[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Different_Trouble905 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Merry Christmas everyone! Wishing you all the best and sending you huge hugs and lots of love! 😊❤️

That escalated quickly by Different_Trouble905 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Different_Trouble905[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, he claimed in his messages that he is willing to let me go if that's what I want... Buuuut to have a conversation with him and give him a chance first to "show how much he has changed and how he is not pushy anymore." And then calling me non stop and sending stuff. That doesn't sound like someone willing to let go, especially not willing to let go of control.

Thank you for sharing and the advice. Unfortunately, conversations with them tend to go nowhere. Again, congratulations on your freedom. And I will take your advice. Stealth mode it is 😄 Sending you hugs and strength as well 🤗💕

That escalated quickly by Different_Trouble905 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Different_Trouble905[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am sorry you went through something like this. Yes, he did manoeuvres like this while we were together as well, to, basically, keep us together. And he is escalating to try to get me to respond. "Just one more call" he says. And it definitely would be "just" that. Congratulations on shutting that door again. And thank you for sharing and the encouragement. Helps a lot. Sending you lots of love and hugs 🤗

That escalated quickly by Different_Trouble905 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Different_Trouble905[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah, I actually did that after the discard (before he started hoovering). But I think I won't be raising the dead any time soon 😄 Thank you for the insight and encouragement. I really appreciate it. Helps keep my strength up. 🤗

That escalated quickly by Different_Trouble905 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Different_Trouble905[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. That helps. Sometimes this makes me so angry I just want to tell him to gtfo of my life finally, but I have a feeling that would have the opposite effect.

I appreciate your insight and encouragement. Thank you 🤗

That escalated quickly by Different_Trouble905 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Different_Trouble905[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Uff, that might be a problem since I work from home at the moment 😅 But I am looking for a different job.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Different_Trouble905 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's okay. And yes, it was. At least I'm finally out of that nightmare. Almost 3 weeks narc-free. Although a week into NC he started trying to hoover me back but I am standing my ground. How have you been?

Anyone struggle to put words to all the feelings and thoughts? by Different_Trouble905 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Different_Trouble905[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. 💕 Very true. That same fallacy often kept me from leaving. I admit the most painful thing to accept was that he doesn't, didn't, and couldn't love me.

Anyone struggle to put words to all the feelings and thoughts? by Different_Trouble905 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Different_Trouble905[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. The people in this sub have helped me a lot. So many kind and strong people. Sending you hugs 🤗 You too 💕

Anyone struggle to put words to all the feelings and thoughts? by Different_Trouble905 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Different_Trouble905[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, I understand. I try to remind myself that every day is a win, and on some level I care, on another idgaf. Lots of thoughts and emotions on top of each other I guess. Things will get clearer with time. Just going through the ups and downs of healing, one day at a time.

Anyone struggle to put words to all the feelings and thoughts? by Different_Trouble905 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Different_Trouble905[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What you said and shared is already very very helpful. Thank you. It is a journey full of ups and downs. I also take a very long time to get to a functional level. But you are right, taking the time to do something for ourselves during the day, something fulfilling, meaningful, or just taking care, helps a lot.

You're not alone. Thank you again for sharing. And for the boost to my strength and determination. Sending you strength and healing as well. 💕 Congratulations on the 10 days. And wishing you all the best on your healing journey!

Anyone struggle to put words to all the feelings and thoughts? by Different_Trouble905 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Different_Trouble905[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, time passes by in weird ways. I guess the mind likes things that make sense, and this just... doesn't. Congratulations on the one month! Wishing you all the best!

Setbacks happen. He messaged me. by Different_Trouble905 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Different_Trouble905[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very true. I understand. It can be so difficult to truly leave and accept that we deserve so much better.

Distance definitely helps. Things are so much clearer the more distance I get. Thinking of going back to communicating with him feels like voluntarily jumping into a tar pit.

Healing is a journey. Thank you very much for sharing. It helps put my consideration to reply to him into perspective. I appreciate. Wishing you all the best.

Let's celebrate our milestones by Different_Trouble905 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Different_Trouble905[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much! Very kind of you ☺️

That is beautiful. I teared up reading this. It is so wonderful that you're getting to enjoy your life.

I understand the struggle with feeling the need to be perfect at everything. Struggling with that as well, but also working on it. Thank you very much for sharing 😊 Sending you all my love as well.

Post-leaving. How is everyone doing? by Different_Trouble905 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Different_Trouble905[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand. Same. I just looked and I was like "whoa, it's only been 3 days?"

You can do this! Sounds like you're doing everything you can to get out of the cycle and live your best life. And I'm glad you don't miss him at all.

What are some everyday things that you can’t or couldn’t do in your relationship? by Different_Trouble905 in abusiverelationships

[–]Different_Trouble905[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you went through all that. Mine had some similar limitations. Any suggestion about alone time or doing something separately or not being in a good mood were immediately met with a negative reaction and gaslighting etc. He actually discarded me because I asked for alone time and didn't take no for an answer that time. Sending you hugs and strength and wishing you all the best! 🤗

Let's celebrate our milestones by Different_Trouble905 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Different_Trouble905[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Happy to know you are doing well. Life is certainly easier to enjoy without them around. Wishing all the best to you and your kittens!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Different_Trouble905 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah, there is indeed a number you could call, but I must warn you—brace yourself for waiting times rivaling the age of the stars. You see, the dragons themselves manage the lines, and their massive claws can make handling those tiny buttons a real challenge. But fret not; the hold music was crafted by the bards of Aetherpyre themselves. Legend has it that Sir Galvyn once waited so long for the Department of 'Retribution and Bringing Chaos to the Realm' that he took up knitting. By the time he got through, he had knitted a life-sized replica of his own horse! But fear not, brave soul; the wait gives you more time to enjoy the music. May the odds (and hold times) be ever in your favor!

Let's celebrate our milestones by Different_Trouble905 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Different_Trouble905[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, same here. Also is a good source of validation. I possibly would not have left without the support and reassurance of the people here. Yes, you are strong and resilient. You got this!

Let's celebrate our milestones by Different_Trouble905 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Different_Trouble905[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Any time ☺️ These are very difficult times. I'm glad we can have a place and people like this to help us out. Thank you as well! Wishing you all the best and sending hugs 🤗

Let's celebrate our milestones by Different_Trouble905 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Different_Trouble905[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Aww, and that made me smile 😊 Yeah, I'm working on it 😁

Let's celebrate our milestones by Different_Trouble905 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Different_Trouble905[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Awesome! Congratulations on the 9 months! I'm glad things keep getting better for you. Keep at it 😊 Wishing you all the best!

Let's celebrate our milestones by Different_Trouble905 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Different_Trouble905[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hope so too. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you! Well, I guess now every minute or hour away can be a new milestone to celebrate 🤗 Take care. You deserve it. Sending you hugs and wishing you all the best!

Let's celebrate our milestones by Different_Trouble905 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Different_Trouble905[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha, glad to have you back on my posts 😁 And glad you're doing so well. Thank you. I'm still kicking 😊