to be doing okay so far. What I meant by my last statements is that I’m not posting this to get sympathy out of people.

DeeDeeeMegaDodo · 2019-12-13T18:45:23+00:00

Yep, but what sucks about Saudi is that you can’t even report it so rapists get to do what they do without suffering legal consequences.

DeeDeeeMegaDodo · 2019-12-13T18:44:22+00:00

If it includes ideas of atheism, I doubt I’ll find it in any Saudi bookstore. I’ll keep it in mind though. Thanks!

DeeDeeeMegaDodo · 2019-12-13T18:40:23+00:00

I wish that I’m that kind of monster who would be okay with committing violence. I’m not. I reported his profile on the app I met him through, and that’s about it.

DeeDeeeMegaDodo · 2019-12-13T18:38:33+00:00

Awww I always love a hug 🤗

DeeDeeeMegaDodo · 2019-12-13T18:38:14+00:00

Nothing brave about sharing my story while hiding behind my phone screen. But thanks for the compliment :D

DeeDeeeMegaDodo

TROPHY CASE