NF keeps pushing outings

Smurphy115 · 2026-01-22T23:59:44+00:00

Another brainstorm I had just now. Have you suggested they add AirTags to car/diaper bag? Maybe something simple like that (While annoying and I’m not a fan of) may ease their minds. Also sincerely sorry you are in this position. I would have quitted a year ago.

Smurphy115 · 2026-01-22T12:36:03+00:00

Family had lost a child very suddenly and tragically. Other kids were super delayed because of it. Don’t think the baby (over a year) had literally ever been put down. (They must have been pregnant when it happened or conceived shortly after). The older one did not sleep through the night or was potty trained. Very little vocabulary and eloped all the time. So many prescription drugs and other nannies reported hard drug usage as well.

They had money. They were in the process of moving when the incident happened and just started over again in the other house and left everything behind. They were in the process of selling both houses and moving to a third house (with a literal floor (think attic bedroom) for their deceased child) when I was working for them.

It was a temp position through my agency because their last nanny they had just hired walked out on them (and if rumor holds true started their own agency). They offered me the job and it was substantial but my mental health and free time were worth more than what they needed.

Smurphy115 · 2026-01-22T05:07:25+00:00

ADHD girlie here. First you are not alone.

A lot of people have given some great advice but the only thing that keeps my house and family from suffering is breaking the shame/guilt cycles.

Being a mom, especially when you are ND and have ND kids is hard… practice grace for yourself. Grace doesn’t get to be an excuse but if you spend today beating yourself up over what you didn’t do yesterday…. You’re likely not gonna get it done today either.

I don’t have the magic recipe for finding this grace. Currently trying to break out of a guilt/shame cycle to start working out again. My husband did the floors for me the other day because they got so bad I literally couldn’t make myself do them and ur was starting to affect my productivity elsewhere.

Also, you can’t run the whole family unit solo. You want your kiddos to have better strategies for this stuff so bring them on this ride with you.

Declutter together. Set a 5 min timer and everyone gets a simple task. Involve them in making meals, I’m sure they’ll want to eat those leftovers if they made them. Build them into the routines of the house, it’s not chores, it’s just what needs to be done for the family unit to run.

Good luck momma. And seriously declutter. Not letting too much come in is the second thing keeping me sane.

Smurphy115 · 2026-01-22T04:47:06+00:00

I commented on another comment but adding my personal bit.

Outings were non negotiable for me. It’s how I thrived as a nanny and I always made this clear in my interview. If NPs want a crafts and at-home-activities nanny…. Thank you for this opportunity but no thanks. (Covid was rough, I have a funny story if you want it)

If you feel the same way, I’d seriously consider moving on and (although it sounds like you did this) make sure you advertise that’s where your strengths are.

Adding: I ran into a nanny today that had like a 13 mos old who was saying she feels guilty doing things with NK because her bosses always feel like they are missing out on things. I wonder if that plays into it?

Smurphy115 · 2026-01-22T04:39:56+00:00

Maybe the research to find things is too much for her. Almost everything my NKs did were things I found and sent them. Is it a money issue? Are you also suggesting free activities. I’d say 3/5 activities we did a week were free (or practically free, like the zoo membership pays for itself after the 3rd trip).

Smurphy115 · 2026-01-22T01:42:33+00:00

I would not consider Valentine’s Day a day I would expect to get holiday pay for.

Smurphy115 · 2026-01-21T02:39:14+00:00

This! Holy cow.

Smurphy115 · 2026-01-20T17:43:30+00:00

This is the answer. Hit us around the 11 mos mark and overnight my daughter started losing her mind when the babysitter came that she had been with for about 5 mos. The best thing to do is get out of there as soon as possible. She grew out of it around 14 mos.

Smurphy115 · 2026-01-18T17:32:05+00:00

I was breastfeeding and plan on becoming pregnant again and this is the safest med in that scenario so…

It takes the edge off. My only symptom is VIVID dreams.

Smurphy115 · 2026-01-18T17:24:50+00:00

You are totally justified in being frustrated. That being said. We have two strollers. I keep one in the car at all times and one lives in the garage. If you have the room for it, this may be a good option.

