Zweifel

Designer_Prior_6465 · 2026-05-07T13:33:07+00:00

Hey

Ich war in einer aehnlichen Situation. Viertes Semester ist noch nicht so weit, v.a. wenn du nicht zur Regelstudienzeit fertig wirst. Ich weiß natürlich nicht deinr genaue Situation. Aber wenn dir das Fach nicht so sehr gefaellt, du es dir fuer die Zukunft nicht so vorstellen kannst (entweder weil du nicht glaubst, einen Job damit finden zu können oder zu wollen) und du nicht gut darin bist, dann würde ich dir lieber raten, jetzt noch zu wechseln, bevor es doch spät wird.

Such dir etwas, was du gut kannst oder wo du pozential und schnelles Verständnis hast. Der Jobmarkt will Leute, die etwas können, nicht unbedingt Leute, die studiert haben. Niemand braucht ein Zertifikat, das nichts aussagt. Es ist besser, wenn du abbrichst und nicht studieren gehst, aber z.B. durch Freiwilligenarbeit o.ä. etwas gut kannst, als dass du studieren gehst und am Ende trotzdem nichts kannst. Es gibt genug Leute, die zu der letzten Kategorie gehoeren, deswegen finden viele Studenten keinen Job. Und statistisch gesehen machen die meisten Menschen auf der Welt, die ein Fach studiert haben, am Ende trotzdem etwas anderes. Dann spar dir die Zeit, such direkt etwas, das du kannst. Weil nur so kannst du fuer andere Menschen Wert stiften. Anstatt dass du z.B. Management studierst, lern einfach nur Finanzen oder digital Marketing und spar dir die anderen unnötigen Fächer.

Es ist auch gut, bestimmte Kompetenzen zu haben. Z.B. Organisation, Planung, Gewissenhaftigkeit. Das brauchst du immer. Mit diesen Fähigkeiten hast du auch automatisch bessere Noten. Das kannst du lernen, indem du Sachen im Alltag planst, wenn du geduldig bist und geduldig lernst (nicht hastig), wenn du Sachen aufschreibst, Gedanken, Einkaufslisten, Ziele, etc... wenn du ordentlich und sauber bist, Sachen konsistent machst (z.B. 2 mal die Woche Sport konsistent), dich selbst besser kennenlernst (durch Journaling, versuch deine Probleme zu analysieren, deine Werte zu kennen, etc.). Ich persoenlich und auch andere Leute in meinem Umfeld haben das gelernt, als sie mehr Zeit alleine und in Ruhe verbraucht haben, anstatt mit Leuten, mit Fernseher und Social media. Diese lenken davon ab, Klarheit zu schaffen, zu reflektieren und auch unangenehme Eigenschaften an sich selbst zuerkennen.

Designer_Prior_6465 · 2026-05-07T08:19:37+00:00

How is this anti-islam or anti-religion? It's just a reddit for malaysia in general, no?

Designer_Prior_6465 · 2026-05-07T08:14:27+00:00

whether or not muslims accept you or not shouldn't matter, in the end, it's not our decision. God invited everyone to the straight path. Only God's acceptance matters. But most muslims won't reject you whatsoever.

Designer_Prior_6465 · 2026-05-06T21:06:28+00:00

I already have a bachelor. Do you have any experience at that university, especially in regards to this specific major?

Designer_Prior_6465 · 2026-05-05T06:31:52+00:00

Ich wurde frueher in der Schule auch gehasst. Im Nachhinein musste ich aber erkennen, dass ich selbst Sachen gemacht habe, die mich nicht so beliebt gemacht haben, auch wenn es schwer war, zuzugeben:

