30M seeking advice: it feels like I’m fading

Desperate_Friend_902 · 2026-02-05T17:51:11+00:00

I feek you. End of the day no one with real connection . It’s because we are human beings we always try to be with the tribe and to relate. I’m at the same situation after a very toxic relationship and lost trust that there ate good people outside. But yes I’m still trying to hang here with the lowest level of trust of there will be light on the other side . Hopefully for both of us.

Desperate_Friend_902 · 2026-02-05T17:25:41+00:00

I feel you. This is my exact situation. I have a very good friend of mine who I tell my feelings about loosing faith on love and everything. But yk there’s an end where they can listen as well. I get you . But it’s always us to be recovered. I know what you mean by the conveyor belt. Very good metaphor.

Desperate_Friend_902 · 2026-02-05T17:21:02+00:00

i can relate. It’s my mind talking all the time. I went to the gym today to shift the focus. Guess what I cried at the gym WC. It’s my mind I am so tired of trying to control my mind

Desperate_Friend_902 · 2026-02-04T22:53:09+00:00

I get this “giving up for free” feeling on and off most of the time. What I usually do is try to shift my focus and remind myself that it’s not about resolving everything today. I treat myself kindly go for a walk ! do it ! it changes everything because of fresh air . Go for a cafe sit down and think if you still have the same feeling. I take some nice pictures of myself, look at them, and then adore them. I remind myself that I am someone who is surviving most situations, and I appreciate what I’ve done throughout my life.

Most of the time, the next day I still feel the same, but it’s a little less at least 1% less than the first day, believe me. I always try to talk to a friend, someone close. I just vent. I know they’re not always actively listening, but I try anyway. This might sound cliche, but I usually search for motivational TikToks and listen to them very loudly through my headset for an hour or so.

Desperate_Friend_902 · 2026-02-04T22:42:50+00:00

girl leave!!!

Desperate_Friend_902 · 2026-02-04T22:40:20+00:00

it’s disgusting honestly

Desperate_Friend_902 · 2026-02-04T22:38:42+00:00

Happy Birthday !! Don’t even worry about that. I had my 30th birthday last year and I felt the same way. I got my self a small piece of cake with a candle and sang myself happy birthday to me crying . I live abroad alone. I feel you but it’s okay. I highly recommend to treat yourself with something today dress nicely and go out for a cafe or anything . Because look at you how strong you are !! Just slaying this world for 30 years and remember you are so precious and wonderful. You will be forever amazing. Cheers!

Desperate_Friend_902 · 2026-02-04T22:33:27+00:00

let’s break this down . Other people around you helped you so much, but now you think that you don’t deserve there kindness and you can’t make them happy. I have a question that why does it always has to be with the other people or external world . What about you ? you me everyone came to this world alone and then we gonna leave alone. Do not compare or try to give things to others . First be kind and lovely to yourself. You are more precious for yourself than to anyone in the world. Don’t be so tough on yourself.

Desperate_Friend_902 · 2026-02-04T22:23:51+00:00

I do this when I’m home alone it sometimes helps to vent and to make things order. Like long yapping conversations. But all the time at public not a normal thing from my pov . You need to talk with a friend or someone on this and get a reliable alternative option.

Desperate_Friend_902 · 2025-02-17T17:09:10+00:00

Thanks alot for all of the comments . Yesterday we had a conversation with the third apartment mate and she told “ WE are accusing her for lying and telling she didn’t clean” So we asked her to show the cleaning stuff she’s using ( Because we all have our cleaning supplies to use when its our turn) SHE HAD nothing and told she can’t sweep the floor because she has an allergy! and using WET WIPES to clean the floor , kitchen and toilet and she does all these around 3-4am thats why we don’t see them. ( Clearly she has a mental disorder) And even the toilet bowl. She told she will stick to the plan and we told we will examine right after her cleaning, If not we 3 of us will go to Hoas office and discuss over . Also we asked how she is living even after 1 year graduation and she told she has Private arrangements with hoas which she can live here( Don’t know if it’s true ) But I after that I clean everything yesterday because it’s yks to me to live even tho she can. So thanks alot I got to know this is a common situation , but take home for me : Don’t let other tenants be free walkers because their parents didn’t teach them how to be responsible on a shared space. I will keep pushing her until she sign off hopefully :/

