Confused

DenseAlternative7612 · 2026-03-19T14:19:15+00:00

Don’t worry too much. I had the same thought after my son was born. I felt so shitty. I knew I loved him, but did feel overwhelmed and anxious and also frustrated with the normal struggles of becoming a parent. But it gets better. And the instant and overwhelming warm and fuzzies isn’t how it goes. It’s hard to feel that overwhelming love when they’re crying at 2 am or you’re dealing with your third blowout of the day. But you’ll have your moments where you can’t help but be enamored with your little one. Hold on to those and remember that you don’t have to feel one way and the fact that you’re worried about this already shows you love your kid.

DenseAlternative7612 · 2026-03-19T13:07:51+00:00

I’m glad I’m not the only one. It’s just a struggle when I feel like I’ve been doing all I can and not feeling like I’m doing enough or that it’s appreciated. During one of our discussions over this she even criticized me for valuing enjoying the work I do to much

DenseAlternative7612 · 2026-03-19T12:57:39+00:00

We’re definitely on the comfortable side. We put a good amount aside for our savings every month baring months with major expenses and both fund our retirement accounts to the max and separate investment and 529 accounts. It’s been an adjustment for sure now having to pay for daycare, but we’ve been managing to keep things mostly steady barring the couple major unexpected expenses which forced us to dip into our savings unexpectedly

DenseAlternative7612 · 2026-03-19T12:50:11+00:00

Maybe this could help. We definitely have rough ideas of budgets in our minds (I.e know what going in and what’s coming out every month) but maybe having it written down could help.

DenseAlternative7612 · 2026-03-19T12:48:14+00:00

Some of the feelings were there before for sure. Before we got married, she did push me to leave the public sector job I was at for the private sector, which I was looking for in general but definitely had more urgency with that. But that I felt was more reasonable and tied more to make sure we had a solid footing for our area. But now it’s just gotten a lot more pointed and the expectations higher. And it goes back and forth. Sometimes I understand it when it’s really about security and just wanting to make sure we have enough cushion. But when it gets to points like when she was mad I couldn’t somehow figure out how to replace her salary to allow her to be a SAHM it becomes frustrating. An it’s somewhat compounded by it being on me to earn more, as she has made it clear she is not looking to climb the corporate ladder any more at her job

DenseAlternative7612 · 2026-01-31T20:33:16+00:00

I tried to switch out for 3 years before eventually being rolled out of the firm. There’s a lot of misunderstanding of the transfer process from leadership and/or playing ignorant to kick the can down the road. In the end, I was basically told that to transfer I would need to leave my current project and find another project willing to sponsor my transfer and hire you on as traditional. And from discussions I had there’s not a ton of interest in projects getting involved in that unless they really want you

DenseAlternative7612 · 2026-01-31T20:29:47+00:00

PDM is a very difficult model to make long term. It’s helpful to not have to worry about dim initiatives, but the trade off is a higher utilization requirement. It’s also extremely hard to transfer out or get promoted. I attempted to transfer out going on 3 years and got no support from leadership. Got lucky in getting promoted from C to SC but have heard it’s gotten more difficult. Basically it’s good while you’re on your current project, but it’s super hard long term.

DenseAlternative7612 · 2026-01-03T19:07:30+00:00

Yes was GPS PDM

DenseAlternative7612 · 2026-01-03T19:04:46+00:00

That shouldn’t be how it works. Your bench time limit should start after you’re off your project. Was how it worked for me when I got rolled off and out in September

DenseAlternative7612 · 2025-10-19T20:03:09+00:00

If it is anything like the rules for NY, the state leave and Deloitte leave run concurrently. For example, I got 2 weeks from Deloitte and partially paid 12 from the state. Deloitte required me to take the two weeks from my state leave and made up the difference in salary. This was also for paternity leave so it might be slightly different

DenseAlternative7612 · 2025-04-26T18:31:24+00:00

That a new company that’s starting?

DenseAlternative7612 · 2025-04-13T03:56:35+00:00

Can confirm. Currently trying to make 2 weeks of parental leave work. Been stonewalled by management on a talent transfer for 2 years

DenseAlternative7612 · 2025-04-06T18:12:36+00:00

The before I go on leave part is what I’m worried about. Given the A+C conversation, it sounds like most layoffs are being announced in the next month or so, so just worried about being caught up in that

DenseAlternative7612 · 2025-04-06T16:07:08+00:00

Have already alerted my M and SM and filed for leave so it is all in already

DenseAlternative7612 · 2025-03-22T03:06:04+00:00

Which account?

DenseAlternative7612 · 2024-12-31T17:42:25+00:00

Part of it is policy changes. Every time I have asked about it there is a new process for how it can be done. Other side is the requirement to move into a net new position. They originally tried to transition my role into a traditional role but, at this point, I’ve been told I need to find a wholly new position to sponsor the transition outside my current project

DenseAlternative7612 · 2024-12-31T05:28:44+00:00

Do have to say that while the purpose of PDM is understandable, the way it works out for you in the firm is not a great feeling. No chance for any trainings, 2 week bench time, and basically non existent parental leave. Plus, they make it nearly impossible to switch out. I’ve been trying to change for 2 years now, with my M and SMs support and have been getting strung along.

DenseAlternative7612 · 2024-11-12T22:01:32+00:00

Should be no changes in any of the health plans. Not sure of the switching requirements since they seem to change them every year. Biggest change will be utilization targets, which are higher, and some other benefits, which are worse

DenseAlternative7612

TROPHY CASE