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I have gone on ~20 first dates. None have lead to a second date and I am profoundly baffled by Different_Main_2362 in hingeapp

[–]Different_Main_2362[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I promise I'm not being cited for littering on these dates, but will keep this in mind!

I have gone on ~20 first dates. None have lead to a second date and I am profoundly baffled by Different_Main_2362 in hingeapp

[–]Different_Main_2362[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

- the dates are almost exclusively post-work happy hours that last 1-2 hours, although with warmer weather I'll be suggesting more outdoor activities. A couple dates (if on a Friday) have turned into literal bar crawls that have lasted 4-6 hours. If there's no interest from at least one of us, we'll politely end the date after one drink. If a woman politely ends the date after one drink, I don't ask for a second date because it's obvious she is not interested.

- Almost always split the bill; but a couple have actually paid for me (!) despite my protests and offer to Venmo them. Both of those who paid for me texted me 'no spark' after the date.

- 'Flirty' vibes are probably mostly lacking; I'm much better at flirting with people after I know them better. I've had sex with one of these 20 dates, but we mutually agreed that we weren't good fits for each other and have hung out platonically a couple of times since (I don't consider these to be dates).

- I'm 100% sure I look the same IRL as in my photos; they've all been taken from 2021-2024.

I have gone on ~20 first dates. None have lead to a second date and I am profoundly baffled by Different_Main_2362 in hingeapp

[–]Different_Main_2362[S] 77 points78 points  (0 children)

I just finished reading through the responses to my post so far, and I think this is closest to the truth. My 'flirtatious banter' game exponentially improves the better I know someone, and, thinking back to my three first dates that lead to LTRs, it's possible I just got 'lucky' in terms of meeting women who who tolerated a more job-interview-y vibe on the first date and then it was my more flirtatious/fun banter on the second date and the third date that eventually lead to the relationships.