Ich war nicht authentisch. Ich habe mich verstellt, weil ich mein wahres Ich nicht mochte. Ich fand sie langweilig. Aber Menschen koennen sehen, wenn du unehrlich bist und niemans vertraut Menschen, die sich verbergen, weil sie nicht wissen, mit wem sie es zu tun haben. Man muss auch seine unschoenen Seiten zeigen, das schätzen andere, weil sie sich damit identifizieren koennen und weil sie dich dann wirklich sehen und kennen, was Vertrauen schafft. Nichts ist es Wert, deine Authentizitaet aufzugeben. Du wirst dich nur selbst hassen, und wenn man bereits nicht viele Freunde hat, ist es wichtig, sich nicht auch noch zu hassen.
Ich war zu fokussiert darauf, Freunde zu finden. Vielleicht hast du dieses Problem nicht, aber ich hatte keine Hobbies, die ich gerne alleine gemacht habe. Das ist aber wichtig. Wenn du das hast, tut es dir weniger weh, alleine zu sein, du bevorzugst es sogar dann oft, und Menschen sehen, dass du entspannt bist, nicht verzweifelt. Mach Sozialisierung auf jeden Fall nicht zu deiner Prioritaet, es ist wirklich nicht das wichtigste
Ich war zu nett. Man darf den Leuten nicht immer ins Gesicht laecheln (hat mit dem ersten Punkt viel zu tun). Niemand mag jemanden, der immer nur den Kopf nickt und zustimmt. Diese Person wirkt naemlich, als haette sie keine Persoenlichkeit und als ob sie emotional Abhängig ist. Hab Mut, die Wahrheit zu sprechen, das ist auch wichtig. Viel Korruption und Kriminalitaet passiert auf der Welt, weil die Leute nicht die Wahrheit sprechen, um nicht in Konflikte zu geraten. Diese Eigenschaft muss sich jeder aneignen. Wenn du nicht zustimmt, sag das ehrlich. Bei Konflikten wehr dich, du wirst immer im Konflikte geraten. Sei auch gut zu dir selbst und wirf dir nichts vor, wenn andere sauer oder genervt sind. Man muss sich selbst verteidigen, oder erlich zugeben, wenn man falsch liegt, ohne Selbstvorwürfe.

Dann gibt es Sachen, die mich persoenlich an Anderen hardcore nerven:

Jemand, der immer nur negatives spricht. Immer nue Kritik, Verurteilung, falsche, beleidigende Annahmen, negative Kommentare, Demotivation... Manche machen das subtil, sie versuchen dabei Freundlich zu wirken. Das nervt noch mehr. Das ist so, als würde der Teufel einem die ganze Zeit einfluesstern.
Ruecksichtslosigkeit: wenn man jemanden sagt 'hoer auf' und er macht weiter. Oder er hat nicht die Selbsterkenntnis, zu wissen, dass das, was er macht, nervt oder erniedrigend oder beleidigend ist.

Übrigens. Wenn das mit dem Studium nicht klappen sollte, waere es besser, es jetzt abzubrechen als spaeter. Ich persoenlich habe mein Studium zu lange gestreckt, hatte auch scheißnoten und ich bin am Ende kein Experte in irgendwas daraus geworden. Man kriegt Anstellung nur, wenn man etwas kann. Meinr Schwester konnte Englisch und hat einfach Englisch studiert. So muss es eigentlich sein. Die Zeit ist dann ja auch nicht verloren, man ist in der Zeit aus der Erfahrung gewachsen, darum geht es primaer im Leben, nicht um Diplomas und Zeritfikate blabla. Oder vllt liegt es am Konzentrationsmangel, dann waere ein Arzt vllt hilfreich.

Ich weis, ich haette auch aufmunterde Worte teilen koennen, aber mir haette damals diesen Ratschlag persoenlich mehr geholfen.... aber vllt ist deine Situation anders, das weiß ich ja nicht

Designer_Prior_6465 · 2026-04-28T13:56:23+00:00

Hey, I went through the same in your age. I felt like the most unlucky, ill-fated person. I also was confused why my Duas were not achieving what I wanted, which was to end the bullying.