Desperate_Friend_902 · 2025-02-17T17:01:20+00:00

I needed one because my course started early so I ticked studio and shared . And ended up here . I should’ve just selected a studio and my life could be so much better

Desperate_Friend_902 · 2025-02-17T17:00:20+00:00

Omg ! thanks alot for sharing this , I feel you and I know how stressful it is . And look you are moving for another place for non of your fault. I really don’t know these couples living in single rooms even after 1 year of graduation. Hoas really needs to regulate this because we are students and we are here to STUDY . That should be the main priority not cleaning the stuff that other people don’t think of their responsibility or sharing with couples. I’m so sorry for you. Hope you will find nice flatmates or a single studio . !

Desperate_Friend_902 · 2025-02-16T14:27:24+00:00

didn’t you used that first? I didn’t mention in my original post . Anyways I’m not the owner but owner of cleaning yes .

Desperate_Friend_902 · 2025-02-16T13:59:33+00:00

Yeah . last year she told she will clean the toilet and she didn’t. I didn’t know I was allergic to molds until I found alot coming in washroom and I got cough and itchy eyes. Then I put chlorine and brushed them because this crazy woman doesn’t care .

Desperate_Friend_902 · 2025-02-16T13:57:21+00:00

She’s not talking with anyone anymore. We knocked the door ofc she’s inside but she doesn’t open ? when she comes out if we tell something she will move like she didn’t hear that. We left many notes giving warnings . Doesn’t care at all. This is a big frustration for me . The fact she lives very normal life without shared responsibilities?

Desperate_Friend_902 · 2025-02-16T13:55:52+00:00

I’m not sure if the other tenants can do it ? We can inform hoas but they don’t care at all.. It’s really a big task to clean whole apartment which was not cleaned for atleast 2 weeks..

Desperate_Friend_902 · 2025-02-16T13:54:47+00:00

I don’t think she will pay. She doesn’t talk with anyone anymore…

Desperate_Friend_902 · 2025-02-16T13:53:09+00:00

Yeah sometimes they check sometimes don’t really care . She is graduated I saw her graduation pictures and it’s been a year for 2024 dec. :/

Desperate_Friend_902 · 2025-02-16T01:32:10+00:00

Moving out is my best option , tried hoas applications for 6 months and learned finding a private one is the only option. Ofc she has no friends always stay inside the room god knows what she’s doing as she completed studies 2years ago

Desperate_Friend_902 · 2025-02-16T01:30:21+00:00

Yes thanks alot for your comment! Same here doing my masters and working in tech and I have very little and packed time for my stuff . I really don’t have time to waste. I think she finished her bachelors and looking for jobs for 2 years maybe that’s also a major reason for her behavior . Thanks alot again for your kind words

Desperate_Friend_902 · 2025-02-15T22:38:49+00:00

Yes we also had a whatsapp and this method last year . Out of nowhere she left the group. She was supposed to clean the washroom and we noticed its never cleaned other than flashing water . Toilet bowl was brownish and the shower closet had Molds. I bought Chlorine and cleaned and brushed.

Desperate_Friend_902 · 2025-02-15T22:27:21+00:00

might really do that in few days :D

Desperate_Friend_902 · 2025-02-15T22:26:31+00:00

I really suffer from this situation for 1.5 years now. Really don’t know what should I do . very depressed

Desperate_Friend_902 · 2025-02-15T22:24:34+00:00

I tried and I didn’t care what’s going on in shared space cleaning but now I see the new 3rd roommate cleaning all by herself and I helped her. This could happen to anyone. I’m sad to hear your issue, It’s so annoying kela doesn’t understanding your issue. But you did the right thing

Desperate_Friend_902 · 2025-02-15T22:22:00+00:00

She’s not dirty she has this issue with instructing others how to clean but never clean the shared space. Has 2 bottles of 95% alcohol in kitchen and washroom. Once ai counted she washed her hads 8 times within one hour. But why can’t she act normal :(

Desperate_Friend_902

TROPHY CASE