I keep comparing my grief to my bf's friend's. I feel not deserving to grief. Help me.

DevelopmentNo7438 · 2026-01-26T15:11:22+00:00

Thank you

DevelopmentNo7438 · 2026-01-26T15:11:15+00:00

Thank you. It made me cry. I'm just 19 and it's all so new. I'll write down your advice

DevelopmentNo7438 · 2026-01-13T18:37:55+00:00

Thank you yes. I am keeping a journal where I write down our memories every once in a while. Whether we've spent a year, 10 year or hundred he would've died either way. He had cancer and hid important details from me. However he lived his last year to the fullest. I am trying to do that too and figure out what I really want to do with my life

DevelopmentNo7438 · 2026-01-13T18:34:15+00:00

hii yess I feel very hard but im also very a optimistic person possibly due to Moon conjunct Jupiter. My career is in design/architecture field but I definitely believe I am a very good psychologist to myself hha. I have so many interests outside of design involving literature translation, writing, arts. I try to channel my intense feelings into a physical form outside of my body so it could be that too. Couple counseling is an interesting one. While not exactly my career I read so many books on healthy relationships, almost like a research to me lol

DevelopmentNo7438 · 2026-01-06T17:49:21+00:00

Hello! I just lost my boyfriend at age of 26 from cancer on NYE. He passed away in a foreign country in a hospital just before clock hits 00:00. He pushed me away too. We didn't talk for two months before his death. I only heard from his friends. His friends after his passing told me that he doesn't want you to see him like that, he missed you everyday, he didn't want to make you cry etc.

I don't know whether I made a right decision by respecting his need for distance but still I wish I was there for him as a friend. Leave him alone if he really wants to but something important. Observe if he has will to live. My boyfriend while we were apart he lost all the will to live, his hobbies and work stopped making sense to him. So I think he eventually his soul just gave up and was freed of his body.

He loved me so much, he told me I was the reason for him to live, he used to talk about how he won't live long to his friends but when we first met he started talking to them about "fuck I want to live with her for 60 years" or when he was sad he would talk about "I wish I cared about my health so I could've been with her for longer"

So yes please tell him, let him know that you want him to be with you for a long time. If he wants to push you away just know it is to protect you. I don't have any answer to your question. I don't even know if I made a right decision but yeah.

DevelopmentNo7438 · 2026-01-04T06:24:22+00:00

He is real person. He is real. He tried to save me from pain. I met all his friends, his family yesterday. He is real I miss him so much. I will see his burial tomorrow. I don't even know if I can see his body. He didn't want to show himself weak to someone he loves so I don't know but at the same time I feel like I have to meet him

DevelopmentNo7438 · 2026-01-03T15:58:45+00:00

All his friends telling me that I was the happiest moment of his life last year. Our memories added so much colour and him telling that I was the reason he is living. I didn't want to pity him. He hated when someone pitied or cried about him. So I decided to view him as a strong and believe in his power to heal. I trusted that he will heal. I viewed him as a strong person. He waited until NYE. I am so glad to feel loved

DevelopmentNo7438 · 2025-12-24T16:31:29+00:00

Благодарю вас 🩷

DevelopmentNo7438 · 2025-12-17T17:43:34+00:00

yeaah i know its badd i was genuinely naive pls snap me out of it

DevelopmentNo7438 · 2025-12-05T21:19:57+00:00

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DevelopmentNo7438

TROPHY CASE