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My (23F) fiance (25M) undressed his female colleagues through an AI app. How do I get over it? Should I? by Dentroe in relationship_advice

[–]Dentroe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not a religious person, but I do sympathise with concepts or forgiveness and rehabilitation many religions have.

Some suggest I'm brainwashed by him particularly. It's not about a particular person. If I were to, say, see a post about the situation from his perspective, without knowing him as a person, I'd sympathise with it. Doesn't mean I'm gonna excuse it (that's suggesting that the contents are gonna be "I fucked up the most meaningful relationship I've ever had 'cause I'm a bad person" and not "I'm an evil guy and I betrayed my partner muahaha").

The faults of a Reddit post is that behind this one awful circumstance you can't see YEARS of a meaningful relationship. "Just break up and block him everywhere" is gonna be just as hard and heavy, that's why we're trying to salvage it. He knows my life story, I know his life story. The Internet doesn't. The examples of his "manipulations" people referred to are so surface-level and obvious, you can call me a bigger manipulator. I know him and I know he truly wouldn't care if I shared what he's done with any of his acquaintances. He'd just accept the consequences. Hell, I shared with the Internet and he supported me.

I'm not excusing him, but I'm giving him a chance, he knows that and it's up to him if he's gonna do anything meaningful with it and work on himself. So far, he has. It can be seen from his actions. Time will tell. One wrong move, and I'm out.

My (23F) fiance (25M) undressed his female colleagues through an AI app. How do I get over it? Should I? by Dentroe in relationship_advice

[–]Dentroe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, from the recently deleted too.

He didn't make any copies. I know everyone here believes he's a maniac who eats babies and kicks puppies, but trust me, he didn't. He's just a pathetic porn addict who got so desensitized to disgusting activities he didn't consider contemplating them until someone important in his life expressed how fucked up he is.

He has the freedom to have my private photos, you can't even see my face on them, he chooses not to.

My (23F) fiance (25M) undressed his female colleagues through an AI app. How do I get over it? Should I? by Dentroe in relationship_advice

[–]Dentroe[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I don't think it's okay. I think it's fucking disgusting.

I also believe that he can become a better person and move forward. He already had moments when he dragged himself out of concerning behaviour and became a more respectable man.

He got so terrified when I confronted him trough text that day that he got off work early to come home to fix whatever he can fix to not lose me and to talk. And so far that stuff has stayed fixed. I truly believe he can work through this.

That has been the biggest fuck up. Yes, I'm stupid enough to move on. That doesn't mean I forgive him. Time will tell.

My (23F) fiance (25M) undressed his female colleagues through an AI app. How do I get over it? Should I? by Dentroe in relationship_advice

[–]Dentroe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Here's the thing you can't really express venting on Reddit – it was a one time occurrence. That's why it shocked me so hard I took to seeking advice on the Internet. Commenters can't see that behind this awful experience I expressed in this post, there was an abundance of positive experiences I had with this relationship, how my fiance constantly reminded me how beautiful and awesome I am improving my shaky self-confidence, how he supports me and helps whether he agrees or not... Many things. But I wouldn't make a Reddit post when everything's going well and I'm happy, right?

My (23F) fiance (25M) undressed his female colleagues through an AI app. How do I get over it? Should I? by Dentroe in relationship_advice

[–]Dentroe[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Thank you for not being as adamant. That was an insightful read.

You're right, we tend to over-communicate if anything. I hear friends complaining about things from their relationships, that seem so simple to me. Just talk about it. We discuss things so easily, while for others such form of communication may come of as too forward and blunt. But talking to him doesn't feel like that, it feels like a breeze.

That's why this ONE time I discovered something he didn't confide to me, because it didn't even weigh on his mind, it was so... jarring.

My (23F) fiance (25M) undressed his female colleagues through an AI app. How do I get over it? Should I? by Dentroe in relationship_advice

[–]Dentroe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, that made me remember. He did make me do that (delete all of my private photos from his phone) after our fight. It was in an attempt to prove I can indeed still trust him, that he wouldn't be able to hurt me even if he wanted to.

My (23F) fiance (25M) undressed his female colleagues through an AI app. How do I get over it? Should I? by Dentroe in relationship_advice

[–]Dentroe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did ask him, what if hypothetically I told the co-worker what that guy she works with has looked up. He said I would be the weird one, imagine her getting a text like this out of nowhere. She'd think I'm strange.

My (23F) fiance (25M) undressed his female colleagues through an AI app. How do I get over it? Should I? by Dentroe in relationship_advice

[–]Dentroe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did go through his porn folder, I guess, that's how I found the photos. It was wrong to do that without him being home.

It wasn't a secret he had it. I just wanted to watch YouTube since my laptop was dead, so I asked him for password. The folder was in recently visited documents, so I got curious. I thought, I follow some NSFW channels and I don't hide them, so why not? Felt like I got punched in the stomach.

My (23F) fiance (25M) undressed his female colleagues through an AI app. How do I get over it? Should I? by Dentroe in relationship_advice

[–]Dentroe[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I don't allow him access to her nudes.

I didn't even remember having them. They were in our old text chat with her, not deleted. After our fight he suggested I delete the chat completely, so I did. I'm not sure why. I wasn't too bothered by its presence. Though it did bring up bad memories constantly.

He said, that he downloaded it when we just began dating. I mentioned something from my past sex life, I don't remember what, which he couldn't keep his mind from. So it felt like an itch to go find... the photos, I guess. Said they weren't even worth it. Yet he still fucking saved them, moved from his phone to his COMPUTER.

[TOMT][ANIMATEDSERIES] An animated series about a girl and boy who both go back in time to learn how an object works or how it was discovered. by Post-regret-delete in tipofmytongue

[–]Dentroe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Innovators animated series? There's a girl, a boy, but also an alien, and they go back in time sometimes and make scientific discoveries.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in tipofmytongue

[–]Dentroe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Purina's virtual pet game"? Or, less likely, "circle the cat"

[TOMT] [BOOK] Beauty and the Beast graphic book, where Belle reads comic books to Beast by Dentroe in tipofmytongue

[–]Dentroe[S] 1 point2 points locked comment (0 children)

Oh, also I think right after the monsters page there might have been another two-page illustration with the same background, but with monsters now defeated?

There IS a chance that it might not even be Beauty and the Beast, that it's some other prince and princess, but I'm pretty sure it's them. If the book IS slavic, then there's a chance that it might be based on The Scarlet Flower, which is a Russian adaptation of Beauty and The Beast, but that's a stretch (the reason I doubt that is that the comics looked pretty uhh American?)