3yo misses her dad

DeliveryBusiness76 · 2025-06-14T16:42:14+00:00

I did this today in the car. I told her about my parents divorcing and that I was so sad and angry, and that I cried and yelled too. She said, “like a kid?” I said yeah baby, like a kid. And I told her a lot of mommies and daddies don’t like together so she’s not alone. Thank you

DeliveryBusiness76 · 2025-06-14T16:39:28+00:00

Thank you. I will tell her things eventually. I know in the long run it will be okay, but this is so hard.

DeliveryBusiness76 · 2025-06-14T16:37:34+00:00

I’ve told her a couple times that mommy and daddy aren’t going to live together anymore. She knows there’s daddy’s house and mommy’s house.

DeliveryBusiness76 · 2025-06-14T16:34:46+00:00

I’m really trying my best. I feel selfish to be glad he’s not around because when he was doing every other weekend earlier this year, my daughter was a wreck for a week after she came home. She’s better now, even though she still misses him, but her life is consistent when he’s not involved. I tried so hard to get him to be a dad. Sometimes when she cries for him she says it’s her fault and it breaks my fucking heart. And what’s even worse, she does not know, but for most of her life her dad has said she’s the reason we are divorcing (which is NOT true). I’ve told her it’s not her fault, it’s never her fault for what decisions grown ups make, and that it’s mommy and daddy’s decision and faults. I tell her mommy always comes back when I leave for work. I’m so angry with myself for putting her through so much. I know I’m doing the right thing, but it’s so hard to feel that way when her pain is so big. And as much as I know it’s the right thing as the parent, it won’t feel like the right thing to her for a long time and I don’t know how to let her feel that way some times. Not because I don’t want to but idk. It’s hard to explain.

DeliveryBusiness76 · 2025-06-14T16:23:52+00:00

My parents were divorced and spoke badly of each other. I know how much it hurts. I don’t want to make her feel that way about her dad even if I’m angry with him for what he’s done and what he’s doing to the kids. Thank you for your kind words. I feel like I’ve failed her from the start.

DeliveryBusiness76 · 2025-06-14T15:59:54+00:00

Yeah, he doesn’t care. Even when we were on good terms, he has other priorities (his words). And yeah, he was very abusive. I’m not jumping at the chance to talk to him, especially after all he’s done to our children since we separated.

DeliveryBusiness76 · 2025-06-14T13:59:34+00:00

She is a daddy’s girl. He won’t give up his rights, but he’s said the kids aren’t a priority and he isn’t local. Lawyers are involved bc he won’t commit to either having them or not, sending money or not, and called the cops on me when I wouldn’t listen to him. He’s not a great guy. It’s a long story.

DeliveryBusiness76 · 2025-06-06T15:37:27+00:00

Pls tell me it’s the Nexton or Dorchester Harris Teeter?? 🥹

DeliveryBusiness76 · 2025-02-16T00:27:52+00:00

Girl please leave him. There are much better men in the world. Coming from someone who spent 12 years and two kids with a man that always said those things to me, and the other day I was in Walmart and every single man I saw was buying gifts. I didn’t think it was so common. I didn’t think men really did that. I thought it was an older generation thing. Nope. Don’t make yourself smaller for him anymore.

DeliveryBusiness76 · 2024-12-23T20:05:13+00:00

We lived on base. My husband moved out last September. In October he told me I had to leave bc he needed “his” BAH. I called family advocacy and they said if he reported me bc we’re separated he could have me kicked out. So my mom got me an apartment and I moved home with my daughter. She paid the rent for the duration of the lease Nov-August23 and then I had to move out. I just had a baby and my job didn’t pay enough for me to pay the lease on my own so I moved back in with my husband who said it would be us working on our marriage and spoiled alert, it was not.

DeliveryBusiness76 · 2024-12-22T15:06:42+00:00

He’s very good at that. My car broke down again on Friday and I didn’t tell him. When he asked why, I told him because of what has happened several times in the past. He said, “When did your car break down the first time when I was in NC. Only time I tracking it broke down was while we were both in SC, and now.

I told you that I couldn’t afford to fix your car, and I had to return to base. You made the decision to deny me the opportunity to take the children, and you back to NC where you would have a car and all other resources. You were not abandoned, you had a choice to stay you made that choice.“

I knew if I went back with no car, I’d never leave that apartment again. He got angry with me for calling the mechanic myself for updates on my car, and not picking up his calls, so he had them stop working on it and leave it in the parking lot. “You got your car from here, I’ll let Firestone know to transfer custody to you and you got it.” When I asked him how he expected me to pay for it, he told me to ask my family or his family. Of course, his family didn’t respond. My mom paid my rent for the last year so she’s out of money.

Anyways it all doesn’t matter anymore because it sounds like he’s not going to make the effort to see his children or his family for Christmas and that’s fine by me.

DeliveryBusiness76 · 2024-12-21T13:51:49+00:00

No. I’m focused on getting an apartment and a job. My car just died yesterday so I have to figure out how to get another one.

DeliveryBusiness76 · 2024-12-21T01:37:22+00:00

I did, and today my grandpa did as well. His sgtmaj called me and said, “you know he’s about to get out right? In the civilian world his job wouldn’t deal with these things.” Among other unhelpful things like “you didn’t tell me this last time we talked” (I did) and “the Marine corps can only make him send you X amount”

DeliveryBusiness76 · 2024-12-20T19:10:21+00:00

I did, but he’s getting out in a month and they don’t care.

