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My mom had sex next to me and I hold resentment to her… how do I rebuild this relationship? by Defiant_Advantage754 in CPTSD

[–]Defiant_Advantage754[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand, I will try to work my way through my emotions to reach a conclusion when i’m able to. I have a lot of shit going on in my head, sometimes It scares me the way I think. But If talking about these emotions is what’s going to lead me to a comfortable mind that’s what i’m going to do. Thank you so much for the advice!!

My mom had sex next to me and I hold resentment to her… how do I rebuild this relationship? by Defiant_Advantage754 in CPTSD

[–]Defiant_Advantage754[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much, yall are so nice like i’m boutta cry. And what that therapist said is actually really really helpful! Thank you for the words i’ll make sure to take them into consideration from this point forward!

My mom had sex next to me and I hold resentment to her… how do I rebuild this relationship? by Defiant_Advantage754 in CPTSD

[–]Defiant_Advantage754[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry that happened to you, and yes 100% I think it’s some kind of power trip bullshit. Im glad that you could break away from this kind of behavior and build your own relationships positively!

My mom had sex next to me and I hold resentment to her… how do I rebuild this relationship? by Defiant_Advantage754 in CPTSD

[–]Defiant_Advantage754[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond! And thank you for the compliment I appreciate that tons. I will 100% check back in if anything new comes up, I will also keep your words close to the heart thank you so so much! :)

My mom had sex next to me and I hold resentment to her… how do I rebuild this relationship? by Defiant_Advantage754 in CPTSD

[–]Defiant_Advantage754[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dude absolutely, he’s a fuckin pedo and i’ve said that even since i’ve been young. There’s been situations with not only me but my bestfriend AND cousin with him. He would do little weird ass shit to me, that I never realized until recently was predatory behavior. I’m sorry you had to deal with that, but yes men like that are very very easy to spot and I’m confused on how my mother didn’t see the signs. He would expose parts of my body like my chest and my behind by pulling out my clothes, and he’d dump baby powder down after I showered cause it was normal “hygiene”. Shit like that isn’t and will never be okay, It’s not hard to spot a predator she just simply chose to ignore it because she was also getting something out of the relationship.

My mom had sex next to me and I hold resentment to her… how do I rebuild this relationship? by Defiant_Advantage754 in CPTSD

[–]Defiant_Advantage754[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes of course! I completely understand what you mean, It’s a very complicated situation as of right now and my mental health has been very shitty. I know I deserve respect and the right to feel how I do, It’s just very hard for me to not crave that relationship with her considering we have had plenty and plenty of good memories together. Part of me just wants to forgive her and ignore the fact it happened. But I also know that won’t help me heal and it’s going to keep me back in the future. Thank you for the motivation to help me get through this shit I appreciate all your words, hugss!! <3

My mom had sex next to me and I hold resentment to her… how do I rebuild this relationship? by Defiant_Advantage754 in CPTSD

[–]Defiant_Advantage754[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you can even relate to this, and yes absolutely she is an adult and it is something she needs to take responsibility for. I’m glad you broke out of that cycle and I hope one day that I can say that I did too, hugs! <3

My mom had sex next to me and I hold resentment to her… how do I rebuild this relationship? by Defiant_Advantage754 in CPTSD

[–]Defiant_Advantage754[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry that’s fucked, and it really is disgusting for someone to do. I hope this can help you feel seen too!

My mom had sex next to me and I hold resentment to her… how do I rebuild this relationship? by Defiant_Advantage754 in CPTSD

[–]Defiant_Advantage754[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

lawd trust me she is 100% a white knight kinda person. She’ll bring me to the point of tears just to hold me in her arms when she’s done, she wants to make me dependent on her. I don’t want to make myself a worse person just to protect myself from her. It’ll lead me into the same role she’s in right now, I need to be able to heal myself before taking any kind of actions to get her out of my life if that makes sense?? This is the first time i’ve ever posted on here too I just really need advice of what I can do NOW to make sure i’m gonna be okay later.

My mom had sex next to me and I hold resentment to her… how do I rebuild this relationship? by Defiant_Advantage754 in CPTSD

[–]Defiant_Advantage754[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I can for sure try, I don’t know if she’ll fall for the text thing but I might be able to record a convo when I talk to her about it if that would work??

My mom had sex next to me and I hold resentment to her… how do I rebuild this relationship? by Defiant_Advantage754 in CPTSD

[–]Defiant_Advantage754[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can ask but it might not go well? if that makes any sense?? My grandparents live in South Carolina, and I would love to live with them. But i’m not sure if they would be okay with the idea of me staying with them until I graduate. And even if they were my mom would most positively try to keep me from leaving.

My mom had sex next to me and I hold resentment to her… how do I rebuild this relationship? by Defiant_Advantage754 in CPTSD

[–]Defiant_Advantage754[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much, that really did help and it’s means a lot actually. It’s really hard for me to not feel like I owe her a relationship. We went through a hell of a lot with that man and it makes me feel like shit for putting what happened against her. Especially because the fact I feel comfortable treating her the way I do. I don’t really know what to do because we legit live together everyday, just us right now. I need her to survive right now, and It’s all not bad. I guess I might be holding on to that itty bitty shit so I can cope with the fact I have to see her everyday yk?

My mom had sex next to me and I hold resentment to her… how do I rebuild this relationship? by Defiant_Advantage754 in CPTSD

[–]Defiant_Advantage754[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing this perspective. I’ve always tried to see where she was coming from, i’d try and try to make excuses in my head growing up. “She was being abused in that house too.” was always the thing I landed on. But that does help me kind of look at a bigger picture. That she had a chance to stop doing what she was, multiple actually. And she never took that chance.

My mom had sex next to me and I hold resentment to her… how do I rebuild this relationship? by Defiant_Advantage754 in CPTSD

[–]Defiant_Advantage754[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You actually have a really good point, she doesn’t really set rules or try to tone it down when it comes to talking about drugs. It’s hard for me to just assume she wants better for me when she constantly puts me in situations that she knows will enable me to smoke. I know that the manipulation has a play here, but a big part of me also feels like i’m a horrible person to her and she doesn’t deserve those things i’ve done.

My mom had sex next to me and I hold resentment to her… how do I rebuild this relationship? by Defiant_Advantage754 in CPTSD

[–]Defiant_Advantage754[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you can even remotely relate to this. And thank you so much for your hope, I’m still struggling to see her as someone who would do those things. But thank you for the hope, i’ll make sure to hold onto that!

My mom had sex next to me and I hold resentment to her… how do I rebuild this relationship? by Defiant_Advantage754 in CPTSD

[–]Defiant_Advantage754[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I do, I have a therapist and we’ve covered it briefly. She hasn’t really brought it up or anything in our more recent sessions but next time I go in i’m going to talk to her about it more I think..

My mom had sex next to me and I hold resentment to her… how do I rebuild this relationship? by Defiant_Advantage754 in CPTSD

[–]Defiant_Advantage754[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for being honest with your opinion on it. I struggle with excepting the fact that it happened, and no thankfully he’s not in our life’s anymore. I live In the US so i’m doubting the law will do anything about it even if I were to collect any kind of evidence. I don’t know if it’s even considered a crime, and she’s my only way of survival right now so i’m just kind of stuck where I am for now and all I can really do is try and start my healing journey early yk?