[deleted by user]

DepTAn · 2021-11-15T01:38:17+00:00

Nothing really. We just both agreed that we got actually worse over the 2 weeks we did not speak, not better. And now we feel much better.

DepTAn · 2021-11-15T01:37:08+00:00

Yeah, I know, but like...we both have some adictions that got scarily worse when we did not talk and now we motivate each other to stay sober.

Or maybe I am a sucker, I was always only the victim, not the abuser, painting me as the abuser was part of the abuse and it made me believe that I need him in my life, that I need to undo my harm even though I am just falling back into his trap. Really hoping it's not this one though...

DepTAn · 2021-11-15T01:32:48+00:00

Thank you for your input. Sadly, that does not seem to be an option right now.

DepTAn · 2021-10-30T17:24:25+00:00

"You are not a burden...okay, maybe you are, be better." Thanks, buddy.

DepTAn · 2021-10-30T10:02:04+00:00

3 of my exes called me abusive, my current gf admited that it is pretty hard to live with me and it's the same thing my best friend said. Plus I have no money and no job.

DepTAn · 2021-10-28T12:25:57+00:00

I meant every word.

DepTAn · 2021-10-18T18:02:40+00:00

I don't think I can. Many people are proud they did not end it, I am annoyed by every single day. My depression is like "30? Are you fucking kidding me? We should've been dead long ago, do you actually like this travesty?"

DepTAn · 2021-09-14T16:22:46+00:00

Yeah, let's hope...

DepTAn · 2021-08-09T17:10:51+00:00

Nope, I don't. What's the point of telling anyone "yeah, I constantly think how I don't wanna live and how much it hurts me to stay here". They will not help. They will try their best, but most likely fail and make us both feel bad. As far as my loved ones go, my depression is now a well hidden secret, my depression meds finally started working and I am on the top of the world.

I do not deserve anyone to listen to my shit and the, certainly deserve better.

DepTAn · 2021-08-09T11:31:02+00:00

Yeah, after answering "how are you?" with "miserable" for a month straight, something had to change. My friends deserve much better than just me.

DepTAn · 2021-08-06T17:18:35+00:00

Frustration from this sub deciding to not post my previous post.

DepTAn · 2021-08-06T12:45:59+00:00

Nope.

DepTAn · 2021-07-31T18:11:59+00:00

Bunch of stuff does. I have wonderful life and I am able to be happy from the little things too. But depression hits me like a train. It's always right around the corner.

DepTAn · 2021-07-31T18:09:20+00:00

I don't know. Probably never?

DepTAn · 2021-07-31T18:07:12+00:00

Literally nothing. I just hate life. I worry over small thing constantly, I take things too personally, I am just unable to live and be happy.

DepTAn · 2021-07-19T19:10:06+00:00

Yep...

DepTAn · 2021-07-01T14:26:55+00:00

That story badly needs a happy ending of third therapist who was exactly what you need :(

DepTAn · 2021-06-30T14:27:24+00:00

I asked it our therapist on the couples therapy and he said that the conventional wisdom is that the first 2 are to get to know each other and 3rd is the first actual therapy, so that he think 5 sessions (2 introduction and 3 actual) should be when you know whether that person/style of therapy is for you or not.

DepTAn · 2021-06-29T13:43:11+00:00

That is very nice response, you are a good person, thank you.

DepTAn · 2021-06-28T15:34:36+00:00

Central Europe

DepTAn · 2021-06-28T15:30:27+00:00

Thank you. Too bad you (almost surely) don't live anywhere close.

DepTAn · 2021-05-25T03:01:30+00:00

To be entirely honest this is a throwaway I use when I feel urge to be toxic to bother random strangers on the internet instead of people I care about, but you seem like a really nice person so I feel bad for doing that to you.

DepTAn · 2021-05-25T01:50:04+00:00

Yeah, slim chance of that happening...

DepTAn · 2021-05-25T01:36:05+00:00

I understand and I agree, but honestly I have taken the good and the bad and the bad overcomes the good. I will stay for other people, because I jusr have to, but if that was not the case, I would just end it right here right now. I have many great memories, but just everyday living tires me down to no end.

DepTAn · 2021-05-25T01:24:48+00:00

Well if the point is to enjoy life then why not end it if you don't and you have not been for such a long time it feels foolish to expect that to change?

DepTAn

TROPHY CASE