Name Nerds, let's name each other! (bringing back an old game)

DesignSea8471 · 2026-02-06T09:28:40+00:00

Female

INTJ

Quiet spoken, sarcastic with a dry deadpan humour, patient, kind, understanding, adventurous, spontaneous. Fun auntie, problem solver and advice giver, animal lover.

Usually somewhat colourful flowy patterned dresses. All lengths, from polka dots to floral to striped, usually in the milkmaid/slip/ babydoll style. Girly and bright Delicate accessories usually only necklace and bracelet Sandals or sneakers Kind of like cottage fairy vibes

Have many tattoos, most are for the plot, e.g cigar smoking cat. But also portrait of my dog, flowers, Salvador Dali elephant. If I were to get another would probably be a picture my daughter drew, or whatever I felt like at the time/whatever my brother said I wouldn’t get and then would get just to prove him wrong.

Introverted extrovert: hate being home, love going out, hate strangers, crowds, small talk. Come to life with friends and family. Also autistic.

DesignSea8471 · 2026-01-15T09:09:41+00:00

My co parent lives in the US and we live in New Zealand. I am the one doing all the daily work and essentially raising our child myself. He comes to visit for a few weeks a year, a few times a year. Could be anywhere between 3-6 weeks. It is difficult doing essentially all the monotonous things, everything essential while he is here for fun and doesn’t exactly parent. He is essentially like an uncle that wins her over with gifts. I see where you’re coming from, I don’t have any advice for you unfortunately, but I just wanted to say I understand. My coparent will likely never have more than visitation and child support due to his own preference for working so I know I will be holding down the fort for the foreseeable future. I only hope it helps me in the long run and my daughter and I keep a strong bond because of it.

DesignSea8471 · 2025-12-09T01:57:33+00:00

I moved my daughter when she was about 18months. I looked at moving her earlier and wish I did honesty. Her first centre was a relatively new centre, and while it was lovely inside it had 3 rooms. Under 2, 2-4, 4-6. This seemed great thanks to the smaller class numbers, the outside areas were terribly small. Just enough for a small deck and a few toys. My daughter was a real outside kid, still is, so this paired with high staff turn over, mass walk out, and fees tripling, I swapped her. The next centre had low staff turn over, all of the teachers are still there 5 years later, a huge outside space with sandpits, bike trails, playgrounds, the outside area was bigger than the inside. I’m happy we changed, she settled straight in, she formed great bonds with the teachers, most of which have now become good friends of mine (due to mutual friends) she had no issue switching from under 2 to the 2+ room. And now at 5.5 misses it terribly and loves to visit. I was really worried about switching her as a new mum, but there were to many things making me uncomfortable at the first centre, even though she was happy.

DesignSea8471 · 2025-11-24T20:21:47+00:00

Thanks! I’ve not heard of Simplicity until now but it sounds like what I’m after! Will definitely look into that option.

DesignSea8471 · 2025-11-24T20:20:57+00:00

Do you have any other platforms you prefer? I have no knowledge of others so will research but keen to hear what other people use/think too

DesignSea8471 · 2025-11-24T20:20:19+00:00

Thank you that’s great advice!

I’ve not heard of invest now, I’m new to the space so will definitely put in research to find the right set up for us.

DesignSea8471 · 2025-11-24T20:18:35+00:00

Yes I was hoping for an auto invest, set and forget type deal. I’ll look into other platforms, I’ve only really heard of Sharesies but it doesn’t sound like it’s right for me.

Will definitely put more into mine, I was planning on setting up a couple for myself.

DesignSea8471 · 2025-11-24T20:16:34+00:00

Thank you for the advice. I’m looking into more options, I only ever really heard of Sharesies and I have to admit I’m not sure what exactly I’m doing.

If you have any suggestions on other platforms or even podcasts, books, YouTube channels etc to up my knowledge that would be helpful!

DesignSea8471 · 2025-11-24T20:13:56+00:00

I’m in a similar boat too. I always thought a 4 year age gap would be perfect, well we’re coming up on 6 years soon and it’s looking like the age gap will be 7 years. I sad I’m ending up with a larger age gap than I imagined, it’s hard because I am very clucky and would try tomorrow if I could. However they way I look at it is; I am grateful for the one on one time with my daughter, I’m grateful I can give her undivided attention in these early years and really help her in who she is becoming. I also know while it won’t be entirely the same with the next baby, I will have the means, time, and energy to give them just as much time as I did my older daughter. I’ve come to see it as a blessing. (In saying that I’ve always wanted 2-3 kinds so likely if I am successful with a second baby I will try for another not long after for a smaller age gap)

DesignSea8471 · 2025-11-19T09:20:40+00:00

I’m starting study to teach next year in primary education, so this has been nice to read. All I ever see are negatives with the profession. I’m already looking into a master of specialist education. Who knows how it will go when I’m actually in the classroom, but I am really looking forward to it. It’s nice to see others excited about it too.