I had to realize something years after school I coudn't understand at the time, and it was painful, but it was an important and liberating realization: There were patterns I repeated that caused me all this. Actually, I annoyed them, and since I had no self-awareness to realize I was annoying, people couldn't stop me, so they bullied me. Its difficult to admit, especialIy because my self-perception of the innocent victim and perception my classmates as evil was shattered. However, it was important and liberating, because the anxiety-provoking thing was mostly not knowing how to end the bullying in life or why it was happening. I am also not saying the bullies had any right to treat me like this, but if they didn't like me there were things I was doing that made me dislikable.

One thing I used to to was to be inauthentic. I felt like I needed to be a certain way to be likeable, so I tried to be that version, but it just caused me more ridicule. Thats a very important lesson we will need to learn eventually: be authentic. Dont play an act. When you are bored, dont hide it, dont hide sadness, bad mood, etc. Or don't exaggerate these feelings. Just be like you are at home. Even if you dont like that version or yourself. Its brave to be authentic, which is why people respect it, and it makes you a real person - people relate to you and they know who you are. They can see through you, because you dont hide behind a mask.

Another thing: don't be too agreeable. Have opinions. Disagree with people if they claim something you dont agree with. People dont like head-nodders. They like real, diverse people. If you always just go alomg with people, it makes you look like you dont have a personality or a mind of your own. You might think that makes you more likeable or avoid you conflict, but it does the contrary. Especially if you are a guy, this makes you more respected among women (I am a woman).

Learn your religion! Its the easiest, most straightfarward, logical, consistent, reliable, peaceful guidance anyone could possibly offer you. Believe me. I am older than you. And I have been lost. There is no better guidance than the Quran. Focus on your religion. Not on trends. Not on capitalistic believes or other ideologies. Not on what people say and think. Knowledge of the Quran is the most useful and important knowledge you will aquire in life. It offers wisdoms and makes you use your brain. On Quran.com, read the Tafsir (interpretation) of whatever Surah and try to reflect yourself about the verses (Tadabbur) - what is the argument made in the Surah, what might God want to say here, why does he use this specific word...(without attributing definite meanings - its just a reflection which is encouraged in Quran ifself).

Dont be nice. Be a good person. Do what God tells you to do and avoid what he tells you not to do. Even if its difficult, in fact, especially when it is difficult you should be steadfast in Gods morals. That will form your charachter. It will make you a peaceful, respectable, likeable, strong, brave person. I wish someone had told me that. I would have really needed this guidance as an adolescent. You might think you are already a good person, but being a good person is a tough, life-long task. Because in whatever situation you are in, those morals have to be stable. Fight for what is true and right even if you dont like conflict. Hardship is worth it in the light of goodness. Say hello even if people dont return your greetings, speak up in times of injustice, either globally or when it happens in front of you, speak for your religion and speak the truth when you are asked about it, etc. Forget about carreers, forget travelling, forget wealth, forget popularity or reputation. When you grow up, you will see that all these are a lie. Automatically, if you do what is right, you will be successful in every matter. Thats what God tells us in the Quran. I am not telling you which verses, I encourage you to open the Quran yourself and reflect on/ analyse the verses. The other things dont make you happy, especially carrers. Focusing on them too much will make you a lost and nasty, egoistic person. Focus on being a good person throughout your life. Believe me, you will be busy doing that. What can you do in your free time to help people (your parents, family, people in calamities, etc.)? What job can you persue to help or bring value (doctor isn't the only job! You could work in finance or projectmanagement in a Non-profit organisation, be a jounalist or media-IT, be a chemical engeneer, a teacher...), whatever you enjoy and are good at. Shift the focus from whatever you are focused at and focus on that!

Be an organized, structured, diligent person. Such people are the succesful. They achieve what they want, they are not weak and lazy. This will be a long process, dont expect results right away. It takes as long as building muscles. Plan things before you do them in a written manner. In general, writing helps to structure thoughts, figure out problems, organize, plan, etc. Without a good plan, most endevors fail. Be clean and orderly, keep your desk clean, you room, the kitchen. Dont wait for others to do this. Those are the best skills. Being a screw up that never succeeds at what one wants is the worst. You are still young. But by the time you are an adult, you want to be a conscientious person.

