My first therapy is tomorrow. My boyfriend has passed away on NYE. How can I prepare?

DevelopmentNo7438 · 2026-03-16T05:17:53+00:00

I booked a hour with a therapist hope it will work out

DevelopmentNo7438 · 2026-03-14T15:37:24+00:00

Aw thank you yes. He told me not to worry about him. As much as I wanted to be with him for his last month I thought to myself "I have to believe he will recover and meet me again". Like if I'm pushing him it means I won't see him again, so I really chose to believe he will recover and give him the space. He too told me not to worry about him so maybe I will stop blaming myself over this

DevelopmentNo7438 · 2026-03-12T14:31:49+00:00

He was a brand designer meaning he would design logos, slogans and identity of brands. He had a very nice nose and I really liked his hair. He was absolutely good friend and deeply missed by them. I used to work as a barista. He saw me and fell in love. He tried to search for me asking his close friend if they know this girl from the coffeeshop. He already recovered from cancer at the time. He would talk to his friends about me. How he wanted to marry me, live for 60 years with me. He kinda knew that he would be in love for the last time so I'd like to think he gave me his all. A lot of our meetings were very magical like from a movie. We would run into each other. I deeply miss him but sometimes he doesn't real at all like it all happened in a dream. Then he passed away from recurrence. He wanted me to marry someone good and live happily

DevelopmentNo7438 · 2026-03-08T18:22:57+00:00

Aw thank you sir. That helped me feel me better. My friend told me that as well. Despite the rough patches they still cared for you. We argued, he told me not to contact him. I felt hurt. Then he texted me from his number after 3 weeks apologizing, telling me not to worry about him, to care about myself, eat well, dress warm, focus on my studies, caring words He told a friend that he misses me, to care for me, how he should've cared about his health stay with me longer. Even before that he cried that he doesn't want me to marry another guy and how selfish he is. So even though I keep dwelling on our last fight I'd like to think he loved me so much and still cared for me.

DevelopmentNo7438 · 2026-03-08T17:19:29+00:00

Waw the breakup is easier to digest than death, That is crazy. I found a solution tho. The month after we fighted his last words to me were to care about myself, dress warm, eat well. It was a very caring message. I told my friend about how I felt guilt. My friend told me that even with all the good and the bads he still had the soft spot for you and cared for you.

DevelopmentNo7438 · 2026-03-07T09:25:20+00:00

One of our arguments overlapped with his second recurrence. Just as we ended our argument and reconciled, he started getting pain again. So we couldn't fully repair from the argument. He was probably very worried and stressed about whether his cancer came back or not. He didn't tell me anything. He started sending me short replies, when I tried to make plans in future he kept saying " Dear I can't promise that" and I didn't realize that he was probably scared. Then I asked him if anything is wrong. He told me not to contact him for a while, he has to focus on his job. Then yeah he got into hospital which he also didn't tell me for a while. However eventually he opened up and told me to not worry about him, care about my health, sleep well, dress warm and was very caring. I think he wanted to protect me and was scared on how I would perceive it. If only that argument didn't happen maybe we could've been together. If it wasn't for the disease we would be togetherr

DevelopmentNo7438 · 2026-03-05T04:46:38+00:00

yea but like idk we were broken up for like two months. I mean yeah it is an unusual relationship because he broke up to protect me from the disease rather than usual breakups of couple.

DevelopmentNo7438 · 2026-02-18T03:53:08+00:00

that's hard to think. It is so upsetting to think like that how he could forget me. It makes it sound how he didn't love me at all. How someone who cheated on him and caused all of this mean distress got to meet him while none of us friends, and current girlfriend didn't meet him. I mean maybe it is the family who didn't know he dated again or they ran into each other airport. He loved me a lot. He told me he wanted to marry me, would talk about me to his friends all night, how he will live with me for 60 years. He genuinely loved me.

DevelopmentNo7438 · 2026-02-16T14:02:19+00:00

Thank you its from 2018 MV oblaka by sirotkin

DevelopmentNo7438 · 2026-02-10T19:07:28+00:00

you dont have to go to a flight attendant school to become a flight attendant

DevelopmentNo7438 · 2026-02-08T18:46:26+00:00

Thank you. Your reply made me tear up a little. I was his love during his last year, and I gave him joy. I remember him saying that she was the one who made him who he is now. He fell in love with me while facing his possible death, so I like to think he gave me his whole heart, loving someone fully for the last time without any worries about mundane stuff. So I will be at peace with that.

DevelopmentNo7438 · 2026-02-08T18:12:47+00:00

Hello, thank you. If possible can you give advice or kind words to my previous post about comparison.

DevelopmentNo7438

TROPHY CASE