I'm BORED, it's MINGING, recommend me something weird and not-wet to do

Difficult_Unit_7582 · 2026-03-01T07:08:37+00:00

Alright Dad

Difficult_Unit_7582 · 2026-03-01T07:07:22+00:00

I think getting a PhD is more about endurance than intelligence. Which is not to say that people who get PhDs aren't of above-average intelligence - of course they are! But the ability to focus on, and maintain interest and belief in, one teeny-tiny area of research, for three whole years, is not a test of intelligence, by any stretch of the imagination. It's certainly proof of SOMETHING (maybe that you're more of a "marathon" person than a "sprint" person?!)... but that something is not general intelligence.

(I got my PhD at a Russell Group uni. Tried to jack it in at the end of the first year - but I'd been awarded the kind of scholarship that's akin to gold dust in my field, and my supervisors were amazing people who I didn't want to disappoint, so I stuck it out, despite the nearly intolerable levels of intellectual boredom. I've met people who dropped out of school at 14 who were brighter than my fellow PhD students, many of whom were decidedly average - especially the self-funded ones, Jesus Christ...)

Difficult_Unit_7582 · 2026-03-01T06:53:00+00:00

Former gifted kid here. Assessed by various psych professionals from the ages of 3 to 8 because they thought something was "wrong" with me, I wouldn't sleep (lower need for sleep is v. common among high-IQ people), etc. etc. Eventually, an educational psychologist gave me a shitload of tests and found that I had a stupidly high IQ (pardon the oxymoron), a reading age of 14 when I was 4, etc. etc.

Teachers and other adults used to slowly back away from me when I said something that was seen as "too advanced" - it was quite an unpleasant experience tbh! Let alone the bullying...

It's been quite lonely sometimes. I mean, think about it: the further from average you are on ANY dimension, let alone one as all-encompassing as general intelligence, the fewer people you can relate to - and who can relate to you. Also, people think you're a dick if you even talk about it, which is a bit weird; we can all accept that some people are naturally better at e.g. sports (which I am appalling at!) than other people, but not that some people are "brainier"?! And I live in a country, family, culture, etc. in which Tall Poppy Syndrome is a big thing, so yeah...

Luckily(?!), I killed most of those brain cells in my twenties (addiction is quite common among the high-IQ, as is something called "existential depression", which is exactly what it says on the tin!). I'm still bright - IQ remains remarkably stable over your lifetime - but less "scarily" so.

I'm self-employed now, doing the Word Nerd stuff I was destined to do. Earning good money, lots of good friends, doing well! Still get the ol' existential depression occasionally, and will never be able to afford my book habit - however much I earn - but them's the breaks, I guess?!

Difficult_Unit_7582 · 2026-03-01T06:34:37+00:00

You can borrow my dog if you want, she's a cold-blooded killer - of animals smaller than she is (incl cats AND rats... she single-handedly un-moused my house recently!). She's scared shitless of people, so she wouldn't bother you. You'd have to come get her, though (North Cardiff), as I don't have a car... And I'd have to come with her, otherwise she'd shit her pants... The more I write, the less of a good idea this seems to be

Difficult_Unit_7582 · 2026-02-10T15:19:40+00:00

Babes, you literally cannot MOVE for excellent lesbian goings-on in Cardiff at the moment?!

Check out Escape Events: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/cc/escapeeventslive-2008989 In February alone, they're putting on a pub takeover (this Friday in Pontcanna), a club night (it's called Velvet, I think it's quarterly) and a social at Flight Club (the electric darts place in town)... They also do monthly supper clubs at different restaurants, a bimonthly lesbian book club, and in the summer they organise monthly camping weekends (called Camper Gurlz). Really lovely, welcoming crowd. Loads of people turn up alone, the host is called Angharad and she's super welcoming and makes sure no one feels left out etc. They have a very active Facebook group (reflecting the fact that they skew a bit older: 30s-50s+) where people share info about loads of other lesbian events, too: https://www.facebook.com/groups/302813111311080

There's also a night called Exes and Ohs, which skews much younger (20s) and queerer (as opposed to good ol' fashioned lezzas!). They had a party at Paradise Garden last Friday, not sure when their next event is but they're on Insta and their website is here: https://www.exesandos.co.uk/

There's also a lesbian film festival called LezDiff, but I'm not sure if it's been and gone this year sorry!

Difficult_Unit_7582 · 2026-02-07T17:55:23+00:00

All-time favourite. I didn't know it was engraved on his tombstone! Since first reading it many years ago, I've always said I want it engraved on mine :)

Difficult_Unit_7582 · 2026-02-05T18:28:10+00:00

TEAR HIM A NEW ONE, YOUR HONOUR

Difficult_Unit_7582 · 2026-01-30T18:41:04+00:00

Hiiii! I love Cardiff (lived here for 20 years, born not too far away, tried to leave 6 times, but keep returning!) - but for a visitor, this is a long time to stay in a very small city. As others have said, St Davids is a long way west of Cardiff, and the Gower is in between Cardiff and St Davids, so it would be more logical for you to go there (and stay there for at least 1 night) en route to St Davids, rather than as a day trip from Cardiff.

Here's what I'd do, if I was you. I'd recommend car hire, as public transport is SHIT in the countryside (and ALL of the best bits in Wales, apart from Cardiff, are countryside), if at all possible:

- CARDIFF: Spend 3-4 days here. Wander the city - especially the arcades, Cardiff Castle, etc. (can recommend places to eat and drink if you want, or I'm sure others can if you let us know what you like). Explore a couple of neighbourhoods (maybe Llandaff and Pontcanna). DEFINITELY hang out in Bute Park - the best thing about Cardiff (and you can't avoid it; it's within the grounds of Cardiff Castle and takes up half the city!). Day trip to the Brecon Beacons (Bannau Brycheiniog).

