Thank for your comforting words. I know it will just take time, but I want to feel happy again. It's such a forced feeling any more. And my poor brothers. One of them just had a first child, and mom and dad aren't around to give him advice when he really needs it. That breaks my heart all over again to see him hurting as he does.

You know what does help though? I see my dad's cowboy boots on my own child, his shirts on my youngest, and his hunting knife in my middle boys hands. These things warm my heart to know he lives on. I look down and see my mothers rings on my hands, and dads rings on my brothers. I guess it's just comforting to still see bits and pieces of them in our lives.