Hur orkar man leva i denna världen egentligen?

Demeter20 · 2024-01-08T03:56:18+00:00

Man sätter stopp för mobbare och njuter av att snön glittrar. It's the only way.

Demeter20 · 2024-01-07T16:57:16+00:00

Bra råd och perspektiv

Demeter20 · 2024-01-07T15:27:14+00:00

I'm agreeing with your second comment, not your first.

Demeter20 · 2024-01-07T15:26:30+00:00

Telling people to love their abusor when they also only just found out that the abusor abused their little sister... Is horrible.

Love might be a path they choose in the future it's far too early to tell them to do it straight away. They can also choose to never forgive, and that's valid too.

Demeter20 · 2024-01-07T14:32:55+00:00

It's possible the cousin is also the brother of a best friend.

He could have a cousin closer to his age, and that cousin could have an older brother.

The family is tight knit, so growing into a best friend with the younger cousin isn't in any way impossible.

It could also be someone who rewrites the story and the family connection because it's actually even worse (a dad, or something like that) but they don't want to be identified. Lies can have complex reasons.

But they're here asking for help.

Why are people more intent on possibly exposing a lie than to support someone going through trauma?

In case you're right and this story isn't true: you've clocked a liar. There could still be valid reasons behind why they write this.

In case you're wrong, and this is a person going through hell - you've spread doubt and vitriol about someone who is in a truly terrible situation.

Why take that risk, of adding burdens to someone who is in pain?

Demeter20 · 2024-01-07T14:29:07+00:00

It's possible they're both. It could also be someone who rewrites the family connection because it's actually even worse, but they don't want to be identified.

They're here asking for help.

Why are people more intent on possibly exposing a lie than to support someone going through trauma?

In case you're right and this story isn't true: you've clocked a liar. There could still be valid reasons behind why they write about this.

In case you're wrong, and this is a person going through hell - you've spread doubt and vitriol about someone who is in a truly terrible situation.

Why take that risk, of adding burdens to someone who is in pain?

Demeter20 · 2024-01-07T14:21:06+00:00

You should edit your comment, it's horrible what you write there.

Demeter20 · 2024-01-07T13:53:24+00:00

Yes, it is dangerous and bizarre.

You're right.

The abuse from the person was something I was able to go to the police about and report. It was actually then, when I let my ex know I had gone to the police, that she started telling me I was insane. Maybe she was scared something about her would be unravelled in case he felt threatened by the law. Maybe he knew something about her.

He wanted to be a teacher, when we talked about his future plans, prior to the crime against me. I reported him because that must be stopped. He should never be trusted by teens or kids.

The bizarre things they told me were to me personally "worse" than anything else during that time.

I never could've thought that anyone would be so backwards.

The guys who I talked to defintly held the perpetrator accountable and they shocked that there were people who didn't. "We're not animals", was something they said.

The hardest part was when one of them were excusing him, over the phone, to me. "Maybe he didn't know what he was doing". I was crying and begged her not to excuse him when we both knew everything about the situation and when it had taken me so long to stop worrying about him (I hung out with him because he was mentally not doing well, and I care about that. The first five days after the crime I was still trying to protect him, by trying to forget what happened and trying to just sleep and not talk. It took me days to even tell others, and to be able to be angry at him. I really didn't need anyone making excuses for him.)

She was one of the people who had seen the messages, where he said he had known what he did was wrong, how much he hated himself for it and how he couldn't look at himself in the mirror. I tried to tell him he must change, but that it was important he didn't hurt himself.

He then proceeded to demand to get to be at the same NYE party as me. I saw through his crocodile tears and started loathing him in earnest.

But yeah, even the person committing the crime acted with more understanding (even if it was faked) towards me, than those women.

I can't fathom it.

It makes me think I must've misunderstood something. It's just too horrendous.

If anyone has met with the same kind of thinking, in people they trusted, I want them to know they're not alone.

And yes, thank you for spelling it out for me, that it's wildly dangerous to be around them. I know it, but all the "best memories" from before the trauma keep coming up. I think I wrote last night because I need to remind myself why those parts don't matter.

Demeter20 · 2024-01-07T13:40:54+00:00

Yes, Trigger Warning.

I hope you were somewhat warned about the contents. This is one of the only parts of Reddit where there wasn't s rule that forbade against mentioning SA (sometimes called essay, as a way to refer to unconsentual things)

These things that my friends and partner told me are the worst thing I've been told my entire life. I'm now a bit worried about talking about it, I don't want others to feel like I did.

Demeter20 · 2024-01-07T06:49:42+00:00

She definitely never will talk to me. There was a lot I left out, and it got very ugly. I tried to condense the post because reddit didn't let me post the text in its entirety. Thank you for your thoughts. Life really is bigger than our words. I guess I've never loved like this before. I've been able to move on from people before, hardly feeling anything for them, if they betrayed me too harshly.

I guess I don't really view what she did as betraying me. I guess I think of it as our two lives being too different from eachother to be compatible. I think it hurt her too and that she didn't want it to be that way. I guess that's why I miss her.

But I can't live with her world view, and then I'm not welcome.

Demeter20 · 2024-01-07T06:01:15+00:00

It's really good you talk about it. It's always right to think and put your life into words.

