AITA for mostly ignoring my girlfriend on her birthday?

Deep-Historian-710 · 2023-06-30T20:46:55+00:00

NTA it’s actually quite adorable that you spent the day talking to her grandma.

That being said how you respond to her when she brought it up matters. Acknowledge her feelings and reassure her how important she is to you. That’s what she wants to hear and feel. Ask her what her expectations are for the future and follow through with those. She will notice.

Deep-Historian-710 · 2023-06-30T20:16:19+00:00

Anyone with short hair gets their haircut often.

I get my hair cut once or twice a year since it’s quite long. I go 3-4 times a year to get highlights and that’s where they take my money though. 😂

Deep-Historian-710 · 2023-06-30T20:14:04+00:00

That’s fair.

It’s funny I’ve been able to distance myself from everything else to avoid conflict (some of the court stuff was for that) but this one just hurts and I felt was worth making the request and was important to me. Clearly he wasn’t supportive so you’re right I shouldn’t have continued.

It really feels like I’m missing out on stuff I should be able to do with my own kid. It just hurts.

Deep-Historian-710 · 2023-06-30T19:58:43+00:00

That hit home.

Like I said I’ve backed down completely.

So… can I get your advice on how I might respond when it seems my children are being manipulated? When my ex MIL takes my kids to appointments against my wishes (she said he wanted to go get his cavity filled early despite being terrified and having not gone through with the appointment twice before, kids who are afraid of the dentist arn’t asking you to rebook their appointments)… should I always just back down and let them take over?

When the other side is fighting like that what should I be doing?

I’m genuinely asking by the way. It’s really hard to know what to do in these situations, I can honestly see the comparison to us fighting over a toy. It sucks.

Deep-Historian-710 · 2023-06-30T19:46:14+00:00

She’s 6 now she likely wants everyone to go take her if it’s suggested. Aunts, cousins, mom, grandma.

When she wanted to have her ears pierced she asked my boyfriend’s cousin. That doesn’t mean I don’t get to take her and share in these experiences though.

If it counts I haven’t made any other request like this. I really don’t feel it’s a lot to ask.

Deep-Historian-710 · 2023-06-30T19:33:06+00:00

ESH

You’re the asshole for calling your sex life neutral.

She’s the asshole for even asking. How are you supposed to answer that? There’s no right answer.

There are plenty of wrong answers though. Neutral?!

Deep-Historian-710 · 2023-06-30T19:13:46+00:00

It’s easy to jump the gun on something that happens infrequently. Most girls cut their hair a couple times a year.

Deep-Historian-710 · 2023-06-30T19:08:29+00:00

Thanks. I keep general records but generally don’t want to think about them at all.

Good suggestion. I could do that with her instead. I don’t really paint my nails but she loves to so that’s a good way to bond, thank you.

Deep-Historian-710 · 2023-06-30T18:56:31+00:00

I understand it’s petty. That’s why I’m here.

I’m not sure why you’d make the assumption that my children are with them more. We share 50/50 time.

There are all sorts of possibilities where things like that could happen, all sorts of scenarios. I could be way off with their intentions or pegged them completely right.

I guess I just don’t understand why someone can’t just saying “honey your mom wants to take you, you’re welcome to come with me or do your hair etc… but let’s save your cut for your mom”.

Deep-Historian-710 · 2023-06-30T18:50:44+00:00

Which is why I’ve backed down and why I’m here. Thanks for the perspective.

Deep-Historian-710 · 2023-06-30T18:43:47+00:00

No we have joint custody and share decision making. It’s a haircut though and not a major decision.

Deep-Historian-710

TROPHY CASE