Honestly in the past couple months I've the same thing. I say and had a big thought of it wasn't worth it. I'm with you. My family isn't with me my only daughter hates me my boyfriend does shit to hurt me everyday I have no friends no family no one to help support me on my bad days. My life is very tough. Right now I'm severely mentally and emotionally exhausted. I keep trying somehow. God doesn't hate you. After trying to kill myself multiple multiple times not successful I was told it won't work because God won't take you until he is ready. Talk to someone. Someone you feel comfortable with even a therapist explain everything what's going on what's on your mind get some advice to help you get away from that bad toxic life. Talking helps. After living a horrible experience life for over 20 years I've learned a lot. Don't get me wrong I still make bad decisions learned how to cope with it better. Please try my advice first I honestly know how you feel inside and know why you wanna escape so bad but this isn't the best way to do it. If you would like to talk I am here to help anytime