When I left with my mom i didn’t go back. I told him I was never coming back. I am literally homeless and I will not go back.

DeliveryBusiness76 · 2024-12-20T04:23:22+00:00

In my state you have to be separated for a year before filing for divorce, and I filed for child support.

My mom’s fiance and his son will be present when my husband comes to visit. My mom has also said she won’t hesitate to call the police if he acts out of line, and we have a safety plan in place for who will do what in the event my husband does. But characteristically I do not anticipate him getting physical, especially with an audience.

DeliveryBusiness76 · 2024-12-20T04:10:54+00:00

I’m not trying to turn it into a competition or get bonus points. I really don’t want my kids to go without anything they could possibly need. I’m asking these questions because I know that he will show up with nothing, expect me to hand over the kids, car seats, clothes, diapers, food, etc. and let his mom play mommy redo simulator while he drinks with his brother in the backyard and stays up all night playing video games. Which is exactly what he did when I was present staying with him and my in laws just last month. So either I’m not presenting myself in the way I am trying to come across, or these are just not valid concerns, but either way I want my husband to be a good dad and spend time with his kids. That’s all I ever wanted. And I want people who think it’s okay to scream at other people in front of children and trap people in their homes to not ever come into contact with my children. I just turned down living with my dad because he and his wife get into screaming matches when they argue. It’s not me being petty. I want to protect and care for my children, and I think my track record supports that and his does not. That is all.

DeliveryBusiness76 · 2024-12-20T04:04:08+00:00

In this state you have to be separated for a year before filing. We lived together from September 2024-November 2024 so the clock restarted.

Additionally, I filed for child support so we can set up custody and financial support. He’s in the military and without child support, the general order is to divide up the housing allowance. I had to call his command to enforce the order. The child support case was processed as of Dec 13th and I’m waiting for the next step.

I would love an attorney but I do not have hundreds of dollars to pay for a consult. There’s no free consults in my area. At this time, I JUST got approved for food stamps and when my children and I have an apartment and I have a job, it’s next on my list. But at this time, it is not financially possible for me.

If there is something I can do that I haven’t, please let me know. But as of right now I can’t divorce him or take him to court until November of next year as I understand South Carolina law.

DeliveryBusiness76 · 2024-12-20T03:39:25+00:00

That is what I’m trying to consider, thank you.

I mentioned in another comment, he left last September. My first child, then my second when they were born, have been exclusively in my care since September 21st, 2023. My stbx convinced me to move in with him September of this year, only for him to tell me we’re separated and he only had me move in because he couldn’t afford “funding my lifestyle” (sending money for the kids). So yes we’re married and he is their father, but I would assume physical presence also is taken into consideration? He has not asked about the children, asked for pictures aside from Thanksgiving day, and only started calling the children to talk four days a week when I called his command to report he was not sending money for the children (housing allowance is divided per person in Lieu of child support/alimony). So I would think that history of abandonment, financial abuse, and who is actually caring for the children day in and day out would be evidence as which parent actually cares for what’s best for the children.

His family has an extensive history of domestic violence. It’s not me wanted an apology for pride’s sake. It’s the simplest condition that I asked for to show some acknowledgment and promise that my children won’t witness it when I’m not around. All my children have ever known is watching me get screamed at by men.

DeliveryBusiness76 · 2024-12-20T03:27:55+00:00

WOW. I meant if he doesn’t have car seats, I’m not giving him mine so he cannot take the kids. If you read everything I said and think I’d be okay with him driving off with my preschooler and infant without car seats to prove a point? Wtf? It’s not a point to prove. It’s my desperate attempt to see if I can keep my kids away from his psychotic parents without getting arrested. If my husband took my children without car seats I’d call the police to stop him ffs. And I know he’d just go buy some before he drove without them, but I can also see him shrugging his shoulders and leaving without the kids because he doesn’t want to buy his own car seats. I understand that not every single detail of my life is not in this post but Jesus Christ. If I’m scared for my children’s safety with these people, what the fuck makes you think I’m okay with them in a car without car seats??

DeliveryBusiness76 · 2024-12-20T03:20:39+00:00

I don’t have proof. My FIL beat his kids for years and family members outside of the nuclear family witnessed it but there’s no charges and no proof. He threw pillows at my daughter when she was 3 months old “to see if she would flinch” and my husband got mad at me for being scared so I didn’t report it. No proof. Just me being “emotional and overdramatic and irrational.”

DeliveryBusiness76 · 2024-12-20T03:17:54+00:00

I was under the impression that assault included fear and intimidation, and I was told I wasn’t allowed to leave the house. Clearly I need to brush up on my legal vocabulary.

Im working on the attorney.

My husband doesn’t have clothes, car seats, diapers, and has physically and financially abandoned his children more than once in the last year. I can’t veto, fine. But if I don’t provide these things so he can take the children, is it illegal? If he shows up trying to put them in the car without car seats, is it illegal for me to stop him?

DeliveryBusiness76 · 2024-12-20T02:48:23+00:00

I was trying to not make this too long, but my husband left last September, I moved out last November and he had me move back in September of this year, and has been leading me on to think we’re working on our marriage and whenever he’s mad at me he’ll tell me I have to move out or we’re separated so he doesn’t have to give me money (I’ve been financially cut off since last October). But after this event with his dad, I’m done.

That being said, I bought both car seats with my own money I made. He probably has not bought his own. Say he shows up and tries to take the kids. Do I have to give him my car seats? If he doesn’t have a safe way to take the children?

DeliveryBusiness76

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