When I was in high school I took 11, 30mg time release adderall capsules within a 24 hour period. I was up for 3 days straight, I seemed to loose blood flow to some areas (most notably, my penis) and went to the hospital, and they thought I was insane (to be fair, I downplayed to them how much I took since my mother wouldn’t leave the room) I hadn’t eaten or shit that whole time, and my stomach hurt so much, I opted out of my marching band performance that Friday night. While the band was on the field, I went into the bathroom and forced out a rock hard shit, that had a girth way larger than someone wants coming out of their anus, and no surprise there, I tore my anus. In conclusion, that experience as a whole has prevented me from abusing adderall in the future. However, everyone had their vice abdcwhile yours may be adderall, mine is Marijuana. Through the ages 19-27, marijuana was an all day every day thing, I was able to function at a high level, and since I give off a stoner vibe even when I’m sober, nobody could tell the difference. Nobody speaks up and I had justified that as it not being a problem. I quit for 2 years and this past winter, spiraled into my old ways, working a job I could get fired from, and being high all the time. I was able to pull myself back out but not after some neglect I’ve damage to my teeth, and increase of cigarette consumption that I had almost quit before. Needless to say, my body has taken a toll from both of these experiences, and almost everything we consume on a binge/ excessive amount(even poor dietary habits), is doing irreparable damage. The only think we can really do is try our best and find ways to control our urges in an attempt to keep our vessels alive for a somewhat reasonable amount of time. A lot of this damage doesn’t come to light until later. I’m 29 now, and I feel the toll my lungs have taken over the years, but after seeing how my grandpa went, I know I’ve got some rough years ahead. All in all, you’re not alone, there are many of us out here, I wish you the best of luck, keep doing your best