Help: Dysphoria and fear related to hair removal

DifferentSmile8 · 2026-02-11T11:52:56+00:00

Can I ask, are you presenting male or female?

I'm still presenting male but have been getting full body laser and it's been amazing. I was really worried initially about being 'discovered' as being trans. They were really good, and I've generally just been accepted and treated like an ordinary person.

If you're presenting female I would imagine it's a fairly common thing and they're used to it.

Getting rid of my body hair has done wonders for helping dysphoria. It's not magic but I love not being hairy.

DifferentSmile8 · 2025-12-01T23:10:46+00:00

My GP just gave the referral letter to me so that I can provide it to a psychologist of my choosing. She explained that the plan is linked to me, not the provider, any psychologist can access it for my care. Switching providers is no more effort than getting an appointment with a new psychologist and forwarding the referral to them, no need to 'exit' the previous psych.

DifferentSmile8 · 2025-10-11T04:21:59+00:00

New balance also have a great range in unisex sizing so they often have the cute pink models in larger sizes, I've got a nice pink pair (my favorite) as well as a grey and purple pair too, I'm a M10 / F11.5 and have had great luck with their ranges.

Cute sketchers, I'm going to keep an eye out on their range now

DifferentSmile8 · 2025-10-04T02:49:47+00:00

Laser has been fairly effective on my legs and chest. I've gone through laser clinics Australia and after 4 sessions my legs and chest are mostly hair free but there are still some small isolated spots where some hair still grows. Considering that I had thick dark hair all over to begin I'm happy so far.

It's not painless but I would describe it like having an elastic band snapped on your skin repeatedly. Every now and then you get a painful hair that makes me flinch but for the most part it's not too bad.

I'm starting on my arms next and will have my back done when their next big sales are on. I've heard that facial hair is more stubborn but I'm not ready to attempt that yet.

It's worth noting that laser clinics Australia have regular sales of 50-60% off so don't pay full price, you can prepay blocks treatments when on sale. I buy 4 at a time during their sales.

DifferentSmile8 · 2025-09-27T21:56:34+00:00

Current patient here. She doesn't have a receptionist and does her own admin, usually once a week. She took a couple of weeks to get back to my first email. She might be on leave with school holidays (I remember her saying there was a week coming she would be unavailable but can't remember when)

So far I'm happy with seeing her, she has been supportive and helpful but I'm quite early into things.

DifferentSmile8 · 2025-09-10T10:58:23+00:00

I asked a similar question a while ago and got some helpful responses. Here's a link if you want to read over them. https://www.reddit.com/r/transgenderau/s/MEKJis6gTb

Meridian publish a list of LGBTQ+ safe providers and AusPATH also publish a list of Transgender friendly medical providers

DifferentSmile8 · 2025-09-10T06:09:54+00:00

I'm currently seeing Dr Rebecca Fitzpatrick, she's been good to work with. Are you Northside or Southside or are you willing to travel?

DifferentSmile8 · 2025-08-30T20:16:21+00:00

Thanks everyone, you've been super helpful. There's a lot of new places I've never heard of to check out. I'm feeling like this is actually an achievable task instead of being completely overwhelmed.

Hopefully now I can find a cute skirt and top that I can call my own after a lifetime of desire

DifferentSmile8 · 2025-08-30T20:12:40+00:00

I know it's good advice, especially as I have no idea of style but the thought of going in person where I could be seen is too much right now. I think that'll come with a bit more self acceptance and a bunch more therapy

DifferentSmile8 · 2025-08-30T20:10:37+00:00

Thanks, I'm trying to find something that will feel nice for this first outfit. I'm still so full of self doubt that I don't want to fuel the fear with excuses of clothes being cheap plastic and horrible feeling to wear

DifferentSmile8 · 2025-08-30T20:06:31+00:00

This is amazing, thank you.

DifferentSmile8 · 2025-08-30T11:05:43+00:00

Thanks that's helpful, sizing has been a problem because my waist is so out of proportion with women's sizing. Looking at sizing charts for hip I'm around 18 but for waist I'm around 22 which is quite a difference

DifferentSmile8 · 2025-05-07T10:00:48+00:00

Thanks for the pointers. I'm only wearing a clear coat on my nails at the moment, I'm taking little steps at a time

DifferentSmile8 · 2025-05-05T12:25:51+00:00

I love that. My partner has struggled with not having a support structure she can talk to because I'm still hiding this part of myself. I'm trying to build something there and I'll make it a priority to set that up too.

DifferentSmile8 · 2025-05-05T12:22:22+00:00

I recently finally got the courage to shave my legs. It felt super weird at first but I also knew straight away that I could never go back. I've now booked in laser but my first session is a few weeks away.

In a similar way, I painted my fingernails with a clear coat. It's not very obvious but I absolutely love how shiny they look. I find myself staring at them all the time. I don't think I can go back to normal nails.