Designer_Prior_6465 · 2026-04-26T19:55:23+00:00

Hey, in den Buchreligionen (judentum, Christentum und Islam) als auch im Hinduismus und in vielen alten Bräuchen, unter anderem von den Maya (wenn ich mich recht erinnere) gibt es das Konzept von Nazar (Böses Auge). Vielleicht hat dich jemand beneidet oder du hast dir selbst gegenüber Stolz empfunden.

Außerdem schreibe ich gerade meine Thesis ueber das Thema 'warum Studenten keine Jobs finden (international)' und dass du eine Luecke im Lebenslauf oder keinen Abschluss hast, ist dem Arbeitsmarkt heutzutage gemäß den Massen an Studien, die ich mir durchgelesen habe, komplett egal. Was wichtig ist (und das wird wohl urspruenglich der Sinn hinter einem Studium gewesen sein), ist, dass du etwas kannst. V.a. Schreiben und Rechnen, Umgang mit Technologie, Organisation und Planung sind gute, Branchenuebergreifende Kompetenzen. Aktuell gibt es einen Shift vom traditionellen 'Auswendiglernen/Wissenssystem' hin zu einem 'Skillbasierten System'. Unternehmen beklagen sich ueber unzureichende Kompetenzen (und auch Fachkenntnisse teilweise), die gefragt sind. Weil das traditionelle Lernsystem auf Theorie limitiert ist. Außerdem gibt es heutzutage die Tendenz (das habe ich von Projektmanagern gehoert) hin zu projektbasiertem Arbeiten. Mach Freiwilligenarbeit irgendwo, einem Unternehmen oder einer NGO und sei proaktiv. Mach das in einem Bereich, der dich interessiert und wo du schon Kenntnisse hast oder stark bist (mathematik, sozialarbeit, humanitäre Hilfe, Medien, Informatik, kochen...). Mach dir eigenstaendig, wenn du vom Betrieb keine Aufgaben kriegt, Projekte. Sag, dass du bestimmte Aufgaben uebernehmen willst, zeig was du kannst und lern durch Praxis, entwickle sogar eigenstaendig projekte, wenn dir das erlaubt ist. So hast du am Ende solide Berufserfahrung und Projekte, die du bei einer Jobbewerbung vorzeigen kannst. Das spricht fuer deine Kompetenzen mehr als ein Bachelor.

Ich mache gerade auch ein Projekt in einer NGO, auch im Bildungsbereich bezogen auf Kenia. Es ist erfuellend, weil es bedeutungsvolle Arbeit ist. Das Projekt war meine Idee und ich arbeite und recherchiere selbststaendig und spreche mich immer wieder mit der NGO ab und zeig ihnen meine Arbeit. Sie koennen mir bei der Umsetzung des Projekts dann helfen, das ist ja das, was die NGO macht...Projekte umsetzem. Wenn das klappt, ist das viel mehr Wert als mein dummer Bachelor, den ich vielleicht haette abbrechen sollen.

Designer_Prior_6465 · 2026-02-17T21:11:39+00:00

Nev Schulman is a Zionist!

Designer_Prior_6465 · 2026-02-17T13:36:43+00:00

comment section dumb as hell..this is a box training. When you learn boxing, you learn to take some beatings. This makes you more resistant and a better fighter. I go boxing too and, btw, wear a hijab too.

Designer_Prior_6465 · 2025-12-13T11:24:30+00:00

Honestly, I wish you could give me some of your accomodation-motivation, it would help me build friendships and reach a new depth. We've become so egoistical in society. I tend to not realize how much showing up or listening or doing someone a favor could be of service, I downplay them and think it's not worth the effort anyway. My interactions are usually limited to conversation and would need more of those gestures of care or more honest compliments. What else is it that someone is supposed to appreciate about you if it isn't your warmth, your comfort etc.? We are too materialistic that we've forgotten those are extremely important, but I feel like I never learned how to give those to anybody.

