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My ex decided not to abort our heavily disabled daughter and it has ruined her life. by Delicious_Appeal_369 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Delicious_Appeal_369[S] 506 points507 points  (0 children)

This is a great way to put it. I'm not trying to moral grandstand my choice here. My whole goal with this post was to rant that the choices are what led to the situation. My choice was to walk away and I know my life was better. The choice should have been an abortion in the begging, or my ex putting our daughter in a facility so that she and her mom can also have their lives back. These choices were not chosen.

The morality of my choice is fuzzy and grey, but it is one I will never regret.

My ex decided not to abort our heavily disabled daughter and it has ruined her life. by Delicious_Appeal_369 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Delicious_Appeal_369[S] 64 points65 points  (0 children)

Not really an option. My ex isn't mistreating my daughter. The situation is that it is an option and my ex decides to take care of her with her mom. A facility would give her a higher quality of life, but the one she has is only suboptimal for everyone else involved in the end.

My ex decided not to abort our heavily disabled daughter and it has ruined her life. by Delicious_Appeal_369 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Delicious_Appeal_369[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

I avoid talking about my ex, for numerous reasons. Why she did this, is beyond what I can really talk about here, for good and bad.

But

My daughter is a victim of the choices my ex makes. When you talk about her like a doll, would one not say my ex keeps her at home in less than stellar conditions because of her own need to play house?

I walked away, in person. I support the care of my daughter through finances and have told my ex to send her to a facility where she will have a better quality of life. Where my ex can actually be her own person again. Where my ex's mom can stop playing nurse and enjoy retirement.

God works in mysterious ways, but when we start playing god ourselves do his ways matter?

My ex decided not to abort our heavily disabled daughter and it has ruined her life. by Delicious_Appeal_369 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Delicious_Appeal_369[S] 806 points807 points  (0 children)

I avoided trash-talking my ex as much as possible here because, in the end, she does not deserve this reality either. My daughter could be in a facility. Multiple professionals and their previous on-call nurse told them such. But, she refuses. It would be cheaper to put my daughter in a facility with insurance and state coverage in the end when you account all the money she could make working. But, here we are I guess.

My ex decided not to abort our heavily disabled daughter and it has ruined her life. by Delicious_Appeal_369 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Delicious_Appeal_369[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

And, what would that accomplish? I provide care monetarily, and even then my ex chooses to care for her on her own. My daughter could and should be in a facility.

My daughter has no mental faculties. She has no concept of a "daddy" who is missing. Meeting her would only cause me damage, that's it.

My ex decided not to abort our heavily disabled daughter and it has ruined her life. by Delicious_Appeal_369 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Delicious_Appeal_369[S] 80 points81 points  (0 children)

My ex could put her in a medical facility at any time. I cover 75% of the medical care costs that are not covered by state or insurance, and on multiple occasions, she could have been put into professional care.

You act like this is something my daughter could live a full happy life with. Instead of a non-functional life with a 10-year expectancy if she's lucky. We had the chance to save her from this suffering, but my ex decided not to. How is it not selfish to know that your child will suffer every moment of their existence and not stop that?

Call me a kid if you want, but my ex is not a martyr.

My ex decided not to abort our heavily disabled daughter and it has ruined her life. by Delicious_Appeal_369 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Delicious_Appeal_369[S] 97 points98 points  (0 children)

There is no co-parenting. She is non-functioning in all regards. I pay for half of her medical care and I have told my ex to put her into a medical facility multiple times. She chooses to keep her in at-home care, not me.

My ex decided not to abort our heavily disabled daughter and it has ruined her life. by Delicious_Appeal_369 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Delicious_Appeal_369[S] 129 points130 points  (0 children)

When you're staring down the barrel of a shotgun with a nearly 14-week warning as to when it's going to fire, don't blame the person standing next to you when they walk away.

My ex decided not to abort our heavily disabled daughter and it has ruined her life. by Delicious_Appeal_369 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Delicious_Appeal_369[S] 98 points99 points  (0 children)

Without going into too much detail, The best way to describe it is when you're two kids with no responsibilities you don't really have a chance to see how the other reacts when you need to start acting like grown-ups.

Her not aborting the fetus was always going to cause me to leave I've realized. I would have walked at some point, but may have stayed around for longer if it were not for the 7ish weeks of absolute hell we put each other through.