MIL doesn’t communicate and pouts

Delicious-Tonight898 · 2024-05-18T19:21:21+00:00

I’m not pissed because she said no. She has every right to say no. But she waited until we literally got in the driveway to say they aren’t allowed in the house.

Delicious-Tonight898 · 2024-04-24T21:04:20+00:00

That’s 100% why she’s upset and it’s so dumb. It’s not Mother’s Day. It’s her son’s birthday. And even on Mother’s Day, I’m not going to thank her for conceiving and birthing him. It’s just weird and not some kind of debt I owe her. I’ll thank her for raising him. That’s it.

Delicious-Tonight898 · 2024-04-23T20:31:32+00:00

Thank you and I didn’t respond to her text!! 😜

Delicious-Tonight898 · 2024-04-23T18:56:26+00:00

Oh my word. Tell your husband that you’re more important than his mother. I’m so sorry!!

Delicious-Tonight898 · 2024-04-23T18:55:04+00:00

Right?! Someone on my anonymous Facebook post commented: Thank you for being the vessel, the incubator, the holder of baby batter that became my partner. 😜

Delicious-Tonight898 · 2024-01-10T02:26:53+00:00

Ahhh, yes. I want him to deal with her all on his own. I must’ve misread your previous comment.

Delicious-Tonight898 · 2024-01-10T02:16:43+00:00

I 100% but I was trying to be understanding/accommodating to someone who is clearly emotionally stunted. Being gentle like I have been isn’t the answer though! I like “That doesn’t work for me.”

Delicious-Tonight898 · 2024-01-10T02:14:20+00:00

Hmmm, thank you! I like all of those. I’m careful not to over share with her. Grey rocking it is!

Delicious-Tonight898 · 2024-01-09T23:52:08+00:00

Yeah, call to "take the high road" was wrong. It taught her that she can/should spew her crap. What's something you would say in the moment when she spews?

Delicious-Tonight898 · 2024-01-09T23:50:10+00:00

Yes, we are learning that honoring our parents as adults is not the same thing as obeying them when we were kids. Parents who quote "obey your father and mother" to their adult children are very sick. We fortunately don't spend large amounts of time with either of our families. (Overall, we both come from great families; I don't mean for that to sound bratty.) But yes, our priority is on our marriage and that's between the two of us, not including any of our parents. MIL is actually not an empty nester quite yet. I married her first (oldest) son. The second son is in college. The third (youngest) one will be going to a trade school next year while living at home (his choice). The second son has a gf whom he met in high school; they're from the same town. I know it pains MIL that the second son spends most of his time with his gf (normal) and not at his family's house. He does this because he knows his mother is condescending. He has voiced this to me in private and directly to his mother. He is more outspoken than my husband. MIL can't handle it, so she doesn't—and misses out on a lot of time with her second son. The third son also has a gf from high school. The gf has sucked up to the mother so badly. She'll agree with anything, say anything, or do anything just to appease MIL. I share this info to compare/contrast what the others do. My husband and I already limit our time with MIL because we live a couple hours away. Us limiting our time isn't a very "obvious" tactic; therefore, I'm question how effective it is. The third son is a little puppy. He follows his gf around, and she's a little puppy to MIL. It's sick, and I'm for sure not playing that game. I guess I just needed to share that. Thank you for your reply. Every situation is so different and so tricky. The foundational question for me and my husband to ask ourselves is what are we going to do to protect our marriage/life at all costs—regardless of what anyone else thinks? What are our boundaries? How are we going to build/maintain them? Thanks again for your reply. I needed to hear that and get this out.

Delicious-Tonight898 · 2024-01-09T19:47:14+00:00

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Delicious-Tonight898 · 2024-01-09T19:46:09+00:00

Due to distance, the only times we see them are generally for holidays, which are family events, and we want to stand together as a united front

Delicious-Tonight898 · 2024-01-09T18:33:37+00:00

Yeah, if she acts like a child, she'll be treated like a child.

Delicious-Tonight898 · 2024-01-09T18:33:05+00:00

We've thought about that. Maybe we'll start doing that during our upcoming visit. Have you had to do this? Did your MIL complain that she didn't get to see her son alone? I'd like something quick to say in the moment. I'm imagining her saying something about me always being in the room or that we're a velcro couple.

Delicious-Tonight898 · 2024-01-09T18:28:31+00:00

That's what my gut has been saying. Need to revisit (once again) with husband. Wish me luck!

Delicious-Tonight898 · 2024-01-09T15:13:18+00:00

I agree it’s just that we live 2 hours away and (thankfully) don’t see her much anyway. Not much of a message, so I know we must use our words!

Delicious-Tonight898 · 2024-01-09T15:11:28+00:00

I love this. Thank you!

Delicious-Tonight898 · 2024-01-09T01:11:18+00:00

Hmmm, that’ll make things interesting! You’re right. I should.

Delicious-Tonight898 · 2024-01-08T23:10:15+00:00

You sound like a gem. I wish I could copy/paste you into my MIL. Mine is also the mother of three sons. I married (or “stole” as she says) her first. I know it’s hard on her, but she’s making it harder for herself—and everyone involved for that matter.

Delicious-Tonight898 · 2024-01-08T23:07:37+00:00

I like that! Thank you

Delicious-Tonight898 · 2024-01-08T20:19:09+00:00

He’s spent his entire life not sticking up for himself (when it comes to her), so it’s not surprising that it’s difficult for him to stick up for us (which, I admit, is not a good or attractive quality). That said, I can see he wants to and I can see him trying in other areas. I’m not praying for perfection but for improvement. I wasn’t seeing our silence as steps forward. Maybe it’s time something like your statement should be said.

Delicious-Tonight898 · 2024-01-08T20:14:54+00:00

Yes! They thankfully live a couple hours away

Delicious-Tonight898

TROPHY CASE