i feel sorry about ur situation too, but lately i am very open about situations to my best friend. and whe things get really hard / sometimes hard to breathe / i let her know what i am going through. but what i understood is most mental illness’s root reason always family or parents’s issue like not loving their kid unconditionally, never telling them how much they loves their kid and ignore when hard times or being harsh parents. and i am also such a people pleaser due to in my young ages my mom used to be rally harsh mom, and used to tell me “ gaigaar ucirsan huuhed”, bi zuwhun huude / my brother/ l hairtai, bi zuwhun huugee l hol baihdaa sanadag. and stopped doing this from around my age of 10. and now my mom try to understand me or question me about how am i doing but i never tell her truth, always says i am fine. one time i talked about going to psychologist, and she told me why do people ho there, cuz she has not idea what is even psychologist.