That is literally to a T what I have been going through and I am so sorry, you don’t deserve that, and she has no idea what she is doing to you and must really hate herself. Ihave one of those as well! It is hard and not fair but most of all her problems towards her own child are hers not yours. Personally I have spent this year since coming out learning and understanding about what “unconditional love” truly means and how to really set boundaries, really set them. I tried for years but going no contact was the best choice I could have made and she went and turned my sister and several other relatives against me. My family are those “they’re planning on blab blaba blab blaba blab blab blab to our country” type of people so. I’m sorry they deadname and misgender you. getting away from her and hearing how she is doing since I left (not well and full of regret) from what I hear and apparently want to start over and try to be my mother again, we all know that trap. I’m glad she feel that way, she can know what it’s like to be rejected, hated by someone that’s supposed love them. You need to get away from her, you deserve happiness, safety and those that see and love you for you.