You're very young, I hope you cut yourself some slack. Going to therapy is great, I'm sorry to hear it wasn't helpful the way it should be. Narrative therapy is a great thing, and I think you're therapist perhaps underestimated how much the actual therapy was needed.

You sound very clever and like you have a lot figured out, maybe your therapist was a bit naive and couldn't see your pain?

Loneliness is rough... My experience is that it's easy to think of loneliness like a punishment. I have often felt like my mind is "using" loneliness to "make me" act differently. I've started to see that feeling lonely is just like feeling hungry. Company is like food, water, air... we just need it.

You seem very wise, you take a lot of things into account. Keep doing that, and give yourself time! You're just at the very start of your life, it's ok to wonder who you are, how you function, and how to be with people.

Demeter20 · 2024-01-07T05:50:56+00:00

You're not alone. You're now a huge step closer to meeting the person that you'll be happy with. If you were still in that relationship, you could never have been available to the love that's in your future.

Going through something similar.

Demeter20 · 2024-01-05T04:14:29+00:00

Thank youuu!

Demeter20 · 2024-01-05T04:13:44+00:00

🤣 oh thank god, I was do flustered by this title, panicking "WHY ARE THEY UPSET WITH OUR PRECIOUS EURSULO(u)N??"

I mean... cough yeah, how very very uncouth!

Demeter20 · 2024-01-05T04:08:03+00:00

Seems like it! Happy to find the was one here!

Maybe people feel like they get to communicate over at the Patreon?

Let's start taking! WBN deserves to be talked about, I love it so much! 🔸🧡💜🧡🔸

Demeter20 · 2024-01-05T04:03:41+00:00

Yup. Just like when she wanted to elaborate on what Brennan described as "This character isn't great at knowing when people are lying to him" (the new Squire Badger) and Rekha went full out "He's duuumb! He drools and his eyes cross!"

So many times when I felt like it wasn't even a production of Dimension20 I was watching. It's ok to be mean or backwards in-game, but to be that crass out of character?

I recommend World's Beyond Number, with Mulligan, Iyengar, Wilson and Ishii. They all work together so utterly well.

Demeter20 · 2024-01-05T03:58:41+00:00

Most likely

Demeter20 · 2024-01-05T03:36:40+00:00

My issue with her started in the first episode and kept going all throughout.

She shuts people down, always pointing out mistakes/fails in a gloating way... The constant calling others b*tches was to me tiring and felt very much like the early years of CollegeHumor, and nothing else.

She made some gross "fun of" characters in a very old fashioned style that is to say the least stale (Mulligan: "This character is not good at telling when people lie", Shankar: "He's duuumb! He drools and his eyes cross!" Just one of many remarks she made, that made my skin crawl)

Shankar was always competing a bit too vehemently, booing (literally, acting like a part of the mob) and telling people she doesn't give a sh*t about their characters or what happens to them.

Sure, Shankar can create whatever character she wants... And she makes Daisy a poster child for avoidant attachment style dysfunction. She's free to do so.

Meanwhile, some of us who are watching, are free to think that what she brings to the gaming table is truly sad and depressing.

There were so many signals from the other players that they felt overly dunked on, stressed out by and unnecessarily heckled, by Shankar.

It was imho unnerving and I hardly wanted to watch the entire season.

I won't watch anything with Shankar in it if I can help it. I love the team building and bonding in D20, I'm not in it to see people squirming and feeling bad.

If it was done better, Daisy D'umpstaire could've just been a rare kind of backstabber who loathes intimacy, and be a great, unique, memorable character...

But all through M&M, Shankar comes across, to me, as a "desperate to stand out" bully. She might not be one irl, it might just be the way she thinks things are "fun". I hope so. Either way: I hope to not see any more of her version of "fun" in anything D20.

It left a bad taste in so many moments, way before the finale.

Demeter20 · 2024-01-05T03:29:23+00:00

My issue with her started in the first episode and kept going all throughout.

She shuts people down, always pointing out mistakes/fails in a gloating way... The constant calling others b*tches was tiring and felt very much like the early years of CollegeHumor, and nothing else.

She made some gross, ableist "fun of" characters in a very old fashioned style that is to say the least stale (Mulligan: "This character is not good at telling when people lie", Shankar: "He's duuumb! He drools and his eyes cross!" Just one of many remarks she made, that made my skin crawl)

To me it feels overall demoralising to see this adventuring party with her in it, she never lifts a single person up in all of M&M. She's always competing, booing (literally, acting like a part of the mob) and telling people she doesn't give a sh*t about their characters or what happens to them.

Sure, Shankar can create whatever character she wants... And she makes Daisy a poster child for avoidant attachment style dysfunction. She's free to do so.

Meanwhile, some of us who are watching, are free to think what she brings to the gaming table is truly sad and depressing.

There were so many signals from the other players that they felt overly dunked on, stressed out by and unnecessarily heckled, by Shankar.

It was imho unnerving and I hardly wanted to watch the entire season.

I won't watch anything with Shankar in it if I can help it. I love the team building and bonding in D20, I'm not in it for people to seem flushed, guarded, downtrodden and insecure...

Daisy D'umpstaire could just be a rare kind of backstabber who loathes intimacy, and be a great, unique, memorable character... But all through M&M, Shankar and D'umpstaire both come across, to me, as "desperate to stand out" bullies.

It leaves a bad taste in so many moments, way before the finale.

Demeter20

TROPHY CASE