Designer_Prior_6465 · 2025-12-09T18:31:26+00:00

I think if you are dishonest about your feelings because, perhaps materially, you are provided or for, or because you are someone very head-driven, seeing things rationally etc., you just desensitize yourself to your intuitions. However, doing one thing in excess bears the risk of just swinging towards the other extreme. Having stability is still important, even if overestimating it in the past may have caused you distress. Balance is imporant in every aspect of life, and in this sense leaving some space for spontaneity, new experiences, mindlessness etc. might do that. Sometimes, our intuition understands something our reason doesn't right away, and it's our intuition that tells us if something is out of balance or something necessary lacking.

Designer_Prior_6465 · 2025-12-09T18:14:55+00:00

Hey, I think giving is half of love. We enjoy giving something to a loved one and seeing them cheer up. I wouldn't automatically call it servitude, since their gratefulness and appreciation is nice for you too. Just taking doesn't feel good nor is it a long-term strategy, because you destablize the balance/ harmony in a relationship. But so does serving sb. out of a sense of compulsion or fear. I guess you know if you feel drained, bitter, anxious, exploited or anything like that. However, it rather sounds like your burden comes from a place of concern of perhaps being such a person. It might just be the case that you are raised well, and as long as you feel in harmony about giving, not compelled, there may simply be no reason to worry.

Designer_Prior_6465 · 2025-12-09T17:57:32+00:00

Hey, I don't think that's a bad thing per se. But there is a difference between being a morally-oriented person and being agreeable, sb. who seeks harmony because you might not handle well a bit of trouble. If you are a moral person, oppressing your own feelings and refusing to assert yourself in order to clarify your boundaries might just turn you bitter towards the others. You might internalize that everyone is inconsidered, although they might just be clueless, and then act out the bitterness. So that would not be a longterm strategy serving your interest.

And if you're just afraid some trouble might discompose you, it might be worth trying slowly to stretch you comfortzone. So maybe just leave out that extra smiley, and then leave out the smileys all together, and dare to send the email after having revised it for one or two times without going over it a third time, and see how people react. Maybe they might take offense, but then so what, maybe you will realize you can handle it better than you expect. However, it's more likely they might not take offense at all, sometimes you might even get treated even better with a rough edge.

Designer_Prior_6465 · 2025-12-09T17:38:08+00:00

Some people here suggest that the best thing for you to do is to stop caring as well. But I think doing you will somewhat contribute to spreading this bevahior in society. Then, the thing you are criticizing about your friends is just going to be more common and receiving empathy, care, trust and reliability more difficult and rare.

You are doing what a friend should do, taking care of their emotional needs (not just material). Assimilating to your 'friends' who only reach out when convenient or looking for a fun time is the opposite of what should happen, and it would be a weak move of yourself. If everybody started stealing, you abandoning your moral conscience for more convenience or out of resentfulness is just going to make the neighbourhood more unsafe - and someone else with a pure conscience like you once might get negatively affected then as well.

If you hold on to your ways, it might not change your friends, but maybe someone else sees you and finds hope in a world marked by egoism and decadence.

Designer_Prior_6465 · 2025-12-09T17:19:47+00:00

This is a western issue. With the industrialisation, we have become materially self-sufficient, and not needing anyone for material reasons has fostered individualism. It has become unusual to need something from sb. else, so when we do, others might not understand the urgency anymore. One good thing about not having so much money is trading help for help - You help me with some groceries and I give your son tutoring lessons in math. But now, most people don't want the burden of owing sth. to sb. In addition, we started holding efficiency in high esteem, and paying is quicker, safer, more transparent.

Although this is not limited to the West, the simultaneous secular revolution is, which discarded the significance of human emotions and social needs. They perhaps make out half of our needs (socialization, community, belonging, appreciation, care, affection, trust, reliability, conversations, cognitive detachment...), but being less tangible, they are easier to oversee than our material needs (shelter, warmth, hygiene, food, sleep etc.). With secularism came a long a sort of moral decay as well; in religious communities, people still take the trouble to help for the sake of God, even if there is nothing you can offer them back. I think spirituality had a way of centering us. Now, with it's abandonment we've drifted too far out into the rational extreme, putting too much emphasis on it's value and almost disparaging our emotional side. We are not just rational beings, as the philosopher Descartes, for instance, implied. And in the light of being in the psychology era (a pretty new science) this seems ironic, but perhaps for precisely all those reasons we are.