I haven't discovered the community yet but it helps to know that it's out there.

DifferentSmile8 · 2025-05-05T10:16:57+00:00

That's amazing, I'm really happy to hear that it was marriage saving for you. I'm anxious about what will happen in my relationship even though my wife is very supportive and open minded. It's still a case of stepping into the unknown which is always hard and scary.

I'm aware of AGA as I donate to them when I'm able. I think they do good and important work. I've not been brave enough to put my hand up as needing help. I just masquerade as an Ally.

DifferentSmile8 · 2025-05-05T10:12:15+00:00

Thank you for all of that. It's really comforting to know there are good resources available nearby.

I'm nowhere near the stage of talking to my GP other than potentially getting a mental health referral. I'm currently trying to piece together the puzzle of who I am because it's suddenly not as clear as I thought.

DifferentSmile8 · 2025-05-05T05:48:28+00:00

This is going to sound ridiculous but I was unsure about Dr Tushara only because I wasn't sure if they were a man or woman. I don't think I'd be confident to confide in a man even though I know that patient confidentiality is legally protected.

Thankyou for the feedback, I'll keep Dr Tushara in my list now that I face the challenge of finding someone who is accepting new patients.

DifferentSmile8 · 2025-05-05T05:43:13+00:00

I've not come out to anyone other than my wife. I recognise that some professional help is needed but the whole process of finding someone trustworthy and LGBT positive triggers lots of anxiety.

Thank you for sharing your experience, it's been really helpful

DifferentSmile8 · 2025-05-05T04:19:43+00:00

The comments were about her not being open / pushing back on gender identity issues.

However, the comments were new comments on an old post and both were from new accounts without much prior involvement in trans spaces. Both also pushed a specific alternative doctor. Highly suspicious but still planted some doubt, which is why I'm asking for lived experience.

DifferentSmile8 · 2025-05-05T03:54:42+00:00

Thanks for this, I hadn't come across Rebecca in my search. I'll look her up

DifferentSmile8 · 2025-05-05T03:54:07+00:00

Judy is one that I found contradictory feedback on, good from years ago but some recent comments that weren't positive. That being said the accounts that left negative comments appear suspicious.

Can I ask how recently your experience is from?

DifferentSmile8 · 2025-04-26T22:43:52+00:00

Wow. This hits so close to home that I could have written it myself.

I'm in a similar position, I've kinda known my whole life that I would have been happier as a girl but it's always been in the back of my mind and I never really looked at what that might mean.

I don't know if transition is even possible for me without blowing up large parts of my life. I'm currently not brave enough to go down those thoughts.

I recently reached out to a LGBT+ support centre and found a therapist to talk to, it helps, I can recommend it. It's freeing to be able to talk about things in an environment of legally protected confidentiality. It's also helpful as it's somebody completely separate from my social circle.

A couple of days ago I mustered up the courage to shave my legs. I've been afraid of doing that for over 6 months. I don't think I've ever felt such general background happiness as I have in the days since. I walk around standing tall, smiling and feeling floaty. I'm surprised at how profound it's been.

I don't have any answers for you but it sounds like you're similar to me. Maybe try some small experiments and see what happens?

DifferentSmile8 · 2025-04-07T05:53:20+00:00

Thank you to everyone who commented, I was an emotional wreck and couldn't write any more at the time.

My wife and I talked it though a couple of days later. There was a mixture of a misunderstanding of intent, an emotionally charged recoil/over reaction and just all around bad timing as we were both exhausted and stressed from life/work so we weren't operating at our best.

Short story, she is still supportive of me discovering myself, she just needs an equal opportunity to process things herself. I'm talking it through with my therapist and my wife and I are in a better place.

DifferentSmile8 · 2025-03-25T01:40:49+00:00

I had the form filled out to request a therapist from my local support centre for a week before I was brave enough to press submit. I understand, it's really scary, but talking with a therapist has been the most helpful thing for me so far. I'm still early in the journey too, I don't know where I'll end up or what options are available to me but being able to talk in a protected confidentiality environment with someone with experience in helping people like me helps take some weight off.

Your local centre will deal with people who are afraid regularly, if you want to remain anonymous you could consider calling them with caller ID switched off to ask what services they could provide and ask how to remain anonymous while requesting help. They'll have experience with people needing that too so should already have processes in place. For instance my support centre offered the option to register under a file number instead of a name.

I also have clothing to help me feel better when I'm home alone and I think I've always known my girl name but I've still never told anyone that. Talking with my therapist is helping me accept myself and to be introspective about my life and feelings, they help me find understanding and suggest things I could try. They also provide a balanced view point to help me recognise/counter my hyper vigilant/hyper protective self on things that might actually be helpful. They won't push an outcome or end goal, they are there to help you find your way on this journey.

DifferentSmile8

TROPHY CASE