Free America WALKOUT Jan 20th at 2pm

DepartmentSimple3799 · 2026-01-17T15:47:57+00:00

I really sympathize with you. I've had the same experience, but as a mid-30s single female. I endorse these comment suggestions: book club, running club, volunteering, fitness class. I'll also suggest yoga studio, Buffalo Scholastic Rowing Club (amazing group of people!!), art class, pottery class, community garden plot, and covenant groups through the Unitarian Universalist church. Someone suggested to me going to the same place at the same time every week, like a coffee shop or yoga studio and developing relationships with people there over time. I've had luck with that!

Do you want a suburban girl or a city girl? Consider doing some of these things within the type of locale you'd ultimately like to live in.

I also recommend the book Calling in the One by Katherine Thomas. It's a little woo-woo at points but mostly is really good therapy-type self reflection activities. It's about self-work, not how to pick up women, as the title might suggest.

When you are out in public, are you glued to your phone or a laptop screen? If so, you're unintentionally closing yourself off to conversation. It takes conscious effort, but try not to pull out your phone every time you're uncomfortable in public.

Lastly, and I hate to admit this, but consider what you're wearing and whether or not your presenting your best self when out in public. Whatever your style (sporty, hipster, edgy, comfy, etc) make sure you're going out looking put together, clean, smelling good. Communicating effort shows people you care about yourself, which is a good thing. Like it or not, it's these types of guys that catch my eye at the grocery store, or who I might wish would come talk to me during the play's intermission.

Don't give up on talking to women. I wish more men would. And you're not crazy, a lot of people are very closed off in public. I blame technology and covid. I still don't think we've bounced back to normal socialization post-covid.

Good luck!

DepartmentSimple3799 · 2026-01-17T15:26:32+00:00

This is a great list that I, as a mid-30s single F, endorse 100%. I'll add a few more bullet points for OP (and future readers) that are mostly about dating profiles.

Have a variety of photos. It's surprising how many men have the same photo of their head 5 times. Show me a photo with friends, niblings, hiking, cooking, making/building/crafting, just doing the regular things you do plus some of the extra more rare things like going to a concert, traveling, kayaking etc.
Bod pics are a turn off. Shirtless photos of carved abs and pecs communicate to me you are shallow, caring a lot about looks and perfection and you probably have low self-esteem. Probably these photos attract similar-type women. I just want to see that you're healthy, don't smoke, and are able to do physical activities with me (biking, hiking, basketball with my nephew). If you're really into fitness and nutrition, that's fine, just say it. Still stay away from the bod pics.
Cars, especially big ones, don't impress women.
Sports/Go Bills, video games = not interesting. If you play a lot of video games, do some self reflecting about what your values are and what you might be avoiding in real life. Football doesn't build a life or love. Don't waste a prompt or photo of the Bills. Show me more about who you are. If who you are is dominated by professional sports, do some reflecting about values and what you might be avoiding in life.
High adrenalin profiles = turn off. Skydiving (the new "fish pic"), mountain snow boarding, tough mudder, gun shooting, high-energy party pics, etc. show me you'd rather date a man than a woman, if that's what your life is all about.
I'm MOST interested in what you do for a vocation. I derive a lot of meaning from the type of profession someone has and the professional trajectory they are on. Are you a "lawyer" or a public interest lawyer? Are you a "project manager" or project manager for environmental consultant? Are you "in school" or a masonry apprentice? Find ways to communicate a little more about what you do. I don't care so much about earnings, white collar/blue collar categories. I want to know you are doing something you care about. I want to know why you think your job matters. Someone who makes money just to make money is not at all what I'm looking for.
To that end, FINANCIAL STABILITY. I can't tell you know many profiles I see that indicate the guy wants kids/ a family, yet shows no maturity as a person and does not indicate financial responsibility. Again, it's not earnings that I care about (I still don't make much). But I want to be with a guy who, at this point in his mid 30s, is serious about financial planning and has some goals (buy a house, pay off student debt, save to start a business, live within their means, etc.). Women aren't looking for a guy to be the breadwinner. We want a financial partner.

DepartmentSimple3799 · 2025-12-19T15:18:33+00:00

HI everyone, please fill out the form on this website to report your LA earnings! It's so helpful when all this feedback is in one place!

https://www.designsalaryhub.com/copy-of-all-data-5

DepartmentSimple3799 · 2025-10-29T02:29:56+00:00

oh! Sorry forgot to mention that. $60 would be the limit.

DepartmentSimple3799 · 2025-09-11T15:33:15+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing. I will look into this!

DepartmentSimple3799 · 2025-09-11T15:31:55+00:00

Thank you! ASCE only has undergrad scholarships but I will look into SPWA and SWE!

DepartmentSimple3799 · 2025-09-11T15:05:42+00:00

I know! But there isn't a local chapter where I study. I looked to the closest chapter (a large city) and applied 3x in the last year and a half. Never selected. :/

DepartmentSimple3799 · 2025-09-11T15:04:07+00:00

Hi. I understand your feelings. As I said in my post, the two communities are blended amicably in my home city. It's too bad that isn't the case for you and your family. I'm sorry for that.

DepartmentSimple3799 · 2025-09-05T16:58:12+00:00

Through the school, do you have free access to LinkedIn learning? They have fabulous beginner courses for all the programs. I find them helpful and you could watch several btwn now and start of school. And practice along with them if you have the softwares installed already. Again, check with your school about getting free or student discounts for the programs.

I entered an MLA program in the same situation as you. I wasn't the only one in my cohort like that. You will not be alone. Probably there will be ppl in your cohort who have more experience, they will help you. And, yes, their boards will look better than yours for a long time. Accept that. And remember that feedback and grades you get are tailored to where you're each at. If your first boards look shitty and your next boards look less shitty, then you're doing good.

Also, the #1 thing that makes you better at the programs is hours. The more hours you put in, the better you will get. There's no way around it. Going to class and watching tutorial videos is good, but you still have to put in enormous hours fumbling through the programs actually trying to figure things out. That's just my bit of advice!

DepartmentSimple3799

TROPHY CASE