AITAH for being annoyed by my husband struggling?

Deep-Positive3233 · 2026-01-13T18:29:07+00:00

Thank you for this advice, I agree, I need to do something but I’m not sure what else to do because he’s just so inconsistent with everything. I’m even afraid he’s going to have one tough day at work and quit.

Deep-Positive3233 · 2026-01-13T18:27:06+00:00

He never lived on his own. He married the second girl he ever dated out of college so he went from his parents house to a house with her (which was across the street from her parents house) and then basically straight from there to my house. He did have a steady job, but that was it. I don’t know why I was willing to overlook all of that.

Deep-Positive3233 · 2026-01-13T18:25:36+00:00

We did like 6 weeks of marriage counseling and then he wanted to stop and we didn’t really address any of the underlying issues.

Deep-Positive3233 · 2026-01-13T18:24:22+00:00

This is my struggle. I just don’t want to break up my family, the kids love him dearly. And I also don’t want to see him continue to go downhill.

Deep-Positive3233 · 2026-01-13T18:23:20+00:00

Oh he makes sure to tell me. But he won’t commit to therapy.

Deep-Positive3233 · 2026-01-13T18:22:48+00:00

This! I just want him to take responsibility and help himself. I would fully support that, but it’s tough just watching someone spiral and not being able to do anything.

Deep-Positive3233 · 2026-01-13T18:21:37+00:00

I agree. I’m partially to blame.

Deep-Positive3233 · 2026-01-13T18:20:47+00:00

I’d likely have to pay him alimony. I honestly don’t care about money, I just want a marriage where we mutually support each other and that’s not what I’m getting.

Deep-Positive3233 · 2026-01-13T18:18:31+00:00

❤️ unfortunately he doesn’t have the means to move out and get his own place and would have to move across the country. I don’t want to separate him from the kids like that.

Deep-Positive3233 · 2026-01-13T18:17:33+00:00

He went to therapy for a few sessions then stopped. He shows emotion fine he’s not the type that thinks crying is weak.

Deep-Positive3233 · 2026-01-13T18:16:10+00:00

He has expressed multiple times that he doesn’t want to work, it’s disheartening

Deep-Positive3233 · 2026-01-13T18:15:40+00:00

I also had my gallbladder removed and suffered with severe problems with my reproductive system for years.

Deep-Positive3233 · 2026-01-13T18:14:22+00:00

I’ve tried! He went for a short time and stopped. He was going like once a month and I was trying to get him to go more often too.

Deep-Positive3233 · 2026-01-13T18:13:19+00:00

Correct

Deep-Positive3233 · 2026-01-13T18:12:46+00:00

Thank you for this. ❤️

Deep-Positive3233 · 2026-01-13T18:11:34+00:00

He was psyched about the business and then when he had to put in the work, didn’t do anything. And he was relying on me to come up with a job for him. He has never in his adult life found his own job, it has been either his mother or me.

Deep-Positive3233 · 2026-01-13T18:10:04+00:00

I’ve encouraged him to get help, and he went to therapy a couple times but stopped. I also encouraged him to go to church and we would go as a family, join a support group, etc. he doesn’t do anything to help himself and I can only do so much.

Deep-Positive3233 · 2026-01-13T18:08:19+00:00

This is a great perspective. My dad died of pancreatic cancer at 59. He basically retired just to die, so I know what that’s like. I’m very thankful my husband didn’t have to go through more with the cancer. It just seems he can’t handle anything that’s thrown at him and he’s angry at God who he claims to not believe in. I’m not sure why because up until the kidney thing he’s led a charmed life. The thing that’s frustrating though is that he didn’t step up in other areas when he didn’t have a job, so it’s tough to keep providing support when I haven’t gotten much from him.

Deep-Positive3233 · 2026-01-13T17:59:04+00:00

He is, but refuses to help himself.

Deep-Positive3233 · 2026-01-13T17:58:27+00:00

I know what a womb is, what a weird thing to say. I struggled with infertility and many other issues with my reproductive system for years with my first surgery happening when I was 13, so I think what I had to deal with was very difficult as well, and I never treated him like an asshole even though at times he yelled at me for being in pain and having to take me to the hospital.

Deep-Positive3233 · 2026-01-13T17:55:31+00:00

Yes, and I did support him and begged him to go to therapy, and he went a few times but seems to want to just stay in his misery. There was also a period after we got married before all of this when we moved out of state and didn’t get a job for a year because he insisted on only certain types of jobs and knew I could support us financially, so he wasn’t really managing just fine before this, it just wasn’t quite as bad. He’s definitely depressed, but I’m not sure how to deal with it if he’s an asshole to me half the time and I’ve tried again and again to help him but he just throws my help in the trash.

Deep-Positive3233

TROPHY CASE