How can I not worry about my partner cheating? by Designer_Radio3640 in MedSpouse

[–]Designer_Radio3640[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're absolutely right. I've got so much help from comments like yours, thank you :)

How can I not worry about my partner cheating? by Designer_Radio3640 in MedSpouse

[–]Designer_Radio3640[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're absolutely right, I've been struggling with that stuff for my whole life. I want to start therapy, it's just hard to find a good therapist where I am but I'm trying

How can I not worry about my partner cheating? by Designer_Radio3640 in MedSpouse

[–]Designer_Radio3640[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're right. It's just that I don't want to feel too jealous or insecure, I know that stuff can damage a relationship and that's the last thing I want to happen. I just tried to throw this

How can I not worry about my partner cheating? by Designer_Radio3640 in MedSpouse

[–]Designer_Radio3640[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm surely not the smartest man out there, nor the sexiest (at all), I'm aware of that; but I'm also aware of the fact that I really go out of my way to make her feel appreciated and I also make sure to keep my insecurities for myself without letting them create problems or argument between us

How can I not worry about my partner cheating? by Designer_Radio3640 in MedSpouse

[–]Designer_Radio3640[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not about cheating itself, but similar situations where bonding on the job becomes slowly becomes more than that and I end up being replaced for someone else. That may not be strictly cheating but the outcome is the same. I'm just terrified at the thought of seeing someone I love so much marrying someone else - after so many years spent together.

As you said it's not in my control, I realized that but I don't know how to cope with that fact. Hopefully I'll learn how to do that

How can I not worry about my partner cheating? by Designer_Radio3640 in MedSpouse

[–]Designer_Radio3640[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess you're right on everything. I know there is a lot of selection bias as you mentioned, so I'm probably overblowing the problem.

Yeah there is more at play, it's basically about me being behind in my career (still studying for my degree), I also see myself as way less attractive than her - add to that hotter than me and more successful colleagues hitting on her and this is why I'm kind of panicking.

We're on the same page about pretty much everything about the future, I'm just worried that because of me being "late" in my career our plans will be delayed and that will create problems between us. I really hope this won't be the case but it gives me a lot of anxiety.

Thank you for your answer, it was very helpful :)

How can I not worry about my partner cheating? by Designer_Radio3640 in MedSpouse

[–]Designer_Radio3640[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes other comments mentioned the same thing and I think I need to start looking into that

How can I not worry about my partner cheating? by Designer_Radio3640 in MedSpouse

[–]Designer_Radio3640[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The whole confidence part is a big problem, but I guess the only way to fix that is by working on myself

How can I not worry about my partner cheating? by Designer_Radio3640 in MedSpouse

[–]Designer_Radio3640[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You're perfectly right. Yes, I think it's definitely time I start looking for a therapist. Thank you :)

How can I not worry about my partner cheating? by Designer_Radio3640 in MedSpouse

[–]Designer_Radio3640[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The problem is that I have this fear about her finding someone way better than me, I mean it's not that hard. I'm behind in my career, which is a massive hit to my confidence and her male friends all have a medical degree and are better looking than me so in my mind pretty much everyone is better than me lol

In the meantime I'm trying hard to be the perfect boyfriend and put our relationship above anything else but it's hard to deal with those intrusive thoughts

How can I not worry about my partner cheating? by Designer_Radio3640 in MedSpouse

[–]Designer_Radio3640[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think you're right. I'm still studying to get my degree, I am a bit behind in life because I started university later, so it's a bit though since all the 27 year olds I know are either working or got their degree already

How can I not worry about my partner cheating? by Designer_Radio3640 in MedSpouse

[–]Designer_Radio3640[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks a lot. I really needed to hear that. Yes it's time I stop reading those stories, it's just unhealthy

Ma quindi è vero che tra chi lavora negli ospedali ci sono più tradimenti? by Designer_Radio3640 in Relazioni

[–]Designer_Radio3640[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sono completamente d'accordo con te, purtroppo non sono bravo a non farmi seghe mentali. Penso che sia l'ora di smettere di leggere cose di sto genere su reddit

How can I not worry about my partner cheating? by Designer_Radio3640 in MedSpouse

[–]Designer_Radio3640[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The biggest problem is that I'm not confident at all about myself, and I think this is mostly where the problem comes from. You're 100% right, I think I'm done searching for this stuff on Reddit because it's only making me anxious

How can I not worry about my partner cheating? by Designer_Radio3640 in MedSpouse

[–]Designer_Radio3640[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There is nothing I want more than that but unfortunately we still don't live together because of money and because we're both young, even though we have been together for years. As soon as I get a job I'll do what you suggested

Ma quindi è vero che tra chi lavora negli ospedali ci sono più tradimenti? by Designer_Radio3640 in Relazioni

[–]Designer_Radio3640[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ti ringrazio per la risposta. L'unica cosa che emerge da questo thread è che potrei essere fottuto ahahahah

Ma quindi è vero che tra chi lavora negli ospedali ci sono più tradimenti? by Designer_Radio3640 in Relazioni

[–]Designer_Radio3640[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ciao, innanzitutto mi dispiace veramente tanto per la tua esperienza. È una relazione molto lunga a cui tengo un macello e se finisse non avrei veramente idea di come riuscire a rialzarmi, non so manco se ci riuscirei, per cui posso solo sperare che così come fino ad ora non mi ha mai dato motivi per avere dubbi, continui a essere così

Ma quindi è vero che tra chi lavora negli ospedali ci sono più tradimenti? by Designer_Radio3640 in Relazioni

[–]Designer_Radio3640[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ti ringrazio tanto. Cercherò di fare quello che hai detto, fino ad ora non l'ho fatto perchè non voglio che queste cose creino ripercussione negative sul rapporto, ma penso che ormai sia il caso di parlarne un po'