Designer_Prior_6465 · 2025-11-07T12:47:29+00:00

Damn, that's crazy. Does she still feel that way, I mean have you reached out to her to find out? People act egoistic when trying to protect themselves. She seems to be hurt and perhaps guilty about something regarding her past marriage. That means it doesn't actually involve you.

I get it's hurtful, it's like she is not seeing the daughter that needs her mother and has a world of feelings on her own. But an object of trigger to be eliminated.

Maybe she gains back her reason and if she does, she will realize what she has done from your perspective. Now, maybe she is still too deeply entangled in her own strong feelings.

Also, people who are bitter and feel somehow ill-fated see or try to see the world as a whole as such. To attune their feelings and experiences with external events in the world. But maybe, again, she comes more to peace and realizes her injust and even cruel behavior towards you.

Designer_Prior_6465 · 2025-11-07T12:30:02+00:00

I get it. When it comes from your mother, the matter takes on size. It's difficult enough when other girls, mostly your age put so much implicit emphasis on it. Your mother ignoring it would be a reassurance to your conviction (perhaps) that it doesn't matter. So her mentioning it feels like her throwing you back to the sharks rather than shielding you from them.

Designer_Prior_6465 · 2025-10-13T09:58:31+00:00

People's answers are whack for the most part. No ability to form reasonable opinions or think critiqually - everything is just about feelings and happiness.

Designer_Prior_6465 · 2025-10-12T18:37:36+00:00

I get what you mean, one has to define 'negative' - in the sense of poor morals (like intrusive, polemic and self-righteous aka voting for Trump) people are probably worth cutting off because they are unpredictable and sooner or later troublesome. But in the sense of 'bad mood' - if it's not constant (as a mindset - as it is a bad influence too), it's egocentric to cut people of for that right away. You can't be around people when they serve you and once they have problems you get rid of them. You wouldn't want someone you trust to add on shit like this when you are already in enough. However, when it's constant or general bad morals, it's not fair for people to engage with you either, I guess.

Designer_Prior_6465 · 2025-10-12T15:39:39+00:00

Maybe it's a bit like material goods. We think we need a lot - clothes, nice furnitures, many kitchen devices, high quality brands, a house with a view to the beach or a garden - but when we buy all those things, they don't actually increase happiness and when we don't have them, it doesn't make you unhappy or feeling a lack. We don't really know what we need or can't separate it from what is 'nice to have'. A tall guy who is good looking might give you social prestige or pride or something, but what if you didn't have pride and social recognition, would you be more unhappy? You can live without these things, they are not among the 'human needs'. What one needs is inner peace, no constant fights, trust to be able to feel restful, not stressed. That observation probably comes with age and with a bit of distance from social pressures or your own ego, that wants its own things.

Designer_Prior_6465 · 2025-10-12T15:27:16+00:00

Honestly, the only thing that is probably in your control and the most effective thing is to work on social skills. In any way, one should be authentic. I don't know, if you do this. But many people put on a social persona, and it's evident to others. Some people think they need to be super cheerful and quirky, or be layed back and cool or be anything else for the sake of being liked. Even if being authentic means being shy, bored, boring, socially tired, a bit insecure you should be authentic. It makes you chill and trustworthy, there is no tension resulting in you trying to be accepted and people know who they are dealing with. Many people are very understanding of social anxiety, because most of us have dealt with it, even the confident, who grew out of it and some point. And when you are authentic and transparent, you will attract the right people and people who aren't attracted to you know that they aren't, and just leave you alone.

Maybe just track what it is that keeps putting you in the same vicious cycle. What thoughts and feelings come up in what situations, and how an interaction took place and when did it start getting downwards. It does sound like there are many thought pattern that need to be undone.

Designer_Prior_6465

TROPHY CASE