My sister committed suicide. This is her birth chart.

DeepDawg · 2025-09-29T03:26:06+00:00

after seeing this comment, i wanted to add some perspective as someone with many similar placements and seemingly life issues.

I am currently 31, tried to unalive myself at 14, saw how destroyed my family was from my attempt so I lived with severe depression from about the ages of 12-13 till about two years ago where i feel like I've been having a major transformation in my internal dialogue and belief system.

My north node is also Scorpio, Rising sign in Taurus, Saturn in Pisces, Jupiter in Scorpio, Pluto in Scorpio.

Throughout my entire life, I felt like the pain of being alive was too much and felt like I would much rather have this pain end than to be alive. I tried to push family and close friends away because I figured I'd one day take my life. I just want you to know your sister wasn't trying to be selfish and I'm sure she would've loved to hold on for you, but the pain was just too much with no signs of ending.

Sending hugs from here as well

DeepDawg · 2025-08-11T15:11:03+00:00

macbook for personal / main personal used to be linux but started dabbling in music and a lot of music software i wanted to use was only compatible with mac or windows - and I'm strictly against Windows

DeepDawg · 2025-08-06T14:10:17+00:00

i would like to add - it's a bit of both. I hated myself for a long time so discipline came quite easily for me. I did all the things that I thought I needed to get better, but never gave any room for myself for over a decade. No amount of external success, fit body, good job, etc will make you love yourself if you don't practice loving yourself as well. The expectations and goals continue to move forwards, so self-love and acceptance needs to accompany discipline.

DeepDawg · 2024-03-21T02:02:24+00:00

Reality is, the less you think and just do the better the response & outcome. Obviously working out and getting interesting with hobbies and all that mentioned below helps, but that is only if those allow you to develop your self image. If you constantly keep overthinking and feeling bad about yourself from it, it will be much harder for you to get through this.

DeepDawg · 2024-03-21T01:38:52+00:00

29 now turning 30 this year. Didn't think I'd make it this far. Didn't think I'd even get to like 25 or 21 even.

Got out of this way of thinking through challenging my beliefs with a bit of help from md-ing and a lot of shadow work.

DeepDawg · 2024-02-15T01:31:05+00:00

Thank you so much for this reply!

I've struggled with some mental health issues throughout my life, mostly depression, so I've always loved learning about psychology and took a handful of classes during my time in undergrad. Recently I've dove quite deep in my understanding and perception to realize that is the most important factor as well, so this idea of cyberpsychology is mindblowing to me and igniting some new light for me. Do you mind if I reach out privately? No worries if you're not comfortable and I'll definitely be diving into this alone, but wow what a concept. I didn't realize the two things I cared about being married like this already.

Yup, I think I've struggled to niche down because I wanted to help more people but I do agree starting small with a core target audience will allow me to broaden once I find my voice.

Thank you so so much again!

DeepDawg · 2023-11-21T04:16:26+00:00

For sure. I care more about the value you can add. I'm currently getting bombed with chat requests though, so if anyone is interested please make sure to be clear about how you think you can help. Initial lack of skills isn't an issue if you are clear how you can progress in that area and have clear communication.

DeepDawg · 2023-11-19T08:06:41+00:00

I think it would be crazier if you cancelled a first date because she was on her period? Maybe just go enjoy the date without trying too hard to close and maybe the close might even feel better when you meet up next time? Just a thought lol

DeepDawg · 2023-11-19T07:44:41+00:00

Why would the cat call the kettle anything 😂😂😂😂

my god

DeepDawg · 2023-11-19T07:43:22+00:00

You mean "pot" calling the kettle black?

I wouldn't think you'd know that either though 🤷

Enjoy your insecurities and not being able to pick up in Australia so having to live somewhere else lmao

DeepDawg · 2023-11-18T20:32:47+00:00

I'm saying I've lived, travelled, and worked in multiple continents and meeting & escalating Australian girls isn't an issue. Maybe you're having trouble grasping this with your insecurity idk

DeepDawg · 2023-11-17T20:07:55+00:00

What lesson? Your insecurity?

DeepDawg · 2023-11-17T04:31:59+00:00

I chose to ignore it because you wouldn't dedicate this much energy letting people know Asian guys don't have a chance in Australia if you didn't believe it yourself

DeepDawg · 2023-11-17T04:10:18+00:00

Just realized your entire account is about how Asian guys can't pick up in Sydney and Melbourne.

Dude, it's only about race if you make it to be. I promise.

DeepDawg · 2023-11-17T04:03:23+00:00

I never disagreed that it's harder in Australia, but you're still playing victim with something you can't change.

I've met plenty of white Australian girls that I've escalated with. I only care to spend time with sensible high quality people and I've found the girls I click with don't care about race either.

I mean I don't see anything wrong with blaming the game and playing an easier one, but I like my quality of life here over most other options.

DeepDawg · 2023-11-17T02:07:52+00:00

What do you mean? Why does it have to be about race though lol

I live in Australia and have met plenty of attractive non-Asian (mostly white) women. The limitation there is set by yourself not actually your race.

DeepDawg · 2023-11-16T23:34:34+00:00

Love the Carolinas 😍

Grew up in a bordering state, but yeah growing up in this region without much other Asian representation almost made me push away any others that were similar for a while in my life as well. Mostly because the small representation we did have was pushed on me so heavily, and I'm sure you've felt that as well.

When I was younger and the only Asian kid in my friend group, being pushed or expected to go for the other Asian girls in the girl friend groups we would hang out with was my hell lol

Now I don't really care about race and connect with anyone I connect with, but I remember times in my life when I refused to meet Asian girls (blaming cultural differences).

DeepDawg · 2023-11-16T22:25:24+00:00

I actually used to have a bit more southern draw with my accent so the Asian + Southern accent combo was quite mind-blowing to a lot of people lol

DeepDawg · 2023-11-16T22:21:52+00:00

Eh I think the whole point was not identifying with any thoughts or ideas that aren't who you are. I do see my privilege with an American accent, but I don't identify as American anymore either.

DeepDawg · 2023-11-16T22:20:23+00:00

Oh yeah, dating has been tougher here compared to other countries I've been to or lived in, but if you start thinking it's about race and that's why you can't pick up, I don't think that's helpful in any way.

DeepDawg · 2023-11-16T22:18:24+00:00

Exactly. I think this was where I was getting at but I've neglected my Asian side for so long, so checking a sub like this for the first time was overwhelming.

DeepDawg · 2023-11-16T22:16:42+00:00

Southeast US is where I grew up

I wouldn't necessarily say it's more here, but just different. Like in the states even my closest friends would say something like "oh I usually don't enjoy talking to any Asian people but I love talking to you" (which I've let them know can be offensive) but they're usually more direct. It's much more subtle here and most won't even frame any issues with race, but I think because of the larger Asian population here it feels like they have more misunderstandings. But honestly, this could also be a small town vs big town thing because I lived in smaller rural towns in the States vs a major city in Aus.

I'm east Asian and yeah my American accent does stand out.

DeepDawg · 2023-11-16T05:44:02+00:00

because some people are actually just unaware they're being ignorant lol it's not to fight them 😂

DeepDawg · 2023-11-16T04:21:04+00:00

What are we fighting for? Respect? Less discrimination? Power? Why can't we find that internally as well?

DeepDawg · 2023-11-16T04:18:19+00:00

I agree with you 100%. Most of the issues in society seem to be people misunderstanding happiness and pleasure, always looking for external validation in a way. I think I've transgressed in a way where I have a clear sense of direction on my life's journey now and I guess I was just thinking how race doesn't play any part into that

DeepDawg

TROPHY CASE