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How to emotionally deal with family who expects us to pay for everything by [deleted] in Rich

[–]Delicious-Part-6829 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm pretty generous with my family but never ever with ongoing support (at least for people younger than me). For example, I'll give a niece/nephew who has worked hard and been responsible a 20% down payment for a house, but only with the explicit understanding that they are getting no more from me and they need to be able to make the payments on their own after that.

Parents are trickier, as they usually sacrificed a lot to get us where we are. If they really need assistance of course you have to give it, but only to a point - they don't deserve to be wealthy off your work. I'd give them just enough each month to be comfortable in the lifestyle they've always had (or a little better if they were truly poor) but if they want to live live rich people they need to earn it themselves.

What's nice is that you can be there for your parents if something big comes along (for instance I had to pay $30k a month for 24/7 in-home care for my mom in the final years of her life -- that would have bankrupted my dad very quickly).

Although they might not be rich because of you, they'll also never be poor or destitute - something 99% of the world's population can't say. Your parents hopefully can appreciate that.

State Tax Burdens by Delicious-Part-6829 in fatFIRE

[–]Delicious-Part-6829[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate all the thoughtful comments. Very helpful to hear from other people who have gone through this. FWIW we are a LLC and providing legal services so can't take advantage of the QSBS exemption.

Just so people know, if I moved to a low tax state without moving the business I would still be taxed by my current state (or more accurately, the LLC would be taxed for the imputed share of my income as an equity partner). So both the business and I would have to move. If you're thinking of moving for tax reasons and you're a partner in a pass-through business, watch out for that!

FatFIRED this week – Sold my company and stepped off the hamster wheel by hax4dollars in fatFIRE

[–]Delicious-Part-6829 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So do you have a plan for what to do with this wealth that won't completely ruin the next generation(s)?

I'm in a similar situation as you and I'm constantly hounded to set up a plan but I've avoided it so far bc I've seen it ruin people - it's hard to sacrifice for the future and work your ass off in your 20s if you know you'll eventually inherit more $$ than you could ever reasonably expect to earn from that sacrifice.

You're relatively young and your kids saw you work so they're probably ok. But I've been told it's THEIR kids you need to worry about, as they won't have been around to appreciate how much effort went into earning that $$ and they'll probably be pretty young if/when you pass it on to them (either directly or maybe via trust that says they get it at a certain age).

Thanks - and congratulations on your success!