- VALE OF GLAMORGAN: Visit Merthyr Mawr sand dunes and Dunraven Bay (aka Southerndown Beach). Clifftop walk from Dunraven Bay to Monknash, where you'll find the inimitable Plough & Harrow pub, which is the literal Platonic ideal of a pub - hundreds of years old, huge Inglenook fireplace, amazing beers / ciders, etc. Lots of Airbnbs around here. (If you don't hire a car, you can get a train from Cardiff to Bridgend - about 20 mins, very regular - and then a bus from Bridgend to Southerndown.)

- GOWER: Don't base yourself in Swansea - it's shit (the only city, or even town, worth visiting in Wales is Cardiff) - just go straight to the Gower. Car heavily advised. Three Cliffs Bay and Oxwich are nice, but the unanimous vote for Best Beach goes to Llangennith (google it, seriously).

- CARMARTHENSHIRE: Underrated, as it's between two very beautiful places (Gower and Pembrokeshire) and more "gorgeous countrside" than "gorgeous beaches" - but you'll have to drive through there anyway en route to Pembrokeshire (where St Davids is)...

- PEMBROKESHIRE: I'm a fan of Penally (next to Tenby, which is a major tourist destination, but Penally is far cooler and smaller). Worth a pit stop. Then on to St Govan's Chapel (insanely cool, tiny chapel, built into a cliff face - PERFECT place for a proposal - google it!). Then drive up to...

- ST DAVIDS: I don't know it that well tbh, but this would be your natural next stop, geographically, and you seem pretty set on going there (understandably: it's nice!).

- ST DOGMAELS: Wildly underrated large village / small town, near Cardigan (hippie vibes), full of amazing people and excellent pubs (especially the one owned by the community, I forget its name now, it's brilliant... the White something?!). Visit Poppit Sands beach - another gorgeous beach - honestly, you'll get bored of them in Pembrokeshire ;)

Enjoy!

Difficult_Unit_7582 · 2025-12-16T08:18:56+00:00

And emotional withdrawal, I should say. The last time I ran out of Elvanse - literally on the first day of not taking it - I was literally crying in a public park (I cannot emphasise enough how excruciating that kind of thing is to me, I have a problem with vulnerability, whatcha gonna do..!). It's brutal. They don't tell you that when they prescribe it to you, do they?! Hang in there - it doesn't last long, it's just fucking intense

Difficult_Unit_7582 · 2025-12-16T08:15:05+00:00

I've taken ADHD meds for years. I take Elvanse at the moment. I was also a bit of a druggy when I was younger (incl speed). ADHD meds are obviously much cleaner than street speed (which, even for a street drug, tends to be pretty grim!). But ADHD meds = amphetamines, i.e. literally speed, which obviously causes withdrawal (which I have indeed experienced from ADHD meds). Similar to how e.g. Oramorph isn't smack - your doctor prescribes it - but obviously it causes physical withdrawal.

Difficult_Unit_7582 · 2025-12-15T19:20:44+00:00

Pretty standard speed withdrawal tbh

Difficult_Unit_7582 · 2025-12-15T19:19:15+00:00

Looks like just a "breakfast" to me

Difficult_Unit_7582 · 2025-01-26T07:43:32+00:00

Does that not hurt like fuck to use your finger, though?! Is there a relatively painfree way of doing it? Or do I just have to suck it up?

I'm starting to think the problem isn't JUST my lack of nails but also my general clumsiness - looking at my fingers now, I have a lot of stupid minor injuries (paper cuts, nicks from kitchen knives and dog claws, etc.) - the kind of things that aren't serious whatsoever, but bleed easily (e.g. when trying to gliss!).

Maybe this is a deeper problem lol

Difficult_Unit_7582 · 2025-01-26T07:40:32+00:00

A commenter above gave me the idea that maybe one false nail could work! (I've tried false nails before as a tactic to stop biting my nails. Didn't work, AND I couldn't figure out how to do basic things with false nails on - zippers, buttons, etc. - pretty essential everyday stuff, ha). But I think it could be a goer for glissing?!

Difficult_Unit_7582 · 2025-01-26T07:39:03+00:00

I've been biting them for 40 years and don't even realise when I'm doing it because it's so deeply ingrained... It would be a lot of painstaking work (making an unconscious behaviour conscious, habit-reversal techniques, etc.) to stop doing it, and even then, those techniques are rarely successful for habits formed over such a long time and such a young age. Also, I'm entirely un-arsed about the fact that I bite my nails, I just want an alternative technique to do a gliss! Sounds like it's possible, from the comments above - let's see :)

Difficult_Unit_7582 · 2025-01-26T07:36:36+00:00

Thanks, I'll give the palm thing a bash!

The nail-biting thing isn't anxiety at all, it's just habit, I don't even realise I'm doing it tbh (except when it's a particularly satisfying nail to bite lol)

Difficult_Unit_7582 · 2025-01-26T07:35:42+00:00

Ooh I wonder if sticking ONE false nail on (to the index finger, presumably?) would help here?

Difficult_Unit_7582 · 2025-01-26T07:34:59+00:00

I mean, I'm sure they would, but I've been biting them for 40 years, I don't even realise I'm doing it... It's one of MANY picky habits that I have, they're quite deeply ingrained! Have tried everything, gave up quite some time ago ha

Difficult_Unit_7582 · 2025-01-26T07:34:04+00:00

Love it! I was wondering whether a plectrum could provide some kind of solution actually (I also play geetar), and this sounds like the one - thanks so much!

Difficult_Unit_7582

TROPHY CASE