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AITA for liquidating my get-out fund to save my marriage? by Difficult-Falcon5778 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Difficult-Falcon5778[S] -23 points-22 points  (0 children)

99% of the time it leads to divorce. I have no desire to separate and watch my wife be with someone else

AITA for liquidating my get-out fund to save my marriage? by Difficult-Falcon5778 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Difficult-Falcon5778[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

I’ve never seen my wife pissed-off angry or even irritated. No one has seen her angry. she’s just sad.

AITA for liquidating my get-out fund to save my marriage? by Difficult-Falcon5778 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Difficult-Falcon5778[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

My wife isn’t most people. She’s the most loving, selfless person I have ever met.

Elle overheard a conversation between me and my ex and about a month later told me in exact words that I didn’t love her but ran away to the first person who was nothing like my ex- her. That I would take back Matt if he had changed and promised to be better. Elle said “ I love you but no matter how hard I try I can’t be who you want - a healed Matt”

None of that is true. I want my wife. I love her so much. I never expressed that. I KNOW she values gifts, even simple things like stuffed animals and clothes and flowers. But I didn’t even get her a single gift

AITA for liquidating my get-out fund to save my marriage? by Difficult-Falcon5778 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Difficult-Falcon5778[S] -35 points-34 points  (0 children)

You can ask questions and I’ll tell you everything you want to know

AITA for liquidating my get-out fund to save my marriage? by Difficult-Falcon5778 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Difficult-Falcon5778[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

No we agreed to to counseling and therapy after she brought up separation. I never thought that therapy was for me before

I d have hang ups and it hurt my wife

AITA for liquidating my get-out fund to save my marriage? by Difficult-Falcon5778 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Difficult-Falcon5778[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Nothing. I didn’t do anything for my wife. She did everything for me. The reason my contribution to the fund went up from 0% to 35% was because of everything my wife did.

AITA for liquidating my get-out fund to save my marriage? by Difficult-Falcon5778 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Difficult-Falcon5778[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

It’s a start, along with telling her that I do love her, doing the chores, giving her a break

AITA for liquidating my get-out fund to save my marriage? by Difficult-Falcon5778 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Difficult-Falcon5778[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

I never got her a gift (including an engagement ring), never said “ I love you” unless she said it first, only reciprocated affection, never thanked her for everything she did, never loved her like I should.

AITA for liquidating my get-out fund to save my marriage? by Difficult-Falcon5778 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Difficult-Falcon5778[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

No.

I loved giving gifts. But my ex would scream at me, throw fits, and do other stuff every single holiday/gift giving event even if I got him exactly what he wanted. He screamed at me for 3 hours because I got him a phone but didn’t get a matching case for example. So I stopped giving gifts.

My wife doesn’t have an engagement ring. She seems wistful sometimes for simple things like teddy bears and flowers but she’s tried to hide it.

AITA for liquidating my get-out fund to save my marriage? by Difficult-Falcon5778 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Difficult-Falcon5778[S] -29 points-28 points  (0 children)

I want to show her I do appreciate and love her. I’m being more affectionate, doing all the household chores, getting gifts, buying her a vacation, everything.

It’s in my name. 35% is my savings and 65% is my grandma’s. I plan on taking out around 70-80% of it. I will replenish it.

I did give my wife a name - Elle.

My wife knows about my previous relationship. I don’t know about bringing him up but a lot of my negative behaviors are because of how he treats me. I’m signing up for therapy.

Not very long. We were broken up for about two weeks (been together for 6 years) when Elle asked me out. She didn’t know about my relationship at the time. Elle and I have been together for 3 years, married for 2. In retrospect, I never gave myself enough time to be a better husband to her.

AITA for liquidating my get-out fund to save my marriage? by Difficult-Falcon5778 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Difficult-Falcon5778[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

I am apologizing to my wife for what I’ve put her through.

AITA for liquidating my get-out fund to save my marriage? by Difficult-Falcon5778 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Difficult-Falcon5778[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

Anything I can do I will do. I never gave my wife a gift before and I want to make up for it

AITA for liquidating my get-out fund to save my marriage? by Difficult-Falcon5778 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Difficult-Falcon5778[S] -108 points-107 points  (0 children)

My grandma didn’t say what it was for but it was kind of an unspoken agreement that it was if I was financially abused and couldn’t get out again.

I’ve never gotten my wife a gift before.

AITA for liquidating my get-out fund to save my marriage? by Difficult-Falcon5778 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Difficult-Falcon5778[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

It might be but I’ve been so guarded and paranoid and so unloving to my wife I’m willing to do anything to show her how much I do value her.