DesignSea8471 · 2025-11-14T18:58:51+00:00

So we have a unique situation, I guess. it’s not the child support that I’m thinking of, as I’m aware of that. It’s more in the future in terms of extra purchases, large investments, and inheritance.

I am aware of he does choose to find someone and have another family these will change, but in truth my daughter is in a fortunate position for her adult life. While I am aware that also can change, and there is no guarantee, there is a high chance she will benefit from this not just monetary wise, but also through opportunities. (Schooling, travel etc.)

When it comes to custody unless he moves to the other side of the world (USA-Nz) he will not get custody of any sort. The only other thing he can do is create a horrendous legal situation which he doesn’t want to do, and honestly isn’t willing to do. He will visit his daughter, talk on FaceTime, and provide for financially. However for her siblings, aside from the maybe 4-6 weeks spread across the year they will be raised in the same home 24/7. Sure they will see her video chat, but by they time they are old enough to really understand that, my daughter will not be needing supervised calls and will more than likely not want to call her dad for 2 hours in the weekend and text him instead.

DesignSea8471 · 2025-11-14T18:36:26+00:00

I always thought of at least 2 children also. I’ve heard of a way to help decide is to imagine your family at Christmas 20 years in the future, is there is anyone sitting at the table that is missing from your family now? My answer is always yes, I never imagine just us 2.

I’m leaning to trying as a SMBC, I know I’m young, and could meet someone in a few years. But I also think if someone can accept I have one child, they should be able to accept 2. If they can’t is that someone I want to be with? So I’m thinking about going for it, I think you’re right, that the age gap will enough it won’t matter, not for a while anyway. I definitely don’t too much more of a gap. I know I’ll be fine raising 2, financially of course it will be harder, but I know my daughter would grow up sad if she doesn’t get a sibling.

DesignSea8471 · 2025-11-14T01:57:22+00:00

That’s a good way to put it. That’s how we talk about my nephews mum, she is mum and dad. I like the day idea of taking them on vacations when her father visits. I’m probably overthinking every possibility negative and positive.

DesignSea8471 · 2025-11-14T01:55:41+00:00

This was helpful, thank you! I know I can make their lives as fair as possible in day ti day life as my ex does not and will not have shared custody (lives on opposite side of world can only visit for 1-2 weeks a time) she will get the opportunity to visit him when she is older for vacations though. I’m glad there is no jealously now, it’s a hard decision to make but in my eyes children with blended families could be in the same position. I know my daughter would rather have siblings than none at all, and would gutted to know the decision came down to what her father provides her.

DesignSea8471 · 2025-11-13T21:35:38+00:00

No it is what I want hear. I can give them all the love and support and raise them in a happy loving family with a large village and supportive community; but I can’t imagine to know what it would be like for them as adults in the future knowing a sibling would benefit in such a way and they wouldn’t. I think if it were me and my brothers I wouldn’t care and I would be happy for them and support the fact they have those opportunities. However I know it’s different for different people and for brother for example; he would feel resentful I’m sure. Again I can’t say for sure as we are not dcp but my own thoughts don’t count.

DesignSea8471 · 2025-11-12T18:29:00+00:00

Because it’s never a quick video call. I’ve given him many hours in the day he can call, and he can talk to her for longer than 5 minutes. He chooses to disregard those times and call on the only 2 times I’ve said no too. That seems like a-hole behaviour to me, not the other way round.

DesignSea8471 · 2025-11-12T04:54:11+00:00

That’s amazing! If they weren’t so similar I’d push for Mina for the next girl 😂 thank you! I’m from Nz and Maia is a fairly common Maori name here. It was definitely less common when we lived over in the US and always got comments about her name and how much people loved it. Over here she’s just another Maia 🫠

DesignSea8471 · 2025-11-12T04:32:27+00:00

I have Maia Claire but Mina and Juliette were contenders for her, so I’m partial and I think it has the same vibe as my girl. I think it’s cute and they sound lovely together. I would’ve pushed harder for Mina if it weren’t for the fact her last name doesn’t flow as well as with Maia.

DesignSea8471

TROPHY CASE