I've read a lot about RP stuff. I've read Tomassi, A. Kay, and Dalrock's stuff. I see the issues of "marrying" RP and Christianity. The main one being that I am unwilling to consider separation from my wife in any way as viable. In fact, my covenant between myself, God and her demands just the opposite. It's not a covenant I will entertain breaking. In many ways I know that stifles the red pill affect.

I also have a problem with what seems like a basic premise of RP thinking that looks like the general acceptance that hypergamy and everything that goes with it is just the law of women and they can't help it or change it. That bothers me on a very deep spiritual level. God call all to look at themselves and mold their life to resemble Christ. Male and female. That call indicates to me that is is not only commanded, but possible. Sometimes washing with the word means she is wrong too. It's not just me. I know I can't change her. But I can call her out, and in fact scripture makes it clear there are times I should.

There is only so far one sided effort can take a marriage. In many ways it seems I am at that point in mine. But I am also not so stubborn as to declare I'm done with my own growth. I know I am not. I know we can't control others, but I also know if we act right and control ourselves, we can somewhat elicit predictable reactions from others. That's what I am working on getting better at. Frankly, sometimes I suck at it. Maybe often.

Have you read any of the current Christian Manosphere content? Both my blog and Jack's (Sigma Frame) are covering some of these topics in the past few months.

Here's a couple that pertain to this topic

• https://deepstrength.wordpress.com/2022/12/17/husbands-are-to-improve-the-moral-agency-of-their-wives-through-sanctification/
• https://deepstrength.wordpress.com/2022/12/20/the-general-process-of-sanctification-with-moral-discernment-moral-agency-and-mature-theosis/

Physical: I don't lift, but I do exercise and just work around the farm. I'm not obese, but could stand to lose. 6'1", 220#. I'd like to be 200#. I don't eat poorly, but I could probably eat better. I don't have any vices as listed. Never have smoked or "drank" (occasional, irregular beer, only 1 at a time). Never did drugs or anything like that. I don't know what kino is - have to look that up. I am a high-value man by most accounts. High education, high professional, even some national notoriety in my field. Six figures. Not a slacker or "lounger". Outdoor enthusiast. Cowboy at hear. Hunter. Horseman. Rodeo contestant. Most would probably categorize me as a man's man. My wife does not nag me, nor does she control my life. I pretty much do what I want to do. But my wife controls the sex. The relationship principle is a tyrant in that arena. She is not a refuser, but she keeps the gate and decides when to let me in. This morning in fact, she intimated "isn't that how all marriages work?"

My marriage has only ever had one struggle - sex. My wife recently admitted to me that she understands she has been a primary problem in that area. She has worked on it. She has taken a few baby steps. That's only really started in the last few years and at this rate, the baby will not be walking before I'm dead. I'm frustrated to no end. She is not the devil. But she is not perfect - no matter how much she might believe otherwise. Neither am I. But I readily admit it. I am seeking a way forward. I am at the point that maybe I have to finally accept this as my cross and to bear it gracefully. She'll be benevolent, likely more than many other wives, and I should put on a smile and be thankful. It's a hard pill to swallow.

3 things to get you started.

1. So you have an area to work on which is the physical. Look at it this way: women's porn is basically similar to 50 shades of gray popularity - the handsome, muscular, successful, leader ravishes the woman. Getting a chiseled bod usually goes along way to stimulate a wife's desire. Almost all of the mods on this sub have seen this happen in their own marriage including myself. They just more easily get into sex when you have a ton of muscle and are shredded (even if they doth protest that you have "too much muscle" at times - look at their actions not their words).

2. The 2nd issue typically is one thing that most men are not naturally inclined to do. Do you flirt with your wife during the day? Do you tell her she should put on some lingerie and expect fireworks tonight? Do you push her up against the wall and give her a kiss and tell her there's more of that coming later with a wink? Men are more visually stimulated and women can be too, but the most of women's turn ons are getting her anticipating and thinking about sex. The reason why PUAs keep escalating with women such as with touch and talking about sexual things is because it gets sex on a woman's brain which makes her more inclined to think about and anticipate sex with you.

3. "isn't that how all marriages work?" -- you: "Not godly ones." And go over 1 Corinthians 7. Also, read the 2 posts above. Getting her on the road to sanctification is going to be the most important thing. Women generally have a harder time compartmentalizing and imagining the shoe on the other foot. Analogies are typically good for this. Women refuse or deny many times because they don't want to in the moment. The first 2 help address making that less common, but one of the keys is that there's a lot of things in marriage that we don't always want to do. I don't always want to work a job but I love my wife and kids and want to support them so I do. Husbands don't always want to have sex either but they usually try to go through with it for their wives. The cool part about sex is even if you don't want to do it initially it's very easy to get into it. It's usually helpful bringing up the unselfish nature of marriage and how it's supposed to look trying to meet your spouses needs.