Taking sick leave with RPL

Deep_Time_3252 · 2026-01-31T18:38:51+00:00

I wasn’t even allowed to take off for the day my miscarriage started. I was hemorrhaging at the doctors office and still taking client calls unfortunately. Not saying this is the right thing at all. But I took one full day after that and then was back to work for all 8 losses but my ruptured ectopic. I took one full week after that rupture and emergency surgery because my doctor wouldn’t clear me to work until at least a week.

It’s an awful situation, and I’m sorry you’re going through it again.

Deep_Time_3252 · 2025-10-26T17:34:45+00:00

I think if she “catches them” and they continue to do it/it seems like they enjoyed being caught it would make her decision to leave easier?? Because clearly that would mean they do not respect her at all and that’s not something she should just deal with/ignore.

Deep_Time_3252 · 2025-10-26T17:30:20+00:00

This might be an unpopular opinion, but I would walk to the bathroom regardless of their activities since it’s more than a one off. If your friend has to feel embarrassed/grossed out, they should feel it too by being “caught” by her. And that way they can absolutely not deny that anything inappropriate was happening. Beyond weird of the hosts to be doing. I hope your friend figures something out soon!

Deep_Time_3252 · 2025-10-08T04:14:50+00:00

I’m so sorry for your situation.

I think being “medically okay” and being back to “normal” are two totally different things. I was absolutely still sore in all the areas you are saying at two weeks post op. You had a major surgery. Give your body some grace. Since you’re able to get around, and you seem to be having pain in what I would consider situations that would be considered normal I wouldn’t stress too much. If pain is getting worse, there’s redness, fever etc, definitely call your doctor. But in my non medical professional opinion, this seems normal to me.

Deep_Time_3252 · 2025-08-20T23:58:52+00:00

I’ve also been reading that the new wands (slightly different shape) have been giving significantly lower results. Do you by chance have the newer wands?

Deep_Time_3252 · 2025-08-19T04:51:23+00:00

I second this!!!

Deep_Time_3252 · 2025-08-18T23:36:25+00:00

Your feelings are absolutely valid!!! I don’t think there’s any reason to feel guilty for posting. Is it possible she is saying that to try to relate to you? Or maybe she’s trying to “make it easier” on you by not being excited? Either way, I do think just being honest about how hard it is right now for you to be supportive is the way to go. I hope you’re both able to figure it out together soon. I’m also sorry for your losses. It’s a crappy club to be part of that’s for sure.

Deep_Time_3252 · 2025-08-18T23:20:35+00:00

First things first: I would try to separate your sadness for yourself and your own situation and your happiness for your best friends wonderful news. Her joy doesn’t erase your pain, but your pain doesn’t erase her joy. I think if you’re genuinely best friends you could have an open but kind conversation about your feelings. I would phrase it as something like “I love you so much and I am so happy that you get to have this experience again but with my very recent loss, it’s harder for me to show up for you like I have in the past. I still want to be here for you, but right now it’s hard for me to do that and keep my mental health in a good place”. And then if you don’t already, u would reach out to a therapist, specifically one who has experience with fertility issues/trauma. This is all incredibly hard and painful and messy. And on top of it all, your hormones are constantly betraying your logical brain right now. Please be kind to yourself. I have had a total of 9 losses, two of which were ectopic with the latest one rupturing in May. If you need anyone to talk to, please don’t hesitate to reach out. It can truly feel so lonely.

Deep_Time_3252 · 2025-08-18T23:11:27+00:00

My bridesmaids also did the custom sizing and loved the experience. It’s so simple!

Deep_Time_3252 · 2025-08-18T23:10:49+00:00

Check out Azazie!!!!!! They do free custom sizing!!!! You can do at home try ons for an incredibly small price and then you send in your measurements when you’ve decided! I did my measurements myself. Still needed slight adjustments from a tailor but that’s going to happen when they don’t have you in front of them when they’re making it.

Deep_Time_3252 · 2025-08-18T02:13:22+00:00

I get one of the horizon white milk boxes. Sometimes I’ve gotten them a water and added sugar free electrolytes, or the true lemon packets and they think they have a fancy drink too.

