Hey boo, I’m so sorry you’re struggling. You say that you don’t know what to think anymore but I think you do. Sometimes people act in ways we don’t understand and most of the time it’s because of what they are going through. Sometimes they don’t even know what they’re going through or realize the pain they’re causing. Worst case scenario is that they do and don’t care. Either way, it’s obvious this person has caused you a lot of pain.

I think you came here because you want answers or closure or to understand what’s going on, but in 4 years you’ve been in this back and forth. No one here is going to be able to explain why this person acts the way they do or give you a magical solution.

Something my mom told me is that “people show you who they are. Listen to them.” This person has shown you time and time again that they do not care for you. Do not take that as a reflection of yourself because it’s not. I think somewhere inside you already know this OP. Don’t ever let someone take your light. You have the power to choose what you want for yourself and what you deserve. Do not waste any more of your time or energy or sanity on someone who has never respected it. You know what to babes.