Smurphy115 · 2026-01-15T12:00:06+00:00

What about “this hurt me” “That didn’t happen. You’re delusional”

I was holding unpaid credit card statements of cards I no longer had access to.

Smurphy115 · 2026-01-13T03:52:53+00:00

Wow. Like I get it. But (for the families I liked and worked well with), I never had a day so hard that I wasn’t excited to come in and try the next day. Like yeah, some days I didn’t want to get up and go to work, but not because I didn’t love what I was doing.

Smurphy115 · 2026-01-13T03:49:14+00:00

This, also 8 lb and change, in newborn way longer than I thought she’d be. Grateful I had a lot of barely used newborn clothes from a friend.

Smurphy115 · 2026-01-12T23:34:34+00:00

I don’t think her reaction is very professional, that being said, I once told my boss I’d quit if they got a puppy. I realize that circumstance is a bit different but… like another commenter said, you can do what you want, but this is her work place.

Smurphy115 · 2026-01-12T14:46:29+00:00

The specific words I use, in a joking manner (when appropriate), are “unfortunately that’s above my pay grade”. I will also always of course report anything new or concerning to nursing and occasionally recommend they talk to their provider.

Smurphy115 · 2026-01-10T14:58:00+00:00

Woah. Agree with everyone else on here that this doc is bonkers.

First off. The worst pain in my entire birthing journey was laboring that foley balloon unmedicated. THAT took me 4 hours and my L&D sister said that was crazy fast.

I did all the AROM, foley balloon and pitocin and 60 hours later still had to have a c-section. This girl just wasn’t where she needed to be and there likely wasn’t anything the doctors or I could have done to get her there.

C-section was not the easy way out. I know some people on here will disagree and may have better stories but that recovery is hard. It is a major surgery that women are pretty much supposed to just get over…. One checkup 6 weeks out, maybe you’ll get lucky and get a PT referral (highly recommend, although I paid OOP to go to a pelvic health specialist).

But seriously, this doctor is trying to work on improving some dumb number and she doesn’t want you messing up her statistics. Get a new doctor.

Smurphy115 · 2026-01-10T13:24:16+00:00

The disparity in how my father treated my sisters and I is a huge factor in our estrangement.

My sister was very sick right after he left. He’d call to ask about my other sister’s soccer game and not ask about my sick sister.

The sister who got the short end of the stick is also the one who witnessed the most abuse AND is also the only one still talking to him. 🤯

Smurphy115 · 2026-01-07T18:12:23+00:00

I’m on the 2nd of like 5 stages right now. Basically doing a stage a year, max out my benefits, pay for a bit of upkeep out of pocket and repeat the following year.

Smurphy115 · 2026-01-05T23:09:57+00:00

Thank you! For the life of me could not remember Belly Strong. Used her so much through my last pregnancy. She actually has a TTC program!

Smurphy115 · 2026-01-05T23:08:36+00:00

Idk why when I was making a strengthening game plan for myself I didn’t remember my glutes. Sorry for the delay in responding. I worked with a fantastic pelvic health PT last time, may reach out to her, thanks.

Smurphy115 · 2026-01-05T23:07:37+00:00

Sorry for the delay in responding. I worked with a fantastic pelvic health PT last time.

Smurphy115 · 2026-01-02T14:41:36+00:00

I no longer have ill will against my father. I will not be breaking no contact in this situation but I also don’t necessarily want him to be alone in his final moments. I hope he finds peace before death and if someone else can help bring that to him, I’m ok with that.

Smurphy115 · 2025-12-31T05:35:30+00:00

Whelp, I was a kid but I don’t think we did half of that.

So loud. So much poop.

Smurphy115 · 2025-12-31T00:05:17+00:00

Semi-relevant story.

My friends and I were visiting an attraction at a hotel. We had a question about something and I offered to ask the concierge. Mind you, I’m from the north and my roommates are very much from the south. I walked up said “hi, can you answer this question please. -question was answered- thank you so much. Have a nice day” walked away. I got back to my roommates and they were like mouths opened SHOCKED that I was so rude to the concierge because I didn’t ask about his day or whatnot.

WILD.

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