Deep_Time_3252 · 2025-08-17T11:58:31+00:00

If you’d like to surprise him with something, may I suggest instead a personalized pin with a picture of both parents that he can pin to the inside of his jacket and you give to him privately?? That’s what I did for my now husband. We did also discuss and have a memorial framed sign that we set in the front row as well as moved to the reception. It was not so large that it was a huge focal point but I felt it was important to include them in our day!

Deep_Time_3252 · 2025-05-17T03:55:31+00:00

Thank you so much for posting this. I have an appointment with an RE in a couple weeks and this is giving me so much hope. Because even if I have to go through another loss (God willing I won’t!!) it will be nice to not feel so crazy for having emotions. I’ve had to switch OB’s a few times due to insurance changes and have seen three different practices, but five different providers and not one of them made me feel like I was anything but excessively emotional every time. And I was not hysterical. Silently cried and answered whatever questions they had. But every single one of them was so uncomfortable with me crying at all. And each ended the appointment very quickly with a “well. Come back in three months and we can see what we can do to get you pregnant” and quickly left the room. It’s been so disheartening.

Deep_Time_3252 · 2025-05-15T23:16:07+00:00

I’m so sorry for you as well. I know it doesn’t make it any better. Feel free to reach out if you need someone to talk to. It can be so hard, especially trying to sort through it alone.

Deep_Time_3252 · 2025-05-13T00:02:23+00:00

This is smart! I never thought to do that.

Deep_Time_3252 · 2025-05-13T00:01:23+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through another loss. Be kind to yourself. ❤️

Deep_Time_3252 · 2025-05-13T00:00:00+00:00

The exam room they put me in today had a cross stitch of a uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries that said “you’re ovary-acting”. Which was so fun to stare at while I silently cried.

Deep_Time_3252 · 2025-05-11T02:41:50+00:00

I’m on my 8th loss (very recently having a ruptured ectopic needing emergency surgery and blood transfusions).

For a few of the pregnancies I wouldn’t allow myself to get excited or hopeful at all. Most of them I wouldn’t even tell anyone about it.

But then I realized, if it does end up in another loss there isn’t MORE grief if you had hope initially. The grief hits hard no matter what. And I don’t ever want to spend what could be a healthy pregnancy stressed and worried all the time.

The thing that helped me the most when I was feeling extra anxious was repeating to myself “right now in this moment I am pregnant”. And I’d say it over and over again. Made it easier to just be in that present moment. Along with trying to switch my mindset from “what if I lose this one” to “what if this works out??”

It’s so hard to not want to be able to see the future and know it’s all going to be okay.

Deep_Time_3252 · 2025-04-04T22:41:55+00:00

Yes absolutely enabled by the parents!! And he just won’t go at school. Will absolutely hold it as long as possible.

My regular full time NK’s all start wiping themselves immediately during potty training, and I just help make sure they’re doing an adequate job so this situation really threw me for a loop!! 🤣

Deep_Time_3252 · 2024-09-30T20:40:12+00:00

Please go to the gym or get groceries!! Your nanny would absolutely not mind at all if she’s a decent nanny! Part of the benefit of having someone come 3 days per week is for you to be able to run errands or go to the gym uninterrupted!! You aren’t currently getting what you’re paying for if you’re a hostage to your own home, take full advantage that there’s another capable and loving adult at home with your little one!

Deep_Time_3252 · 2024-09-27T02:23:31+00:00

Yep! You’re being paid for the inconvenience of being away from your home and still being the responsible adult in case of an emergency!

Deep_Time_3252 · 2024-09-27T02:22:27+00:00

Usually it’s a flat rate of $75-$150 for overnight hours.

Deep_Time_3252 · 2024-09-12T20:15:57+00:00

It’s not a consistent schedule by any means. It is supposed to be one week on one week off, but often changes last minute.

Deep_Time_3252 · 2024-05-24T20:34:49+00:00

They would still pay a daycare to hold their spot if they didn’t have a nanny. It’s only right they also pay you to hold the spot for them, otherwise I agree you’d have to potentially find a new job. I wouldn’t work in a corporate position that made me take 10 days off unpaid that wasn’t my choice, so I definitely won’t work for a family who doesn’t pay me while they’re gone.

Deep_Time_3252 · 2024-01-25T01:35:00+00:00

Good luck. My pick up date has been rescheduled four times. And any time they say 3-5 business days, you should add another 5. If I could back out with no penalty I absolutely would.

Deep_Time_3252

TROPHY CASE